Beach Buddies

This one ain't watcha think.  No pictures, no jokes about the sights and sounds of the beach.  And the worst part is, I don't even get to enjoy it.

This one is about the "Greenwood Ya Ya Sisterhood".  The spousal unit has some very special friends from high school:  Susan King, Leslie Barlow, Dawn Reynolds Wilson, and Alisa Bowen Jernigan.  These five ladies have an annual Orange Beach/Gulf Shores  trip each year, just them, no men allowed.

The whole group is not always able to work out their schedules so that all can attend, but those that are not there in body, are definitely there is spirit.  I haven't been able to figure out if they have a bunch of male strippers show up, but they sure know how to keep each other entertained.

Last year, one of the girls couldn't make the trip.  So, on the ride down south, they stopped at an adult book store and picked up an inflatable doll, including wig. They named her " Faux-Lisa" in honor of their missing mate!  That babe got blowed up and dolled up, and where the gals went, so did she.  She was at the beach, she was in the hot tub, and even went out to eat.  At the Flor-Bama, she even did the zip line to the stage!



Toward the end of the trip, their blowup friend developed a leak and had to stay home.  Some folks in the restaurant spotted them and yelled "hey! where's ya'll's friend?!"

I am so glad that the spousal unit has these friends and that they are able to make the time to go hang out at the beach for a week and do nothing but be girls again and have a blast.

I've been practicing all summer in hopes of being drafted as their "resident beach boy" for next year, but as hard as I try, I don't think its gonna happen.  What happens on the beach, stays on the beach, and no men allowed!

 So, SALUTE! of the Greenwood Ya Ya Sistahood!

I ain't no Ole Miss Rebel, but I dressed like one Saturday

Game Day:
Saturday.  Game day.  First home game in Starkville. First home game in Starkville.  What to do, what to do?  Since I live in a "house divided" some tough decisions have to be made.  We line up the schedules, figure out the "no brainers" then flip a coin on the conflicts to see what colors to we will be wearing on Football Saturday.  Since TSUN only has one home game in September, Oxford was the winner this go round.

Pit Stop:
The roads to Oxford and Starkville are a whole lot easier these days compared to "back when I was in school".  Now you have four lane highways headed in both directions. 

I was so fired up about Football Saturday that I was up at the butt crack of dawn.  All the tailgate gear was packed the night before, just needing to be loaded up at early rise.   I had a cypress bench to deliver, so packing had to be loaded around that.  Also loaded up one of my ice chest cooler boxes to use as a refrigerator for all the "foo foo food" that needed to be kept cool.  Got it all packed, hopped in the drivers seat, cranked up the Kia, then oh CRAP!  The spousal unit was still in the bed cutting those zzz's with the CPAP machine justa humming.  I shoulda thrown a yellow hankie at her for delay of game!

Pit Stop:
We finally got on the road about 10:00 and up I-55 we went.  I learned long ago it is better to be slow and safe, compared to fast and pulled over, or God forbid, in a wreck.  Got a call from a friend that needed a favor.  Her SUV broke down on her during her gas stop in Grenada.  She couldn't find her parking pass so she asked me to stop and look through the car.    Get there, find the hidden key, and open the door.  Found coffee cups, cigarette butts, six changes of clothes, several beach towels, lots of unopened junk mail, but no parking pass.  That girl must live in that vehicle.

Since we had stopped, it made since to kill a few errands at one time.  Topped off the gas tank, got the bottled water for the chafing dish, got the ice for the ice chest cooler box, then went across the street to the local liquor store for a bottle of tequila that we needed for Sunday.  Oh Lord!  I step through the door of the Sunset Liquor Store and it looked almost abandoned, nothing, literally nothing in the center of the store.  All four walls were lined up with shelves, stocked with everything needed for a good ole drunk in the Grenada County Hills on a Saturday night.  Don't even think about asking about the wine selection in a place like this!  I looked for the clerk, and there he was.  Good ole Bubba, all decked out in a stained covered wife beater t-shirt.  I asked about Tequila, and he just pointed, saying nothing.  I looked though his selections, no Cuevro Gold.  I politely inquired, and his answer was, "ain't no gold in here, just silver and 1800".  Silver it was.  Bubba turns out to be quite the math genious. All the prices were listed with so many dollars and a bunch of odd cents. Bubba done priced everthang so that it would ring up even dollars including sales tax!  Don't think he even had any coins in the register.  You have got to stop by and see Bubba's operation for yourself the next time you take a break in Grenada.

Final Approach:
As you reach Batesville you take the exit to highway 6.  On the right is a gas station that has all the party supplies that you forgot to pack and then some.  There is even a Rebel Shop in a trailer in the parking lot for those that forgot and wore the wrong color shirt for game day.

As you get closer to Oxford, you have to take pause, and remember the poor gals that were killed or injured on a charity walk on this highway, as you pass the memorial that was erected to honor them.  There are a lot of things that happen in this world that make you wonder "why", and this is one of them.

City Limits:
It always cracks me up to see the line of cars in the left lane once you enter the city limits of Oxford.  Everybody wants to turn left on Jackson Avenue.  There are three more exits right down the road that end up in the middle of campus!  Must be getting a bite to eat, Shopping at Rebel Rags, or loading up on tailgate supplies at the Wally World.

We take the last exit on Lamar that leads to downtown, the Square, and University Avenue.  The exit off 6 at Lamar has  "round-a-bouts" on each side of the bridge.  There has been many a country boy that has gotten caught up in one of those loops where he has either backed up traffic waiting his turn, or he is in a continual loop and can't figure out how to get off! 

The first sighting of what the day will bring was one of those self serve ice machines.  It was only 1:00 pm, with a 6:30 kickoff, and they had already put up the "sold out" sign.

Parking:
With the new parking policy, I knew that some would take advantage of the situation to their profit!  Didn't realize it would be the local churches!  The Baptist kept their price steady at $20.  The enterprising Methodists marked theirs up from $20 to $30.  The Catholics in previous years had figured it out and theirs was reserved parking only.

On game day 2013, you can enter the campus up to 3 hours before kickoff to unload your supplies and passengers, but you have to have a parking pass to park your vehicle on campus.  This was especially troublesome for the families that had large blocks of tickets, but get only one parking pass for a fee of $100.  I damn near had three or four fender benders just trying to unload.  Those hem lines on those coeds keep getting shorter and shorter!  Thank you Lord for blessing me with two boys!

I think the University had more security working the parking issue today than they had in the 1960's on the day when the first black kid, James  Meredith, was enrolled as a student.

We were fortunate enough to get assigned to the Ford Center parking, which is one a hop, skip and a jump from the Grove.

Tailgating:
We are fortunate enough to have friends that locate their tent on the corner as you cross the bridge on University Avenue, right next to the "Popo Tent".  Here is a picture of me and the spousal unit with the "Popo" in the background:

As a surprised, I got all decked out in the color of the day for my Rebellion Friends"

Yep! even my shoes wear red.

My dear friend Marian, remarked that I truly must be going through the change.  I just fired back "I may be red on the outside today, but I am true maroon on the inside, including my boxers!"  Tried to get her to look but she turned her head away in just the nick of time!

The ice chest cooler box I brought was a great addition.  It became the designated refrigerator for those "foo foo" items that can't take the heat, like those deviled eggs!


People have finally figured out the little party wagons, as we had three identical red ones!  My buddy Thom commented that after seeing mine, he had to get one.  He was glad he did, because his parking lot was on the back side of nowhere!

To me, the best part of being in the Grove is the bird watching.  It must have been a tough summer state wide, as the plumage on the coeds has gotten shorter and shorter. My buddy Thom and I agreed that on our next trip to Oxford, we would be bringing a wooden yard stick and a t-shirt printed with "skirt alert". If these coeds come by with dresses and skirts shorter than my shirt tail, we are gonna yell "skirt alert!" And turn them around and send them home! (We would probably be out numbered!)

The Game:
These days, schools have a designated game day color.  Today of course, was red.  As you entered the stadium, all you saw was a sea of red.  And hot, oh it was hot.  You can pay $8 for a large stadium cup that has refills.  Mine ended up averaging $2 per cup full.  I highly recommend it on a hot day.

They have a "freshmen run" at the first home game.  The freshmen all line up outside the stadium, and they get to run the length of the field to the student section.  There is no way that security has validated all of those tickets of these freshmen.  It is amazing to see how many freshmen there are on campus each year.

During one of the game breaks, Cspire, the cell phone company, gave away a car to one of five students that had the highest rebel reward points accumulated from last year.   I got to wondering, are they are going honor the student with the highest number of parking tickets from last year at the next game?

As predicted, the game against Southeast Missouri was a runaway.  Before the beginning of the second half all the frat boys and their dates had left the Vaught!

Potty Break:
On a hot game day Saturday, you will eventually have mother nature come a calling.  As you age your body starts going through changes.  I have officially reached the latter stages of manhood.  Me and four older guys were all lined up at the urinal, and nothing was happening.  Not a drop.  Felt like I was a kid again that had consumed too much alcohol.  No matter how hard I tried, nothing!  Finally one of the old guys hollered "anybody having any luck down the line?"  All of a sudden the whole bathroom broke out in laughter.  Seems nobody was having any luck, since we had all sweated out most of the liquid we had consumed.  Finally, the Ah's began, relief!  Another round of laughter began.

Time to Go:
Game over, back to the Grove you go.  Some begin to immediately pack up, others sit down and discuss the days events while waiting for traffic to clear.  We try to figure which little red wagon belongs to whom. We get everything all packed up and loaded up with the exception of the tent.  Tent guy comes by later.  Great investment by friend Charla!

Since traffic had now cleared, I was able to pull my KIA up to the curb.  Some ole boys noticed my MSU Dad sticker on the window and they said, "Hey lady, what's with the State sticker, you need to get rid of that"  The spousal unit replied "I live in a divided household, Hotty Toddy!"  With that those boys were very apologetic and came back and gave her a hug and together that all yelled their Hotty Toddy cheer, Momma and the young'n's!  Love it!

 As we are driving down highway 6 towards Batesville, I kept smelling something.  I didn't figure it out until we got to I-55.  It was ME!

What a day.  Got to spend quality time with my wife, see lots of friends that went to the wrong school, and practice my bird watching skills.  Ain't nothing like the South on College Game Day.

Life is good, live it each day, for tomorrow you will be gone.  For all my Ole Miss friends, Hotty Titty!, I mean Hotty Toddy! Go Dogs!

I Got the Unemployment Check Blues

Well, my life changing event that occurred nineteen months ago has reached another milestone.  As of tomorrow, I will have received my final unemployment check, unless the Federal Government and the State of Mississippi grants another extension.

For those of you that have been fortunate enough to miss out on this, it has been quite an experience.  Each week you have to go online and file your weekly certification that says you are able to work, but still unemployed.  In addition to that you have to submit a minimum of three job applications that you applied for that week.  This is easily done through careerbuilder.com. Also included in this process are two free visits to the MS WIN job center office, where they verify that you are living and breathing.

Here is the kicker:  I have been counted as "unemployed" for the nineteen months.  Next month, even though I will be still unemployed, I fall out of the statistical count, neither employed or unemployed.  Government's way of counting only includes the bodies they are paying.

I'm not a whiner, I'm not a complainer, and I'm not a "poor pitiful me" person.  I have definitely made the most of my "retirement" with tag-a-logs with the spousal unit on business trips, and vacations in the timeshares we have acquired over time.

There  are both "downers and uppers that come with the territory.  These are for readers that are or  about to follow in my unemployment footsteps:

Downers:

1.  Medical insurance.  While I was employed, I had excellent medical coverage.  Some of the best I had ever seen.  Once you become unemployed, you are allowed to continue the coverage for a period of months, at the full premium, with no discount called COBRA.  My premium skyrocketed when the employer paid portion became my responsibility.  Fortunately for me, my wife's insurance plan picked us up, at a discounted rate.

2.  Life insurance.  I had very good life insurance benefits, at affordable rates.  Because it was group term insurance, the only conversion available was an individual term product, where again, the premium for the same coverage skyrocketed.  Only affordable option for me was a lot less coverage with an independent carrier.

5.  Finances.  I have been fortunate enough to have some resources for the road before me.  I had one son finish college, but unemployed, and another son just starting college.  Between scholarships, student loans, and college savings plans, the schooling is taken care of.  Please plan ahead people.  Every penny adds up.  I used to eat restaurant lunches five days a week.  Now peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and pop tarts are my two best friends. 

4.  Work friends.  You work with people for 18+ years, and you develop a kinship with them.  Not like family, but more than "just punching a clock".  Suddenly, you are alone, and very quickly those "work friends" become "former fellow employees", then just people you used to "work with".  I am a people person, and this hard been the hardest thing for me to adjust to.  I still have two dear friends that I occasionally meet for lunch, but that is about it.

Positives:

1.  I wake up everyday with a smile on my face.  Don't do a job because you are good at it, do it because you enjoy it.  After I informed my wife and oldest son of my situation, the oldest called the youngest at school and said "something is wrong with Dad".  The youngest asked if he needed to come home.  The oldest said "stay at school.  The old man is smiling"! Suddenly, I realized that  I had forgotten how to smile.  It finally occurred to me that I was depressed, for more years than I would admit!  I have not used an alarm clock in nineteen months and I am awake earlier than ever and ready to take on the world.

2.  I found a great financial planner that has consolidated all of my retirement assets under one umbrella.  Together we are working on a strategy for me that hopefully, will allow me to survive to old age.  If you haven't begun to save, shame on you.  Start now.  Make a plan and stick with it.

3.  Social media has been a life saver for me.  I have reconnected with hundreds of friends from elementary school to former co-workers.  This is a far cry from public interaction, but hey, its free and most importantly its fun!

4.  Besides taking trips, I also occupy my time doing charity work and a hobby or two.  The first summer I was cutting the front lawns of all my neighbors while they were at work.  Believe it or not, some asked me to stop, for one reason or another.  Once the heat of July and August got here, I just stuck with mine.  Pick a charity, but don't let the charity pick you.  My time is spent with my local church, Stewpot Food Pantry, and several others. 

5.  I have been able to spend time with my wife and sons.  My wife and I have become more closely connected.  We are more bonded together than at any other time of our marriage.  I live you babe.

6.  Pick up a hobby.  Me, I bucket garden, "can" the harvest, twiddle with wood working, and have cooked for  some terminally ill friends.   I even started this blog, at the encouragement of my boys and a few supportive friends. Get busy, stay busy.  Stop, and you will rust, fall apart, and die.

I have been thinking about writing this one for a long time.  The timing was never right, but with the "last check", it just felt right.  .  With a few exceptions, I don't know who you are.  It doesn't even matter, because you are there, you are reading my words, and you are thinking about what I have to say, and for that, I "thank you"!

Call Me Old Fashioned, but...

There are a lot of old traditions that seem to be disappearing, but not in my book.....

Open Door Policy:
With the invention of the automatic door openers that have been installed in retail stores, boys, and even men, have forgotten how to open a door for a woman.  Part of the problem is that people are in too big of a hurry.  It is my policy to always take a look behind me when I reach to open a door.  You will never notice the woman pushing the stroller or the older woman with a walker if you don't take a second to look.

A Bridge too Far:
Its funny how you are in need of a particular item in a store and it is on the top shelf, just out of reach.  This is especially true for women that are short in statue.  If you see someone struggling to reach an item on a shelf, take the time to reach for them.  Being an impatient kind of guy, I have been known to grab a stick and just knock it off the shelf!

Hugga Hugga:
This is something that's been hard for me to do.  I grew up in a family atmosphere where you just didn't touch each other.  My youngest makes sure that he gets a big ole hug from me every time we say goodbye.  I'm learning that there are advantages to hugging women.   They smell good, and feel good, especially the ones with all the curves.  I feel like I might break the little petite ones if I squeeze them too hard.


Phone Call:
Nothing I hate worse than my two boys not answering their cell phone.  We pay the bill, answer it.  They, like others of their generation would prefer to text everything.  Me, I want to hear your voice.  You pick up on a lot more by listening to the sound and patterns of the spoken word.  You often ask the question "how are you?"  You can learn a lot about a person just in the way they say the word "fine".

Last Piece:
I have learned the hard way, never, ever, eat the last piece of your spousal unit's birthday cake.  Trust me on this one, it ain't pretty.  When I had my first roommate, it would frustrate me to no end to open up the refrigerator and discover an empty pitcher of Koolaid on the shelf.  Drink the last glass, make a fresh pitcher. 

Church Mouse:
My momma always said, "if you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything at all."    I've never been much on small talk, I'll either talk your ear off on a topic of interest, or I'll just sit back and take a listen.  I've even been known to take a seat and "play possum".

Valet Parking:
As we get older, our body parts don't want to work like they used to.  A bottle of Aleve has become my new best friend.  When going to a restaurant, pull up to the curb, and let everyone out at the door, then go find the closest parking spot.  One advantage to this is your name gets put on the seating list a little sooner.

Thank you cards:
I will always remember my high school senior English teacher, Evelyn North.  She told us that as graduating seniors, we would be receiving gifts from friends and relatives.  She stated that is most proper to respond with a thank you card.  She reminded us, that when you are shopping for "thank you cards" remember that the "thank you" belongs inside of the card, not on front! She said to be sure to put something personal in the card, since the "giver" took the time to get you a gift, you in turn should take the time to offer a proper thank you.  I am always finding humor in the thank you cards we do get.  I find it odd that some young married couples don't even bother replying with a card.

Borrowing:
Me, I would rather go to the store and buy an item rather than ask a friend or neighbor if I could "borrow" theirs.  When I cook, I always make sure I have all the basic ingredients first.  What's up with borrowing an egg, a cup of sugar or flour?  Are these items ever returned?  Got a sister in law that has been nicknamed the "borrower", because the only time she comes over is to borrow something.  I have come to the conclusion that everything that gets borrowed needs a bungee cord attached so that it comes back in a timely manner.  More often than not, I find myself going to retrieve my stuff.  Must be where that old expression "possession is 9/10th of the law" came from!

Sit and Wait:
Seems like we have become a "hurry up, then wait" society.  You rush to the emergency room, only to wait to be seen.  You run to the next amusement ride, only to find a line with more curves than a water hose.  When I am at a restaurant, waiting for a table, I will give up my seat for a woman, old our young.  Give it a try.  Standing for 10-15 minutes is not a lifetime.

Remember to slow your pace down when you feel you are in a rush.  That traffic light will turn green again.  The elevator door will open again.  Life is good, take the time to enjoy it!

Tailgating Essentials

If you are going to a college football game this year, there are some things that are "essential" and other things, not so much.  Here is a list of a variety of the "essentials":


A food tent.  Really??  If its cooked right, smells right, then the flies go to some other tent!


Games are an optional pastime.  Me, I'm too busy taking in the sights, sounds, and smells of the day.  And the "bird watching" O M G!!!!!

A chafing dish is an absolute must.  This is the disposable version.  Good for keeping things hot, like Rotel, Pulled Pork, meatballs, jambalaya etc...  I have four keepers that are used all tailgate Saturday season long.


Drinks gotta be kept cold, and this is a pretty cool one.  Sista in law gave me one of these and it will be put to good use.

I'm planning on taking this bad boy to Oxford this weekend to see how it works out for tailgating.  Might even get a sale or two out of it.  Ya never know......


If you are going to tailgate, you have got to get yourself a tent.  No ordinary tent will do.  The top must represent your school colors, and be decked out in your finest party attire.  Table cloths, Chandiliers, TV's and satellite dishes are not a mainstay.  There are no strangers when it comes to tailgating, all starving college students are welcomed at these tables, since we all once a time or two in our youth.  Quite a few college kids are making a good living setting up and taking down these tents.  They are paid handsomely to secure the same spot week after week.

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A wheeled cooler and wagon are a must, if you are going to tailgate properly.  Parking is now at a premium, and reserved paid parking spots are now the norm.  This particular wagon fold up for ease of storing and transporting.  The only negative is that it kinda has a mind of its own and goes where it



What is a tailgate party without cups.  The "red solo cup" is legendary, but it is being replaced by cups imprinted with a variety of things.  Plus, they hold your favorite adult beverage....
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With all the hoopla on campus, it is inevitable that gravity will kick in.  There is no way that the facilities on campus can accommodate the crowd.  Universities have begun adding  port-a-johns and portable bathrooms like this one found at Ole Miss:


There are also companies that will set you up with a complete tailgate package for over $3,000 per year. 


The tailgating season has just begun so you still have time to get your essentials in order.  If you make it to Oxford or Starkville, look me and the spousal unit up.  We have tickets for both!

Life is good.  Get out there and enjoy it!

Timesharing, it ain't what it used to be!

Ok, admit it, you have been on one of their special deal vacation trips, or you own one but don't like to admit either in public. After all us Weems kids were outta da house, all of a sudden the parental units began taking all sorts of trips to destinations us chill'n have never seen.  They have been to Branson Missouri numerous times, Nashville, Atlanta and all parts in between.   Several years went by before I finally asked the question, "how the hell can you afford these trips when you never took us anywhere"?  The answer my friend was blowing in the wind, "Timeshare vacation specials" was the answer.  These had run their course, as my short tempered Pop had gotten tired of saying "NO"!

Our first experience with timeshares was in New Orleans, during the Worlds Fair.  Back then, we lived from paycheck to paycheck.  Attending a "World's Fair" was something that was on our bucket list.  We rode the gondola ride across the mighty Mississippi, and even paid to see the exhibit that the Pope had sent over.  That was probably the only exhibit that broke even.  The Riverwalk Mall is now where the fair sat those many years ago.  We were at the Jackson Square, and we were approached to take a "free" buggy ride.  Being low on entertained dollars, why not?  Off we went, eventually ending up on the far side of Esplanade.  We were dropped off at a start up timeshare on a side street on the backside of the French Quarter.  It was raining, so we went ahead and stepped inside.  We heard the usual spill, then were shuffled off to the sales room.  A sales person would suddenly stick his head in the door, interrupt our little meeting, and yell "unit 6, week 32 sold!"   We both went OMG! How do we get outta here!  We said no the required numbered of times, then we were escorted to the front door and handed the free "art work" gift we had heard something about.  Those two cheap posters became out umbrella on our way back to the square.  We swore, never again!

 We  were committed to give our children trips that were beyond our families reach when we were growing up.  Through last year, we have taken them on an annual vacation trip.  Many of our trips have included Orlando as a destination.  There is so much to do down there that we have never been bored going.  Well, the spousal unit takes a phone call from Hilton, offering us a vacation trip to Orlando.  We thought what the heck, and combined it with hotel honor points to stretch it into a week.  Changing rooms and hotels would be no biggie.  We get the paper work, and discover that it turns out this was a timeshare trip, of shit, memories of New Orleans!

We enjoyed our stay, and did the "tour" on the last day before departure.  Turns out, the industry was getting away from lifetime set weeks and was moving to a point system which added more flexibility.  They got us, hook, line and sinker.  I liked it so much that I have bought additional points on the "aftermarket".  The timeshare salespeople call them "black market points"  because they get cheated out of a sale.

We have used our timeshare for around ten years and have enjoyed it each time.  The spousal unit has a love affair going on for the "Redneck Riviera".  This year we  used the RCI exchange to stay in the Destin and Panama City area, her slice of heaven.  The units we stayed in offered a "free week" for a 90 minute tour of Wyndham Vacation Club.  Wyndham has bought out Fairfield and several others, and they had lots of units in this area.  We swallowed the bait and got hooked.

We are now the proud owners of a Wyndham Vacation Plan.  I tried to low ball them as much as I could, to minimize the initial investment.  The initial deal was WAY out of the ballpark.  Later I went to the aftermarket to add to out annual point allotment.  The deal included the "free week", two RCI exchange weeks for $249 each, and an allotment of "bonus points".

I began working on 2014 vacation plans.  I discovered that the "free week" was good for a year, but the reservation window was within a 45 day window from the date of the inquiry and subject to availability, in other words no long term plan for this free bee, plus nothing available on the Florida panhandle, bummer!  I called the RCI number for the RCI exchange weeks today, September 1, 2014.  I go through five minutes of telephone prompts and eventually get Segar Singh, the only Indian answering the phone today.  In his proper English, he informs me "oh, that office isn't open today or tomorrow".  I am informed that Tuesday would be my best bet.  After examining the certificate, the Florida panhandle is not available except in the fall, bummer number two!

I guess I can wait till Tuesday.  Like they say, time sharing, it ain't what it used to be!  You put lipstick on a pig, its still a pig!  We thoroughly enjoy our Hilton timeshare, and we will soon be enjoying our Wyndham timeshare, but for some reason, I feel like I have just gone through the process of buying another used car.  To you timeshare sales people out there, "a spoonful of sugar sure helps the medicine go down!"

Tailgating, Its all about the food!

Now that the first weekend of College Football has arrived, its now time to think about your food menus for the first home game weekend.  Here is just a small sample of food that can't go wrong:

Rotel Dip:

There are several versions of the recipe, including using cream cheese, but I like the old standby:


  Take a block of Velveeta, add a can of Rotel tomatoes,   melt the cheese and mix it all together and a bag of chips and you have you some happy college kids.  I like to throw in some Jimmy Dean's hot sausage in mine.  Use a chafing dish to keep the dip warm.

Chicken Strips and Nuggets:  I swear, ever since McDonalds started fusing those chicken parts together, this has become a tailgate staple.  And with all the hormones that the chicken farmers put in the feed, there has been some pleasant side effects.  I have never seen so many young ladies with such big bosoms in my life.  These things didn't exist during my college days!

Chick fil A is a college kid favorite

Zaxby's can be found in most college towns

Deviled Eggs:

I don't know what it is about these that make them so attractive to tailgaters.  September game days are some of the hottest days for a picnic.  These things need to be kept cool for fear of food poisoning.  I've never seen anyone get sick, must be all of the alcohol being consumed!

 

 

Sausage Balls:

Pickup food at its finest!

 

Like her or not, here is Paula Deen's recipe:

Ingredients:

• 1 (1-pound) package ground sausage
• 3 cups baking mix (recommended: Bisquick)
• 4 cups grated sharp Cheddar
• 1/8 tablespoon pepper

 

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Spray a baking sheet with vegetable oil cooking spray.  Combine all ingredients in a large glass bowl. Mix well with your fingers. The mixture will be very crumbly. Form into 1 inch balls, squeezing the mixture so it holds together, then rolling it between the palms of your hands to form balls.  Place the balls on the baking sheet. Bake for 18 to 20 minutes or until golden brown. To prevent sticking, move the balls with a spatula halfway through cooking.
 

Cheese Trays:

Easy, easy, easy.  Your grocery store deli, even Wally World, can fix you right up!

 

Deli Sammaches:

Slice it and dice it and slap it on some bread.  Ham, turkey, roast beef, or what ever else suits your fancy.  Just give the local Subway shop a holler and they will fix you up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

or, get fancy and make your own.  Here are some pretty fancy mini muffaletta's.  Careful with the mayonnaise, kinda like those deviled eggs discussed earlier.

 

 

 

 Pulled Pork BBQ:

 

This is one of those things that's so good it will make you want to slap your momma!  This is defined as follows:

       "When you try some new food that tastes so delicious it makes you wonder "why can't my mom   cook this well?". This thought makes you so angry that you feel like slapping your mom for feeding you mediocre food."

 Need I say more?

 

 

Meatballs:

Anything you can stick a toothpick in is a good thang.  If there is one thing that can piss of a southern woman, is a man picking up food with his fingers!

 

Chicken Salad:

 

 

Don't know what it is, but this stuff is good any way you want to serve it.  I have figured out the simplest recipe that is quick and easy and everyone seems to love and its just four ingredients: 

grocery store rotisserie chicken, cup of diced green grapes,  a cup of chopped walnuts, and enough mayonnaise to pull it all together.  Most southern ladies wound cringe at the thought of putting "dark meat" in their chicken salad.  But hey, ya gotta stretch things today.  The rotisserie chicken is already cooked and is usually seasoned up pretty good.  Just pull off all of the meat, chop it as fine as you like, and the grapes and walnuts, and mix well. Add enough mayo to pull it all together.  I'm not much on sweet pickle or celery, but sometimes minced celery gets in there to please the spousal unit.

 

Hope I've gotten your taste buds a stirring.  Happy tailgating!