Yep! This this is blog post number 300. Kinda ironic that I'm making this milestone post on today, September 28th! My special day of the year, and I'm sharing it with you! This is number 59!
I worked for over 35 years before one day I was told "this isn't working, so I'm eliminating your position." It wasn't because I wasn't doing my job. I was good at what I did. After 30 years you know your stuff inside and out. That was 3.5 years ago. I haven't looked back since!
I attended countless training sessions through all of those years and I learned that I truly had something missing in my life. I had worked to live, to take care of my wonderful wife and raise two boys. There was no time to refine a hobby, since we had a mortgage to pay for and college educations to save for, and hopefully enough to be able to take a nice vacation every year.
I had devoted my life the those three most important people in my life. Supporting Lanelle in her career was number one. Following Matthew through high school band activities was number two. Making sure that Morgan had everything he needed to succeed playing select soccer was number three.
It seemed I never took time for me. This has never been an issue with me because I was always busy making time for the other three. Buy still, through the years I knew something was missing.
Around my 53rd birthday I was in yet another one of those work related self help seminars. The question of the day was "what are your personal goals?" Gee, I'd never had any, since I was all caught up in my other three priorities. LaNelle was now settled in her latest career move. The boys were almost done with with high school and wrapping up college.
I took some time to look deep into myself, trying to discover what my personal goals should be? This was very difficult for me because it was always about "we"!
Then it hits me. It has been there all along, but I had just been far too busy to see it. The vision for my personal goals was now crystal clear: "bring a little happiness into somebody else's life each and every day!" This is pretty simplistic, so obvious, but it was the real me, and it has been there all the time right under my nose!
I knew there were issues with my boss, and I had worried myself sick about it for several years. After I had my revelation, these issues didn't matter anymore. Do your job, do it well, and the rest will take care of itself.
During the fall of 2011, I had resolved to myself that the job could no longer rule me. I must take over. I continued to perform my duties to the best of my abilites. Unfortunately this was not good enough for the man in charge. I decided it was time. As soon as I wrapped up the current year end, I would begin my search for new employment. Then, on February 17th at 4:25 in the afternoon, I was informed that that was my last day.
The first few minutes I was in shock, but then the true reality began to set in, I was now FREE! I was handed and envelope and told to leave. I did, and I haven't looked back!
Today is my 59th birthday and I'm here to celebrate it with family and friends like you! Facebook and this blog have been two of my outlets for reaching my personal goal of bringing a little bit of happiness to someone every day. I hope that I have succeeded and brought you a little sunshine your way. It sure beats carrying that dark cloud around that never seem to disappear.
So this post 300. Now you know why i take the time to write these postings of mine. Now you know why i spend so much time of FB. It is my hope that I have occasionally succeeded in my goal. This is a wonderful day that God has made. Get out there and enjoy it. It's on me!
Retired in 2012. I'm trying to out run old age and boredom. So far, I'm winning the race!
Monday, September 28, 2015
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Another Great Day on a Football Saturday in Oxford
Well, alrighty! It's was another fun roadie trip to Oxford town with the Spousal Unit to see her Rebels in action. Left home after nine in the morning and got home a little after two. Yep! I'm feeling it now, and it will take a day or two to recover, but hey, the things you do for the love of the game!
This would be the first roadie trip to Oxford in the Spousal's unit new ride. I read the manual this week and found more innovative technology features to try. I discovered that if you Bluetooth connected your phone to the car, the girlfriend under the hood could display your text messages on the video screen and play them back to you.
We are on hwy 43, going the back way to I55. I ask the Spousal unit to send me a text. Sure enough, the girlfriend under the hood picks up the text and displays "you have a text" on the screen. I come to a stop at the next red light, and with my foot on the break, I push the buttons to near the playback of the text message. Well, the girlfriend under the hood announces "keep your eyes on the road".
At this point, I'm thinking WTH! How does this car know I'm in the road since my foot is on the break? Thinking quickly, we are still at the redlight, so I push the park button and then hit the replay button. Again, I get the message over the speaker, "keep your eyes on the road". You gotta be kidding me! The car is in park for God's sake! Then it hits me, that was the message that the spousal unit sent! We both laughed til our stomachs hurt and agreed that was the best gotcha from her for all time!
We finally made it to our destination of Oxford and took the Lamar Avenue exit. Traffic was backed up for blocks, but it was only noon, with a 6:00 kickoff, what the heck??? Nobody was going anywhere fast. I took a chance and traveled the nonexistent turn lane all the way up to University Avenue, passing at least 30 cars. Well duh! They were all headed to the Oxford Square, the Mecca of Rebel Nation! Me, I just turned left and we were unloading in no time at all!
The corn hole game was set up for all to enjoy. One of our little critter buddies asked me if it was ok if he and his dad could play. Observing that he was quite young, jokingly I said "sure, but you have to be at least 14 to play". He gave be one of those puzzled looks, then blurted out "I'm 14!" His Dad got a good laugh outta that, telling me that his current age was 13! We both had that look on our face, that we both knew what he would be doing once he got to town later in life as a freshmen-"Library!" They were both serious corn holers, only counting the throws that went through the hole!
My father-in-law arrived and took his place in the middle of the semicircle of chairs. I took the seat next to him and we began catching up on the hot topics of the day. After a while, he announced that he was gonna turn his chair around because he was missing all the action. One thing both he and i have in common is that we're both still boys inside! We laughed at the passerby's that got busted for carrying cases of beer. It was so funny to see these two older guys get taken down carrying a twelve pack in one hand and a bag of ice in the other. They gave up the beer but weren't giving up on the ice!
My father-in-law, then made the observation "you know, the skirts keep getting shorter and shorter!" I said, yep, back in your day this would be scandalous! He commented that in the 1950's if a coed had gym class she would have to wear her outfit under a full length coat to walk across campus. Yep, times sure have changed!
A bunch of us guys were standing around doing our bird watching when one of our party spotted a chic prancing down the street coming our way. All males were on chic alert! Got her on radar!, tall, blonde, slender, wearing one of the skimpy outfits of the day. Turns out she was a friend of one of our female party and she stopped to chat. All of our man crew stopped and looked at each other. The closer the chic got, the sooner we discovered she was more mother hen material, and quite underfed! We all said whoops!, eyesight failure!!! That's why we call it window shopping! Never buy till you have tried it on!
It was finally time to make our way toward the stadium. I walked solo while the spousal unit took the ADA taxi with her Dad. I woulda rode too, but gravity was kicking in and I knew some port-o-john were right around the corner. As a woman was exiting, I made my entrance. How a woman can take a seat in one of these and do her business is beyond me! I could hear kids playing behind my particular unit. They were playing tag. All of a sudden my unit went bam!, it was home base. They don't make these things like they used to. Those kids had the whole unit rocking everytime they tagged it. My biggest fear at this point was a tidal splash back! Needless to say, I exited quickly!
I met up with my party and we make our way to our seats. Paw-n-law takes his seat and I look down to find only enough room for one of my cheeks to land. Now I'm hoping my neighbor is a no show or at least tee tiny! I look over at paw-in-law and he is sitting there spread eagle, with his legs wide-open! I'm thinking it must be because of his two new knees and one new hip! That, or the reseating has claimed more territory for more seat numbers! Thank God for sending me a tiny to for a neighbor on this night. I shared my peanuts as a thank you!
I noticed we had a young cutie pie Vandy fan sitting amongst us. She had captured my fancy as she made her way back an forth during the game. Then, during one pass, I noticed her wedding ring finger. That was the biggest wedding ring I had ever seen! The fella she married sitting next to her now had my sympathies! Maintence, HIGH maintence! Good luck young man!
Game over, rebellion won, now back to the tailgate tent to pack up. Traffic was gonna be one way for quite awhile. How in the hell am I going to get a loaded wagon and a 150 pound corn hole game to the car. Where there's a will there is a way!
This would be the first roadie trip to Oxford in the Spousal's unit new ride. I read the manual this week and found more innovative technology features to try. I discovered that if you Bluetooth connected your phone to the car, the girlfriend under the hood could display your text messages on the video screen and play them back to you.
We are on hwy 43, going the back way to I55. I ask the Spousal unit to send me a text. Sure enough, the girlfriend under the hood picks up the text and displays "you have a text" on the screen. I come to a stop at the next red light, and with my foot on the break, I push the buttons to near the playback of the text message. Well, the girlfriend under the hood announces "keep your eyes on the road".
At this point, I'm thinking WTH! How does this car know I'm in the road since my foot is on the break? Thinking quickly, we are still at the redlight, so I push the park button and then hit the replay button. Again, I get the message over the speaker, "keep your eyes on the road". You gotta be kidding me! The car is in park for God's sake! Then it hits me, that was the message that the spousal unit sent! We both laughed til our stomachs hurt and agreed that was the best gotcha from her for all time!
We finally made it to our destination of Oxford and took the Lamar Avenue exit. Traffic was backed up for blocks, but it was only noon, with a 6:00 kickoff, what the heck??? Nobody was going anywhere fast. I took a chance and traveled the nonexistent turn lane all the way up to University Avenue, passing at least 30 cars. Well duh! They were all headed to the Oxford Square, the Mecca of Rebel Nation! Me, I just turned left and we were unloading in no time at all!
The corn hole game was set up for all to enjoy. One of our little critter buddies asked me if it was ok if he and his dad could play. Observing that he was quite young, jokingly I said "sure, but you have to be at least 14 to play". He gave be one of those puzzled looks, then blurted out "I'm 14!" His Dad got a good laugh outta that, telling me that his current age was 13! We both had that look on our face, that we both knew what he would be doing once he got to town later in life as a freshmen-"Library!" They were both serious corn holers, only counting the throws that went through the hole!
My father-in-law arrived and took his place in the middle of the semicircle of chairs. I took the seat next to him and we began catching up on the hot topics of the day. After a while, he announced that he was gonna turn his chair around because he was missing all the action. One thing both he and i have in common is that we're both still boys inside! We laughed at the passerby's that got busted for carrying cases of beer. It was so funny to see these two older guys get taken down carrying a twelve pack in one hand and a bag of ice in the other. They gave up the beer but weren't giving up on the ice!
My father-in-law, then made the observation "you know, the skirts keep getting shorter and shorter!" I said, yep, back in your day this would be scandalous! He commented that in the 1950's if a coed had gym class she would have to wear her outfit under a full length coat to walk across campus. Yep, times sure have changed!
A bunch of us guys were standing around doing our bird watching when one of our party spotted a chic prancing down the street coming our way. All males were on chic alert! Got her on radar!, tall, blonde, slender, wearing one of the skimpy outfits of the day. Turns out she was a friend of one of our female party and she stopped to chat. All of our man crew stopped and looked at each other. The closer the chic got, the sooner we discovered she was more mother hen material, and quite underfed! We all said whoops!, eyesight failure!!! That's why we call it window shopping! Never buy till you have tried it on!
It was finally time to make our way toward the stadium. I walked solo while the spousal unit took the ADA taxi with her Dad. I woulda rode too, but gravity was kicking in and I knew some port-o-john were right around the corner. As a woman was exiting, I made my entrance. How a woman can take a seat in one of these and do her business is beyond me! I could hear kids playing behind my particular unit. They were playing tag. All of a sudden my unit went bam!, it was home base. They don't make these things like they used to. Those kids had the whole unit rocking everytime they tagged it. My biggest fear at this point was a tidal splash back! Needless to say, I exited quickly!
I met up with my party and we make our way to our seats. Paw-n-law takes his seat and I look down to find only enough room for one of my cheeks to land. Now I'm hoping my neighbor is a no show or at least tee tiny! I look over at paw-in-law and he is sitting there spread eagle, with his legs wide-open! I'm thinking it must be because of his two new knees and one new hip! That, or the reseating has claimed more territory for more seat numbers! Thank God for sending me a tiny to for a neighbor on this night. I shared my peanuts as a thank you!
I noticed we had a young cutie pie Vandy fan sitting amongst us. She had captured my fancy as she made her way back an forth during the game. Then, during one pass, I noticed her wedding ring finger. That was the biggest wedding ring I had ever seen! The fella she married sitting next to her now had my sympathies! Maintence, HIGH maintence! Good luck young man!
Game over, rebellion won, now back to the tailgate tent to pack up. Traffic was gonna be one way for quite awhile. How in the hell am I going to get a loaded wagon and a 150 pound corn hole game to the car. Where there's a will there is a way!
In a couple of days I'll be ready for the next one. Lucky me! It's in Gainesville, Florida!
Friday, September 25, 2015
Flashbacks
I've reached the golden age of 50+ with one more year remaining. The two boys are now adults and are beginning to venture out on their own. The Spousal Unit and I are now closer that ever, with me sharing in lots of her work days as the chauffeur of the rich and famous. Got lots of time on my hands during the down times to think back of the roads we have travelled together. In no particular order....
1. I used to get all huffy and puffy on travel days. It never failed, the spousal unit would forget to tell me where to turn, and I would get lost, or spend forever back tracking to eventually reach our destination. This was of course before smartass phones with google maps. Along came Dora the Explorer, the GPS! This little contraption literally saved our marriage. The spousal unit once said "how come you always would get mad at me, but you never get mad at her?!!!" I replied, "simple, my dear, Dora has a comeback for a missed turn, "recalculating!""
2. As a young buck, it seemed like I could drive forever, only needing to stop for a tank of gas. Drink refills and potty breaks were included as a three for one, back in those days. Now, we have to stop for gas, we stop for meals, we even stop for emergency potty breaks. The Spousal Unit's new car has all the old and some of the latest features I would have never considered paying for in the past.
The car has memory seat settings for driver #1 and drive #2. You don't have to push the button, because the car senses which key fob is in the driver's seat, and automatically moves into the proper setting. The steering features settings that keep the car in the current traffic lane and will even steer itself in a curve. The cruise feature will keep the car several car lengths behind the car in front of you. The voice command system only listens to the voice in the driver's seat, almost the next generation Dora! The car will of course answer your phone, and now will even display your text messages on the video screen! The only feature missing is a built in urinal!
3. Bladder control is a thing of the past. Now, when Fred hears water running, he goes into automatic pilot, "Run, do not stop, until we have reached a urinal destination!" I knew it was eventually gonna happen. I've always taken pride knowing I had good water pressure. The early signs of aging hit me when the boys were young. While on a roadie trip, we made a pit stop on the side of the road at a rural intersection. The boys and I got out. I gave the order "Ok, lets see who can hit the stop sign?" I barely was able to reach the pole, while both boys went over the top!
4. Growing up and learning how to cook, I would ask my Dad about a favorite recipe. His reply would all ways be, "You follow the basic recipe, and add a little of this, and a little of that". Being an accountant by training, this would drive me nuts. Finally he would dictate those special recipes for me to put down on paper, "a bottle of this, a 1/4 bottle of that, an pinch of salt......" Dad! what SIZE bottle! I still use same measurements, but now I'm modifying them as best I can to include ounces, my gift to the next generation of Weems Boys doing the cooking. (Also loading them into an Excel spreadsheet)
5. In the early years, vacations were "all out!" Nonstop from early morning till midnight, each and every day. It was nothing to have two or three blisters on each foot. Vacations were special, we only had seven days, and I was bound and determined to not waist a minute. Then Father Time began creeping up on me. I used to fear no ride, I would tackle them all, at least once, showing no fear to the boys and the Spousal Unit. Father time has not been good to me. Now I take my place on the park bench with all the other former green faced, stomach turning devotees of coaster madness. My ultimate sadness was the day I was too big for the Harry Potter Ride at Universal. All of us rejected subjects had one thought in mind, "if they only made the seat bigger....." And now there is a new ride in Potterville. I wonder, will I succumb to the same fate as the other......
6. When the boys were young, I would stay busy in the kitchen during Holiday season baking cookies and gingerbread men for them to take to school and share with their homeroom. Then they hit the age where the Dad message was "sorry Dad, but I'm not going to be seen taking cookies and gingerbread men into school!" The cookie cutters have laid dormant for quite a few years. A new generation of babies are coming along, and now, with the power FB, people of my generation are messaging me "I want some too!" Now I'm playing around with coloring and flavoring royal icing as an added touch.
7. Seemed like for a bunch of years, the only thing that our boys would eat came in the "Happy Meals" bag from McD's, in the form of chicken McNuggets. By the time the boys got to High School, it w.as all about McAlisters. Forget those fast food burger joints! Now its all about specialty foodie shops and Sushi! Our last visit to a Sushi Restaurant in Oxford yielded us a complementary appetizer, shot of sake, and some sushi tacos! Oh and a tab of well over $100!
8. When the Spousal unit was in College, tailgating consisted of popping open the trunk, and enjoying a bucket of Colonel Sanders finest! Now, fees are paid for tent and table setups. Fans come in droves pulling one of those wagons that have a mind of their own. Chicken no longer has a bone in it, and it comes in a variety of flavors. The status symbols of tailgating, 1. Tent in team colors, 2. Honda Generator, 3. maximum size flat screen tv, and 4. whatcha drinking? We're now up to microbrews and frozen margaritas!
9. My good neighbor Kevin has a rule, the five finger rule. First you get a high school diploma, second, a college degree. Third come a good paying job. Fourth comes marriage, and fifth, if you're lucky, babies in multiples. Back in my day, the little old ladies of the church would start the clock from the time you got married to the day of the birth. Their afternoon teas would be full of discussion of who was early, who was on time, and who, God forbid, would have none. Now, good luck on the five finger rule. And, the days of wondering, will it be a boy, or a girl are now history. Its all about "gender parties", and I wonder if they will ever get married?????
10. Its kinda funny. When you think about flashbacks, the old phrase "what goes around, comes around." We spent many a vacation with the boys going to amusement parks. Disney, Universal, Bush Gardens, Sea World, and several Six Flags locations. most have been visited several times, so much so, that the boys had had enough. Well guess what? Heading back! The girly friends have never been or not as much! Here we go again! Park bench, I'm coming for ya!
1. I used to get all huffy and puffy on travel days. It never failed, the spousal unit would forget to tell me where to turn, and I would get lost, or spend forever back tracking to eventually reach our destination. This was of course before smartass phones with google maps. Along came Dora the Explorer, the GPS! This little contraption literally saved our marriage. The spousal unit once said "how come you always would get mad at me, but you never get mad at her?!!!" I replied, "simple, my dear, Dora has a comeback for a missed turn, "recalculating!""
2. As a young buck, it seemed like I could drive forever, only needing to stop for a tank of gas. Drink refills and potty breaks were included as a three for one, back in those days. Now, we have to stop for gas, we stop for meals, we even stop for emergency potty breaks. The Spousal Unit's new car has all the old and some of the latest features I would have never considered paying for in the past.
The car has memory seat settings for driver #1 and drive #2. You don't have to push the button, because the car senses which key fob is in the driver's seat, and automatically moves into the proper setting. The steering features settings that keep the car in the current traffic lane and will even steer itself in a curve. The cruise feature will keep the car several car lengths behind the car in front of you. The voice command system only listens to the voice in the driver's seat, almost the next generation Dora! The car will of course answer your phone, and now will even display your text messages on the video screen! The only feature missing is a built in urinal!
3. Bladder control is a thing of the past. Now, when Fred hears water running, he goes into automatic pilot, "Run, do not stop, until we have reached a urinal destination!" I knew it was eventually gonna happen. I've always taken pride knowing I had good water pressure. The early signs of aging hit me when the boys were young. While on a roadie trip, we made a pit stop on the side of the road at a rural intersection. The boys and I got out. I gave the order "Ok, lets see who can hit the stop sign?" I barely was able to reach the pole, while both boys went over the top!
4. Growing up and learning how to cook, I would ask my Dad about a favorite recipe. His reply would all ways be, "You follow the basic recipe, and add a little of this, and a little of that". Being an accountant by training, this would drive me nuts. Finally he would dictate those special recipes for me to put down on paper, "a bottle of this, a 1/4 bottle of that, an pinch of salt......" Dad! what SIZE bottle! I still use same measurements, but now I'm modifying them as best I can to include ounces, my gift to the next generation of Weems Boys doing the cooking. (Also loading them into an Excel spreadsheet)
5. In the early years, vacations were "all out!" Nonstop from early morning till midnight, each and every day. It was nothing to have two or three blisters on each foot. Vacations were special, we only had seven days, and I was bound and determined to not waist a minute. Then Father Time began creeping up on me. I used to fear no ride, I would tackle them all, at least once, showing no fear to the boys and the Spousal Unit. Father time has not been good to me. Now I take my place on the park bench with all the other former green faced, stomach turning devotees of coaster madness. My ultimate sadness was the day I was too big for the Harry Potter Ride at Universal. All of us rejected subjects had one thought in mind, "if they only made the seat bigger....." And now there is a new ride in Potterville. I wonder, will I succumb to the same fate as the other......
6. When the boys were young, I would stay busy in the kitchen during Holiday season baking cookies and gingerbread men for them to take to school and share with their homeroom. Then they hit the age where the Dad message was "sorry Dad, but I'm not going to be seen taking cookies and gingerbread men into school!" The cookie cutters have laid dormant for quite a few years. A new generation of babies are coming along, and now, with the power FB, people of my generation are messaging me "I want some too!" Now I'm playing around with coloring and flavoring royal icing as an added touch.
7. Seemed like for a bunch of years, the only thing that our boys would eat came in the "Happy Meals" bag from McD's, in the form of chicken McNuggets. By the time the boys got to High School, it w.as all about McAlisters. Forget those fast food burger joints! Now its all about specialty foodie shops and Sushi! Our last visit to a Sushi Restaurant in Oxford yielded us a complementary appetizer, shot of sake, and some sushi tacos! Oh and a tab of well over $100!
8. When the Spousal unit was in College, tailgating consisted of popping open the trunk, and enjoying a bucket of Colonel Sanders finest! Now, fees are paid for tent and table setups. Fans come in droves pulling one of those wagons that have a mind of their own. Chicken no longer has a bone in it, and it comes in a variety of flavors. The status symbols of tailgating, 1. Tent in team colors, 2. Honda Generator, 3. maximum size flat screen tv, and 4. whatcha drinking? We're now up to microbrews and frozen margaritas!
9. My good neighbor Kevin has a rule, the five finger rule. First you get a high school diploma, second, a college degree. Third come a good paying job. Fourth comes marriage, and fifth, if you're lucky, babies in multiples. Back in my day, the little old ladies of the church would start the clock from the time you got married to the day of the birth. Their afternoon teas would be full of discussion of who was early, who was on time, and who, God forbid, would have none. Now, good luck on the five finger rule. And, the days of wondering, will it be a boy, or a girl are now history. Its all about "gender parties", and I wonder if they will ever get married?????
10. Its kinda funny. When you think about flashbacks, the old phrase "what goes around, comes around." We spent many a vacation with the boys going to amusement parks. Disney, Universal, Bush Gardens, Sea World, and several Six Flags locations. most have been visited several times, so much so, that the boys had had enough. Well guess what? Heading back! The girly friends have never been or not as much! Here we go again! Park bench, I'm coming for ya!
You Know Its Time
Sometimes you have to be hit over the head. Sometimes it comes in a phone call, a text, or even an email. But every now and then you just know...
1. When that car you love so much starts making regular visits to the repair shop, you know its time to start dating its sister or cousin...
2. When you call your son and after a few minutes you hear "well, I gotta go..." you know that special bond you had has been trumped by another
3. When you have three dogs in the bed with you and they start jumping and licking, you know its just a matter of time before all four of you are peeing in the back yard.....
4. When the back of your head begins to sweat when you are eating hot wings, you know its time to take the sauce down a notch
5. When you are in the reading room and your legs have gone to sleep, you know its time for a handicap toilet
6. When you go to the Kroger and you're doing self checkout and the register is now speaking Spanish, you know its time to be less distracted by the cutie pie at the next register
7. When you receive three separate notices from paypal that three of your transactions have been cancelled or voided for lack of inventory, you know its time to turn off the computer and go build something or cut the grass....
8. When the dogs start bringing you their food bowl, you know its time for a refill
9. When you start googling royal icing technics and see what others are charging for their work, you know its time to scale back your intentions to the labor of love that it is!
10. When the Doctor forgets to tell you to "bend over" you know its time to thank God for the small pleasures in life
11. When the conversation has switched over to the price of gasoline at the pump, you know you have become your father-in-law
12. When you have lived in your house for over 20 years and the spousal unit is constantly watching those house flipping shows, you know its time for more dinner dates
13. When you have put your underwear on backwards more times than you can remember because they no longer put a tag on the back side, you know its time for one brand, one color, and boxers thank you very much!
14. When doggie treats are in the oven and the the timer goes off, and the pups are already at the oven door, looking at you like "aren't you coming???" it may be time to change up your routine, just a bit!
15. When you have been a die hard MSU Dawg fan, and you just "ordered and paid for" tickets to see Ole Miss vs FL in Gainesville, you know its time. I bought my first Hat with "TSUN" on it. But hey, it was only $5, I liked the color (charcoal grey), and I can rip the patch off at any minute!
1. When that car you love so much starts making regular visits to the repair shop, you know its time to start dating its sister or cousin...
2. When you call your son and after a few minutes you hear "well, I gotta go..." you know that special bond you had has been trumped by another
3. When you have three dogs in the bed with you and they start jumping and licking, you know its just a matter of time before all four of you are peeing in the back yard.....
4. When the back of your head begins to sweat when you are eating hot wings, you know its time to take the sauce down a notch
5. When you are in the reading room and your legs have gone to sleep, you know its time for a handicap toilet
6. When you go to the Kroger and you're doing self checkout and the register is now speaking Spanish, you know its time to be less distracted by the cutie pie at the next register
7. When you receive three separate notices from paypal that three of your transactions have been cancelled or voided for lack of inventory, you know its time to turn off the computer and go build something or cut the grass....
8. When the dogs start bringing you their food bowl, you know its time for a refill
9. When you start googling royal icing technics and see what others are charging for their work, you know its time to scale back your intentions to the labor of love that it is!
10. When the Doctor forgets to tell you to "bend over" you know its time to thank God for the small pleasures in life
11. When the conversation has switched over to the price of gasoline at the pump, you know you have become your father-in-law
12. When you have lived in your house for over 20 years and the spousal unit is constantly watching those house flipping shows, you know its time for more dinner dates
13. When you have put your underwear on backwards more times than you can remember because they no longer put a tag on the back side, you know its time for one brand, one color, and boxers thank you very much!
14. When doggie treats are in the oven and the the timer goes off, and the pups are already at the oven door, looking at you like "aren't you coming???" it may be time to change up your routine, just a bit!
15. When you have been a die hard MSU Dawg fan, and you just "ordered and paid for" tickets to see Ole Miss vs FL in Gainesville, you know its time. I bought my first Hat with "TSUN" on it. But hey, it was only $5, I liked the color (charcoal grey), and I can rip the patch off at any minute!
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Thank You's on a Football Saturday
Yesterday was another football Saturday for the record books. I woke up with excitement for the day and was not disappointed. Other than being at the beach, football Saturdays are absolutely my favorite times of the year. On this morning after, it's time to say a few thank you's to those that made it so great!
1. Thank you KFC Starkville for opening at 9:30 instead of 10:00 so I could pick up some of your fabulous Cole slaw to go with our pulled pork sammaches. The Louisville KFK-TACO Bell was locked up tighter than a drum during our drive by. Not one breakfast burrito could be seen, much less a chicken fry cook on this day!
2. Thank you to the event staff worker that wouldn't let me pass for a close up drop off spot. You were quite entertaining to the spousal unit as I hauled our stuff the last 30 yards to pay dirt. The guy was scheduled to work his station from 5:30 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. in all that heat. You have got to love those fans that abuse the courtesy of unloading by not moving your car from these premium spots. We all are now paying for your indescretion.
3. Thank you passerby girly friend for toting your load. It's an awesome sight to see a coed all decked out in her finest, while holding up her end of a fully loaded Yeti cooler. Boyfriend, time for you to get a wagon or dolly for future games. Betting that girlfriend could beat most guys in an arm wrestling contest!
4. Thank you to your female guest at our tailgate for wearing that dress of yours with the revealing neckline. After quizzing all the guys, one could recall the color or your eyes and only two got your hair color right!
5. Thank you to the older gentleman parading with through the junction with the American flag and placard asking "what happened to the color guard presentation" before kickoff. It made me take notice in the stadium that you are right, "where in the hell was the color guard?"
6. Thank you MSU for allowing fans to bring bottled water into the stadium. The discounted price on purchases of water was a nice touch too. I still paid the higher price to another vendor because the line was much shorter.
7. Thank you to the stadium maintenance crew for such a clean event location. You might want to give the asphalt paving company a call before the next home game. People, including myself, we're tripping on all the loose pieces of asphalt that have popped loose on the visitor side!
8. Thank you to man cub's girly friend for the entertainment. The look on my son's face was priceless when you announced that you had left your student ID in your backpack that was left at the condo! Tuff to get into the stadium without your eticket that is on your ID! Thank you bulldog fan for selling 2 tickets for $10!
9. Thank you to "Stump" for being the friend to help take down our tailgate stuff and getting it to the car. That was a life saver, and both man cub and I appreciated your help!
10. Thank you Sonic for having that slush machine. Those two large cups of this frozen treat was just what the doctor ordered for the ride home.
11. Thank you Susan and Beau for hosting the Ole Miss vs Bamer game at your new house. The food was great and the company was outstanding, even if I was the only Bulldawg in the house!
12. Thank you Vickie for your excitement during that touchdown with your splashdown. I've never seen a woman get that excited! Glad the couch was scotch guarded! Tinkle! Tinkle! Lol!
13. Thank you Alabama fans for those looks of shock when your team was down by 20. It's a shame all those fans headed to the parking lot early. They missed quite a shootout!
14. Thank you social media. FB makes sharing victory and defeat so much sweeter! Being able to share the game experience with our tailgater friend across the State during the game was sweet!
15. And most of all, I am thankful to be able to do it all over again this coming Saturday! Let the food menu planning begin!!!
1. Thank you KFC Starkville for opening at 9:30 instead of 10:00 so I could pick up some of your fabulous Cole slaw to go with our pulled pork sammaches. The Louisville KFK-TACO Bell was locked up tighter than a drum during our drive by. Not one breakfast burrito could be seen, much less a chicken fry cook on this day!
2. Thank you to the event staff worker that wouldn't let me pass for a close up drop off spot. You were quite entertaining to the spousal unit as I hauled our stuff the last 30 yards to pay dirt. The guy was scheduled to work his station from 5:30 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. in all that heat. You have got to love those fans that abuse the courtesy of unloading by not moving your car from these premium spots. We all are now paying for your indescretion.
3. Thank you passerby girly friend for toting your load. It's an awesome sight to see a coed all decked out in her finest, while holding up her end of a fully loaded Yeti cooler. Boyfriend, time for you to get a wagon or dolly for future games. Betting that girlfriend could beat most guys in an arm wrestling contest!
4. Thank you to your female guest at our tailgate for wearing that dress of yours with the revealing neckline. After quizzing all the guys, one could recall the color or your eyes and only two got your hair color right!
5. Thank you to the older gentleman parading with through the junction with the American flag and placard asking "what happened to the color guard presentation" before kickoff. It made me take notice in the stadium that you are right, "where in the hell was the color guard?"
6. Thank you MSU for allowing fans to bring bottled water into the stadium. The discounted price on purchases of water was a nice touch too. I still paid the higher price to another vendor because the line was much shorter.
7. Thank you to the stadium maintenance crew for such a clean event location. You might want to give the asphalt paving company a call before the next home game. People, including myself, we're tripping on all the loose pieces of asphalt that have popped loose on the visitor side!
8. Thank you to man cub's girly friend for the entertainment. The look on my son's face was priceless when you announced that you had left your student ID in your backpack that was left at the condo! Tuff to get into the stadium without your eticket that is on your ID! Thank you bulldog fan for selling 2 tickets for $10!
9. Thank you to "Stump" for being the friend to help take down our tailgate stuff and getting it to the car. That was a life saver, and both man cub and I appreciated your help!
10. Thank you Sonic for having that slush machine. Those two large cups of this frozen treat was just what the doctor ordered for the ride home.
11. Thank you Susan and Beau for hosting the Ole Miss vs Bamer game at your new house. The food was great and the company was outstanding, even if I was the only Bulldawg in the house!
12. Thank you Vickie for your excitement during that touchdown with your splashdown. I've never seen a woman get that excited! Glad the couch was scotch guarded! Tinkle! Tinkle! Lol!
13. Thank you Alabama fans for those looks of shock when your team was down by 20. It's a shame all those fans headed to the parking lot early. They missed quite a shootout!
14. Thank you social media. FB makes sharing victory and defeat so much sweeter! Being able to share the game experience with our tailgater friend across the State during the game was sweet!
15. And most of all, I am thankful to be able to do it all over again this coming Saturday! Let the food menu planning begin!!!
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Tailgating Funnies From MSU
I am the greatest fan of spectator sports that God put on this earth. Some are chosen to lead as coaches. Others have God given talents to be players on the field. Me, I take great pride in being one of the greatest spectators of all time!
Being a spectator takes a lot of work. Your eyes must be on the lookout at all times. Our never know when an event will occur that requires your full attention.
We have arrived early and unloaded. We head out for a few more errands, stopping by Popeyes for a to go order. I return to campus to secure my parking space. The parking lot attendant says "that will be $20, and man that fried chicken smells good!"
In tailgating, you must observe the weather conditions around you. When setting up your tents the night before, you must anticipate all senerios. The surprise waiting for you after a night storm is a mangled mess of collapsed canvas and twisted poles. It's amazing what you can do with a little bit of bailing wire and a roll of duct tape!
When you have all the right tools for the job, but they are all the wrong colors, what do you do? Any average grandmother knows, when you have an Ole Miss Table colored in red and blue and you are in the dawg's house, you simply cover it a cloth colored in maroon!
You know a young man wasn't raised properly when you observe him packing his ice chest, and he puts the ice in first. And, this kid is a junior! I was scared to death to ask him what his major was!
At some point during the day you have to wonder what has happened to your own children. With mine, I blamed a slip by the man cub on the stress of always being in too big of a hurry. I look up, and he is nowhere to be found. He has headed back to the condo to retrieve not one, but two vegetable trays left in the refrigerator. He had one job..., along.with a lot of others.
Parking on GameDay is at a premium. When you are in charge of the Bud Light dune buggy with built in tshirt machine gun, you must not overstay is a reserved parking spot. Yes, it will get towed!
We get to the stadium and make it to our seats. A nice couple have the last two seats on the end of the row. We have the next two. You know somebody is short, when they stand up next to you, while you are in the sitting position, and you are still several inches taller!
Watching tailgate rookies take down a tent after the show is comical. Off comes the canopy. Then, on three, grab your pole and walk to the center. Seems someone in your party always forgets to push the hidden button. Another tent for the trash pile, and you were sooooo close!
I have my cart loaded to the brim. It has bicycle tires and is rated for up to 350 pounds. It's a balancing act, but pushing it to the truck in the parking lot is a breeze. A woman stops you in mid stride and says "here, let my son help you with your load. He hasn't helped me with anything all day and you look like a good place for him to start!"
Such is the life of a tailgater, and it's only week two! Ready, set, go! Time to begin prepping for week three!
Being a spectator takes a lot of work. Your eyes must be on the lookout at all times. Our never know when an event will occur that requires your full attention.
We have arrived early and unloaded. We head out for a few more errands, stopping by Popeyes for a to go order. I return to campus to secure my parking space. The parking lot attendant says "that will be $20, and man that fried chicken smells good!"
In tailgating, you must observe the weather conditions around you. When setting up your tents the night before, you must anticipate all senerios. The surprise waiting for you after a night storm is a mangled mess of collapsed canvas and twisted poles. It's amazing what you can do with a little bit of bailing wire and a roll of duct tape!
When you have all the right tools for the job, but they are all the wrong colors, what do you do? Any average grandmother knows, when you have an Ole Miss Table colored in red and blue and you are in the dawg's house, you simply cover it a cloth colored in maroon!
You know a young man wasn't raised properly when you observe him packing his ice chest, and he puts the ice in first. And, this kid is a junior! I was scared to death to ask him what his major was!
At some point during the day you have to wonder what has happened to your own children. With mine, I blamed a slip by the man cub on the stress of always being in too big of a hurry. I look up, and he is nowhere to be found. He has headed back to the condo to retrieve not one, but two vegetable trays left in the refrigerator. He had one job..., along.with a lot of others.
Parking on GameDay is at a premium. When you are in charge of the Bud Light dune buggy with built in tshirt machine gun, you must not overstay is a reserved parking spot. Yes, it will get towed!
We get to the stadium and make it to our seats. A nice couple have the last two seats on the end of the row. We have the next two. You know somebody is short, when they stand up next to you, while you are in the sitting position, and you are still several inches taller!
Watching tailgate rookies take down a tent after the show is comical. Off comes the canopy. Then, on three, grab your pole and walk to the center. Seems someone in your party always forgets to push the hidden button. Another tent for the trash pile, and you were sooooo close!
I have my cart loaded to the brim. It has bicycle tires and is rated for up to 350 pounds. It's a balancing act, but pushing it to the truck in the parking lot is a breeze. A woman stops you in mid stride and says "here, let my son help you with your load. He hasn't helped me with anything all day and you look like a good place for him to start!"
Such is the life of a tailgater, and it's only week two! Ready, set, go! Time to begin prepping for week three!
Saturday, September 12, 2015
You Never Know
Weird week for me. Toughest part about retirement is you spend a lot of time alone. That time usually gets spent running errands, chores, and a lot of times just pondering random thoughts.
I was at a low point this week. I'd done my FB duty and made my "happy wishes" to several people out there in FB land. One replied "thank you, and I just love reading your blog posts!" I thought wow. This person finds enjoyment in reading something that I post. She has never left a "like" or comment before. You never know who is listening.
I had a heart to heart conversation with a young man this week. He is a new parent. Loves his new role that God has given him. We talked a lot about all the indiscretions that he has experienced in his life. While I told him that I did not agree with a lot of choices he has made, I do not judge him. The judgements will come from those that are dearest to his heart. He then tells me that while we are not very close, he has the utmost respect for me and my opinions. I took a few steps back on that one. You never know how things will turn out.
Tonight, a hometown friend is in surgery for a double lung transplant that she has been anxiously awaiting for, for over a year and a half. Then, at a drop of a hat, she gets the call. Her time is now. You never know when that call will come.
I just heard about the death of a friend.of mine. He and his wife worked hard all their lives to put three boys through school and we're now reaching the point where they could slow down a bit and start enjoying the golden years. The wife is still working two jobs. My friend just passed away at the hospital. You never know when God will make that call.
Strange week indeed. Sleep has been a little difficult. Hopefully my sleeping patterns will improve. I never know what is around the corner for me, but I'm gonna try to slep a little harder, knowing i can leave my.worries with somebody with bigger hands.
I was at a low point this week. I'd done my FB duty and made my "happy wishes" to several people out there in FB land. One replied "thank you, and I just love reading your blog posts!" I thought wow. This person finds enjoyment in reading something that I post. She has never left a "like" or comment before. You never know who is listening.
I had a heart to heart conversation with a young man this week. He is a new parent. Loves his new role that God has given him. We talked a lot about all the indiscretions that he has experienced in his life. While I told him that I did not agree with a lot of choices he has made, I do not judge him. The judgements will come from those that are dearest to his heart. He then tells me that while we are not very close, he has the utmost respect for me and my opinions. I took a few steps back on that one. You never know how things will turn out.
Tonight, a hometown friend is in surgery for a double lung transplant that she has been anxiously awaiting for, for over a year and a half. Then, at a drop of a hat, she gets the call. Her time is now. You never know when that call will come.
I just heard about the death of a friend.of mine. He and his wife worked hard all their lives to put three boys through school and we're now reaching the point where they could slow down a bit and start enjoying the golden years. The wife is still working two jobs. My friend just passed away at the hospital. You never know when God will make that call.
Strange week indeed. Sleep has been a little difficult. Hopefully my sleeping patterns will improve. I never know what is around the corner for me, but I'm gonna try to slep a little harder, knowing i can leave my.worries with somebody with bigger hands.
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
New Car Fever
With Labor Day fast approaching, the television commercials were full of car dealership ads. "Labor Day sale!" , "72 Hour Sale", "zero percent interest", and on and on they went.
If you checked the online inventories, there was a lilies number of 2015 models available. Good luck finding the exact model and color that you are looking for. And 2016's, for the most part they were "in transit" up until Saturday.
The Chevy Traverse has a bunch of miles on it and the repair trips are becoming.more frequent. The the spousal unit filled out some forms online for an extra discount. They of course wanted your phone number and email address before providing you any information. Soon as you hit "send" the emails and phone calls begin.
"Come on in tomorrow". But your online inventory doesn't show anything that I'm interested in. "Just come on in. I promise you will not be disappointed!" They say!
Used to be you could by an "American made" car or a foreign car. Now a days, card have parts in them that are made all over the world. Foreign manufacturers now have assembly plants all over the United States.
Funny thing happened on our way to find a 2015 Chevy Traverse at one of the Chevy lots. We never made it! We stopped at the Jackson Acura dealer, at the recommendation of our oldest son's girly friend.
Acura is the luxury brand of Honda, like Lexus is to Toyota. The Jackson Acura location is the only Acura dealer in the State of Mississippi. Gee, that's comforting! But never fear, you can go to any Honda dealership in an emergency.
The sales lot was really buzzing with activity. All the sales people were busy with customers. At the end of the day, I asked our salesman, "so, how many cars have you sold today?" His answer, 1.5, and ours was the half, being split with another sales guy. Ok. It's one of the busiest sales day of the year and the dude has closed the deal on 1.5 cars. I don't see these guys getting rich, with Friday, Saturday, and.Holidays being the biggest days for sales. Commissions get chopped up, with several layers taking a cut. Guess that's why dealers are always in the market for more sales people.
Found the right model, right color, and all the right options. No spare tire, wth??? Twelve gallon tank, and they recommend burning premium grade. Starting to sound like a thoroughbred race horse to me!
Dang thing can self steer itself and can auto adjust to keep you within the lane. There is a warning light for cars in your blind spot. This sucker has a dash that is lit up like an airplane cockpit. Naturally the latest technology items only come on the 2016 models. I gotta wonder how the buyers of the 2015 models got along without all these new bells and whistles!
Well, papers got signed and we came home with new baby. Already ordered a few accessories for it off of Amazon.com. I'm guessing those Chevy folks figured out that the Spousal Unit ain't coming their way, since the phone calls dried up, and the emails stopped coming.
Car is now insured, has a tag, and the salesman gave us two Key chain fobs, one Ole Miss and one MSU. Mighty nice of him, considering our house will be paid off well before this car (only 15 more payments on Cliffview! )
If this blog post puts you in the new car fever mode, it's your own damn fault! After all you read the name of the post before you got this far!
Salesmen are fun. It's those evil F&I guys you.gotta worry about. Happy hunting!
If you checked the online inventories, there was a lilies number of 2015 models available. Good luck finding the exact model and color that you are looking for. And 2016's, for the most part they were "in transit" up until Saturday.
The Chevy Traverse has a bunch of miles on it and the repair trips are becoming.more frequent. The the spousal unit filled out some forms online for an extra discount. They of course wanted your phone number and email address before providing you any information. Soon as you hit "send" the emails and phone calls begin.
"Come on in tomorrow". But your online inventory doesn't show anything that I'm interested in. "Just come on in. I promise you will not be disappointed!" They say!
Used to be you could by an "American made" car or a foreign car. Now a days, card have parts in them that are made all over the world. Foreign manufacturers now have assembly plants all over the United States.
Funny thing happened on our way to find a 2015 Chevy Traverse at one of the Chevy lots. We never made it! We stopped at the Jackson Acura dealer, at the recommendation of our oldest son's girly friend.
Acura is the luxury brand of Honda, like Lexus is to Toyota. The Jackson Acura location is the only Acura dealer in the State of Mississippi. Gee, that's comforting! But never fear, you can go to any Honda dealership in an emergency.
The sales lot was really buzzing with activity. All the sales people were busy with customers. At the end of the day, I asked our salesman, "so, how many cars have you sold today?" His answer, 1.5, and ours was the half, being split with another sales guy. Ok. It's one of the busiest sales day of the year and the dude has closed the deal on 1.5 cars. I don't see these guys getting rich, with Friday, Saturday, and.Holidays being the biggest days for sales. Commissions get chopped up, with several layers taking a cut. Guess that's why dealers are always in the market for more sales people.
Found the right model, right color, and all the right options. No spare tire, wth??? Twelve gallon tank, and they recommend burning premium grade. Starting to sound like a thoroughbred race horse to me!
Dang thing can self steer itself and can auto adjust to keep you within the lane. There is a warning light for cars in your blind spot. This sucker has a dash that is lit up like an airplane cockpit. Naturally the latest technology items only come on the 2016 models. I gotta wonder how the buyers of the 2015 models got along without all these new bells and whistles!
Well, papers got signed and we came home with new baby. Already ordered a few accessories for it off of Amazon.com. I'm guessing those Chevy folks figured out that the Spousal Unit ain't coming their way, since the phone calls dried up, and the emails stopped coming.
Car is now insured, has a tag, and the salesman gave us two Key chain fobs, one Ole Miss and one MSU. Mighty nice of him, considering our house will be paid off well before this car (only 15 more payments on Cliffview! )
If this blog post puts you in the new car fever mode, it's your own damn fault! After all you read the name of the post before you got this far!
Salesmen are fun. It's those evil F&I guys you.gotta worry about. Happy hunting!
Monday, September 7, 2015
Now What
My youngest born, the man cub, is now in the home stretch of his college years, now a senior EE student at MSU. Got the oldest educated a few years back with a degree at USM.
Seems like it was yesterday that we were coming home from the hospital with our bundles of joy, both weighed in at 6 pounds 12 ounces and we're 20.25 inches long. The pictures that were made of them at Olan Mills looked identical, except for the date they were taken in.the bottom corner.
Seems like it was yesterday that we were tball parents, then soccer parents. Always at the ready with the snacks and drinks after every game.
Seems like it was yesterday when we were teaching them to drive their mom's BMW Z3 stick shift. The rights of passage.
Seems like it was yesterday when they both turned 21. We made a big deal of it, afterall, it only happens once in your life. Both now have driver's licenses on the horizontal instead of the vertical.
Seems like it was yesterday that there were no girls to steal their hearts away from me. It's been a struggle and I'm getting better every day.at accepting that.
Seems like it was yesterday when both said "enough with these trips to Orlando". Now we're going back because the girl friends have never been.
Seems like it was yesterday when a trip for sushi with the spousal unit was a mere $50. Now, good luck with that.
So, now what? Been involved in their daily routines all their lives. Both are close to that fork in the road of life that they must choose a different path than the one we have been on for so long. I have always allowed them to fall down and pick themselves back up with me just an arms length away.
So now what? Will these girls be forever a part of "us" or does the chosen path take the boys further away? Time is no longer on my side and the decision making is now in their hands.
So now what? So many questions, so few answers. We've bought them the books and we've sent them to school. Hoping that they have learned all the right lessons. Hoping their new paths will pass our way. Hoping to be their for them as they experience adulthood as we did.
So now what? Got my fingers crossed and away we go!
Seems like it was yesterday that we were coming home from the hospital with our bundles of joy, both weighed in at 6 pounds 12 ounces and we're 20.25 inches long. The pictures that were made of them at Olan Mills looked identical, except for the date they were taken in.the bottom corner.
Seems like it was yesterday that we were tball parents, then soccer parents. Always at the ready with the snacks and drinks after every game.
Seems like it was yesterday when we were teaching them to drive their mom's BMW Z3 stick shift. The rights of passage.
Seems like it was yesterday when they both turned 21. We made a big deal of it, afterall, it only happens once in your life. Both now have driver's licenses on the horizontal instead of the vertical.
Seems like it was yesterday that there were no girls to steal their hearts away from me. It's been a struggle and I'm getting better every day.at accepting that.
Seems like it was yesterday when both said "enough with these trips to Orlando". Now we're going back because the girl friends have never been.
Seems like it was yesterday when a trip for sushi with the spousal unit was a mere $50. Now, good luck with that.
So, now what? Been involved in their daily routines all their lives. Both are close to that fork in the road of life that they must choose a different path than the one we have been on for so long. I have always allowed them to fall down and pick themselves back up with me just an arms length away.
So now what? Will these girls be forever a part of "us" or does the chosen path take the boys further away? Time is no longer on my side and the decision making is now in their hands.
So now what? So many questions, so few answers. We've bought them the books and we've sent them to school. Hoping that they have learned all the right lessons. Hoping their new paths will pass our way. Hoping to be their for them as they experience adulthood as we did.
So now what? Got my fingers crossed and away we go!
Sunday, September 6, 2015
New Tailgating Tip
We were leaving for the migration to Oxford a day early and I was in a tizzy. With the temperature anticipated just under unbearable, I planned to take my world famous Ziparitas as a soothing treat for a hot muggy football Saturday. After all, they were fantastic all summer at the beach!
The trick would be figuring out how to keep them frozen until tailgate time. At the beach its a no brainer. Make them up the night before and stick them in the freezer. They would be frozen solid the next day, and can be used as ice blocks instead of using the real thing. More space for adult beverages and other cool treats. But, we were spending the night in a hotel, with no refrigerator, much less a freezer. What is a tailgating professional to do? Ice won't work, takes up too much space and it melts, which will speed up the thawing process during the day and night.
I spent several days pondering this predicament. Then it hits me! Dry ice is the answer! Off I go to the local Kroger. Nope, try the one in Pearl. Manager says, "Dude, no Kroger in the metro area carries it anymore. Go to the Jackson ice plant." I google it, ok, I'm in Pearl, and its on Jefferson Street, only 4-5 miles away!
I take Old Brandon road and cross over the Pearl River bridge and turn left. On the right is WLBT, with the FOX40 logo on the end of the building. A few yards further is my destination. The plant has a convenience store front, so inside I go. I quickly realize that this is an Indian establishment. Scarf covered women at the ready to take your order.
I ask the lady behind the counter "I'm looking for Dry ice." She nods her head in a positive fashion, but no words. I ask "do you have dry ice?" Again, I get the positive nod, but no words. I begin looking around, and suddenly she says in her broken Indian English "u want 5 lb or 10 lb, $1.25 a pound?"
The trick would be figuring out how to keep them frozen until tailgate time. At the beach its a no brainer. Make them up the night before and stick them in the freezer. They would be frozen solid the next day, and can be used as ice blocks instead of using the real thing. More space for adult beverages and other cool treats. But, we were spending the night in a hotel, with no refrigerator, much less a freezer. What is a tailgating professional to do? Ice won't work, takes up too much space and it melts, which will speed up the thawing process during the day and night.
I spent several days pondering this predicament. Then it hits me! Dry ice is the answer! Off I go to the local Kroger. Nope, try the one in Pearl. Manager says, "Dude, no Kroger in the metro area carries it anymore. Go to the Jackson ice plant." I google it, ok, I'm in Pearl, and its on Jefferson Street, only 4-5 miles away!
I take Old Brandon road and cross over the Pearl River bridge and turn left. On the right is WLBT, with the FOX40 logo on the end of the building. A few yards further is my destination. The plant has a convenience store front, so inside I go. I quickly realize that this is an Indian establishment. Scarf covered women at the ready to take your order.
I ask the lady behind the counter "I'm looking for Dry ice." She nods her head in a positive fashion, but no words. I ask "do you have dry ice?" Again, I get the positive nod, but no words. I begin looking around, and suddenly she says in her broken Indian English "u want 5 lb or 10 lb, $1.25 a pound?"
I go hum..... "Let's start with 5 pounds". She goes over to a huge plastic bin, opens it, and begins scooping up frozen pellets. Five pounds are weighed, I then double it to ten pounds. She says "10 pounds, still $1.25 a pound!"
The dry ice was scooped up and put into a paper sack like peanuts. I pay and ask how long the dry ice will last. She replied "30 hour, but u put into cooler. No cooler, no last 30 hour!" I transferred the dry ice into gallon freezer bags, avoiding any freezer burn in the process. Dry ice is now in the cooler, on top of the still frozen margaritas. The clock is running on.my 30 hour!
We have left the hotel and have stopped at the store for a bag of ice and bottled water to go with the Ziparitas. I lifted the lid of the cooler and discover that the dry ice is all but gone. I pick up a Rita and to my delight it and all of the others are frozen solid like a rock. YES! now off to tailgating!
The Dry Ice worked like a charm. the cold from the ice transferred itself to the Ziparitas as the gas melted and looked for a place to go. While the dry ice itself did not last the suggested 30 hours, the coldness from it did! Ritas in the bottom of the cooler were still frozen around 6 p.m., about 30 hours after the dry ice was applied.
Dry Ice is officially in my bag of tricks. Can't wait to do it again this coming weekend in Starkvegas!
The dry ice was scooped up and put into a paper sack like peanuts. I pay and ask how long the dry ice will last. She replied "30 hour, but u put into cooler. No cooler, no last 30 hour!" I transferred the dry ice into gallon freezer bags, avoiding any freezer burn in the process. Dry ice is now in the cooler, on top of the still frozen margaritas. The clock is running on.my 30 hour!
We have left the hotel and have stopped at the store for a bag of ice and bottled water to go with the Ziparitas. I lifted the lid of the cooler and discover that the dry ice is all but gone. I pick up a Rita and to my delight it and all of the others are frozen solid like a rock. YES! now off to tailgating!
The Dry Ice worked like a charm. the cold from the ice transferred itself to the Ziparitas as the gas melted and looked for a place to go. While the dry ice itself did not last the suggested 30 hours, the coldness from it did! Ritas in the bottom of the cooler were still frozen around 6 p.m., about 30 hours after the dry ice was applied.
Dry Ice is officially in my bag of tricks. Can't wait to do it again this coming weekend in Starkvegas!
Change is Brewing in Oxford
It's only the first game of the year in Oxford, but already change is in the air. The game of football is still the same, but the rules for tailgating are being tampered with. Tailgating in the circle and the Grove have been a tradition for quite some time. There is only so many spots in these two locations. Tent setup begins after 7:30 p.m. on Friday evening. In the past, fans could take up residence on a spot of dirt, waiting for the appointed hour. Now, these two areas are off limits until 7:30. There will be some tense moments as fans maneuver for ownership of spots. Our location isn't in danger because we are next to the University PD'S tent.
Gone are the hazards of exploding propane tanks from gas grilling. No more potential for any forest fires from charcoal. The hum of 10,000 generators is a distant memory. You tell people about parking amongst the mighty oaks and the younger generation says, "do what???" Listening to the drum line warm up in the circle is all but forgotten. Now everything is prettied up. Brick pathways for the walk of champions. Red and Blue trash cans placed in all the right places, and electrical outlets every so many feet. There is even indoor plumbing, whether its an out house or a trailer house called the Hotty Toddy Potty.
Today's game had that awful start time of 11:00 a.m., which we have experienced many times before. We were driving in, and wanted to be there early for fellowship, food, and bird watching before heading to the house that Vaught built. We targeted 8:00, being three hours before the appointed time, but only 2 hours before the migration. Traffic shouldn't be a problem, and parking is a no brainer since we have a parking pass at the Ford Center. Now, just get across the bridge on University Avenue for the unloading.
Well, 100 yards before you get to the bridge, traffic comes to a stand still. Cars in front of you are unloading. What the heck? We always pull up in the spot where the ambulance is stationed, ahead of its arrival for quick and easy unloading. No need to pull up further, into the "Grove Unloading spaces, 15 minute maximum parking time". Today, the Grove loop is totally vacant, like a ghost town. The University PD has barricaded the entrance. I'm thinking WTH????? The school had already started shutting down entry to campus two hours before kickoff if you don't have a parking pass, and its now 8:15? We finally get to out unloading destination, and see the traffic cops are diverting all cars to turn left, with no entry for unloading.
As I'm approaching our tailgate spot, right behind the UPD station, a woman is yelling at our favorite officer, "Possum". She is screaming "what is going on?!!! My caterer has called me an he cannot get here to do our delivery or anybody else's food!" Here comes more women, and more yelling! I ask ole Possum "what's the deal?" News alert: the Grove will be off limits to vehicle traffic three hours before kickoff before every home game". I'm thinking, ok, MSU has been doing this for several years. Then I realize that the University implemented this new regulation without taking the time to inform the tailgating public. Somebody has just created a cluster ****!
The news quickly spreads through phone calls, text messages, and social media like Facebook. Traffic in and around the campus is now in gridlock because of the diverted traffic away from the grove. The chat boards will be lighting up big time and somebody's head will have to roll! Once people figure it out, they go into plan B. Women that usually carry in the flower arrangements and the bottles of wine and now loaded down like pack mules. Two young bucks are having to stop and rest every 30 yards because they are now having to hand deliver the heaviest wide screen flat panel you have ever seen. People that usually make one trip from the parking lot are now forming a wagon train, all pulling those collapsible wagons that now come in all the fashionable colors! Wagons ho!!
Now , our tailgate crew is in a rush! Time is passing by far too quickly. Traffic has made for late arrivals. Fortunately our food plan was brunch and munch due to early kickoff and the anticipated heat. In no time at all, the marching band has struck up, and have begun their march. Whoa! I haven't even had my first margarita! Quick! grab the purses, check for tickets! Women and children first! Off we go! The migration to Vaught's house has begun!
We have different seats this year. One section over. Three seats on one row, and a fourth two rows higher. Ole Miss wanted more money. Time to redistribute the ticket wealth to those with deeper pockets. Section F, our home for 40+ years is now beyond the family's reach. $1,000 one time capital contribution this year to keep your same seats from last year in this section. Plus $400 per seat goes to the athletic foundation for the right to buy the ticket in those seats each year. Then there is the cost of the tickets. That's right at $2,000 per seat for a total of $8,000 to sit on aluminum bleachers and bake in 90+ degree heat!
Next, the price of the program guide. $10, up from $5. Whoa!!! But it has a hologram souvenir on the front and a poster on the inside. Whoopie! Now off to concessions. Large cup price $8, but it is now bottomless, with unlimited refills. Genius marketing plan. People usually only buy one cupful a the game. Profit, profit, profit! We pass our old seats on our way to the new ones. Yep, much younger crew with deeper pockets now enjoying what the University has labeled "best seats in the house", at a price!
Today is definitely a hot one with no air movement. The spousal unit didn't last to the second of many touch downs. The concourse was filling up fast. The bottle water concession has dried up, and its not even the end of the first quarter. People are returning for a refill, but they are wanting ice and water. No water tap on the soda fountain, so now things are backing up with trips to the sink faucet at the rear of the concession stand. We left after the spousal unit finished watching the halftime show. Pretty sure they ran out of ice not long after.
Back to our tailgating station. Most of our tailgating crew has beaten us getting there. Several commented on how the heat took its toll, many seeing others requiring assistance. New tailgating regulations require campers to be cleared out three hours after the game. Today, that would not be a problem. But what about future games. What are fans going to do with all the passed out coeds? The traffic lines will possibly be more intense. What else is on the horizon?
Purse sizes are now limited to 12x12x12. Fans are now using those bladders for their favorite adult beverages, and half pints in the girlfriend's cowboy boots. Today was a white out game, so none of the frat boys were wearing the traditional navy blazer and kakis.
I made a joke about there being 40,000 virgins all dressed in white for this opening game of the season. Everybody looked at me. More like 400, maybe they replied. Sign of the times I guess.
I am predicting that within the next five years the campus will be closed off to car traffic totally, accept for access to the parking spaces. No more unloading at the Grove curbside. Within the same timeline, there will be a lottery for tailgating site rental. The passion for the tradition is going to get derailed in the name of public safety and the almighty dollar. Sit back and watch. Resistance is futile. Your tailgating traditions will be assimilated. Pay to park. Pay to ride. Pay for your spot. And pay us for your catered food. After all, "We are, Ole Miss". Me, I'm just a maroon dawg that married into the frenzy, sitting back, taking notes, and watching it all happen.
Cheers! and Hobby Lobby to all!
Gone are the hazards of exploding propane tanks from gas grilling. No more potential for any forest fires from charcoal. The hum of 10,000 generators is a distant memory. You tell people about parking amongst the mighty oaks and the younger generation says, "do what???" Listening to the drum line warm up in the circle is all but forgotten. Now everything is prettied up. Brick pathways for the walk of champions. Red and Blue trash cans placed in all the right places, and electrical outlets every so many feet. There is even indoor plumbing, whether its an out house or a trailer house called the Hotty Toddy Potty.
Today's game had that awful start time of 11:00 a.m., which we have experienced many times before. We were driving in, and wanted to be there early for fellowship, food, and bird watching before heading to the house that Vaught built. We targeted 8:00, being three hours before the appointed time, but only 2 hours before the migration. Traffic shouldn't be a problem, and parking is a no brainer since we have a parking pass at the Ford Center. Now, just get across the bridge on University Avenue for the unloading.
Well, 100 yards before you get to the bridge, traffic comes to a stand still. Cars in front of you are unloading. What the heck? We always pull up in the spot where the ambulance is stationed, ahead of its arrival for quick and easy unloading. No need to pull up further, into the "Grove Unloading spaces, 15 minute maximum parking time". Today, the Grove loop is totally vacant, like a ghost town. The University PD has barricaded the entrance. I'm thinking WTH????? The school had already started shutting down entry to campus two hours before kickoff if you don't have a parking pass, and its now 8:15? We finally get to out unloading destination, and see the traffic cops are diverting all cars to turn left, with no entry for unloading.
As I'm approaching our tailgate spot, right behind the UPD station, a woman is yelling at our favorite officer, "Possum". She is screaming "what is going on?!!! My caterer has called me an he cannot get here to do our delivery or anybody else's food!" Here comes more women, and more yelling! I ask ole Possum "what's the deal?" News alert: the Grove will be off limits to vehicle traffic three hours before kickoff before every home game". I'm thinking, ok, MSU has been doing this for several years. Then I realize that the University implemented this new regulation without taking the time to inform the tailgating public. Somebody has just created a cluster ****!
The news quickly spreads through phone calls, text messages, and social media like Facebook. Traffic in and around the campus is now in gridlock because of the diverted traffic away from the grove. The chat boards will be lighting up big time and somebody's head will have to roll! Once people figure it out, they go into plan B. Women that usually carry in the flower arrangements and the bottles of wine and now loaded down like pack mules. Two young bucks are having to stop and rest every 30 yards because they are now having to hand deliver the heaviest wide screen flat panel you have ever seen. People that usually make one trip from the parking lot are now forming a wagon train, all pulling those collapsible wagons that now come in all the fashionable colors! Wagons ho!!
Now , our tailgate crew is in a rush! Time is passing by far too quickly. Traffic has made for late arrivals. Fortunately our food plan was brunch and munch due to early kickoff and the anticipated heat. In no time at all, the marching band has struck up, and have begun their march. Whoa! I haven't even had my first margarita! Quick! grab the purses, check for tickets! Women and children first! Off we go! The migration to Vaught's house has begun!
We have different seats this year. One section over. Three seats on one row, and a fourth two rows higher. Ole Miss wanted more money. Time to redistribute the ticket wealth to those with deeper pockets. Section F, our home for 40+ years is now beyond the family's reach. $1,000 one time capital contribution this year to keep your same seats from last year in this section. Plus $400 per seat goes to the athletic foundation for the right to buy the ticket in those seats each year. Then there is the cost of the tickets. That's right at $2,000 per seat for a total of $8,000 to sit on aluminum bleachers and bake in 90+ degree heat!
Next, the price of the program guide. $10, up from $5. Whoa!!! But it has a hologram souvenir on the front and a poster on the inside. Whoopie! Now off to concessions. Large cup price $8, but it is now bottomless, with unlimited refills. Genius marketing plan. People usually only buy one cupful a the game. Profit, profit, profit! We pass our old seats on our way to the new ones. Yep, much younger crew with deeper pockets now enjoying what the University has labeled "best seats in the house", at a price!
Today is definitely a hot one with no air movement. The spousal unit didn't last to the second of many touch downs. The concourse was filling up fast. The bottle water concession has dried up, and its not even the end of the first quarter. People are returning for a refill, but they are wanting ice and water. No water tap on the soda fountain, so now things are backing up with trips to the sink faucet at the rear of the concession stand. We left after the spousal unit finished watching the halftime show. Pretty sure they ran out of ice not long after.
Back to our tailgating station. Most of our tailgating crew has beaten us getting there. Several commented on how the heat took its toll, many seeing others requiring assistance. New tailgating regulations require campers to be cleared out three hours after the game. Today, that would not be a problem. But what about future games. What are fans going to do with all the passed out coeds? The traffic lines will possibly be more intense. What else is on the horizon?
Purse sizes are now limited to 12x12x12. Fans are now using those bladders for their favorite adult beverages, and half pints in the girlfriend's cowboy boots. Today was a white out game, so none of the frat boys were wearing the traditional navy blazer and kakis.
I made a joke about there being 40,000 virgins all dressed in white for this opening game of the season. Everybody looked at me. More like 400, maybe they replied. Sign of the times I guess.
I am predicting that within the next five years the campus will be closed off to car traffic totally, accept for access to the parking spaces. No more unloading at the Grove curbside. Within the same timeline, there will be a lottery for tailgating site rental. The passion for the tradition is going to get derailed in the name of public safety and the almighty dollar. Sit back and watch. Resistance is futile. Your tailgating traditions will be assimilated. Pay to park. Pay to ride. Pay for your spot. And pay us for your catered food. After all, "We are, Ole Miss". Me, I'm just a maroon dawg that married into the frenzy, sitting back, taking notes, and watching it all happen.
Cheers! and Hobby Lobby to all!
Friday, September 4, 2015
Unofficial List of Dumbass Moves
This list has been years in the making from personal experiences. They are in not particular order. I will never admit to the ones that happened to me:
1. Driving in the rain on the Interstate with your cruise control on. Sooner or later your butt will be in the ditch, or worse, in a wreck and hurt somebody.
2. Swimming without a life jacket on. Her telling you that "I'm on the pill" ain't gonna cut it when she gets the baby bump.
3. Electricity goes out at the house. Your wife is late for work, and she is in her car, trapped in the garage. Time for somebody to pull the little red handle.
4. Showing up at the "Grove" with two cases of beer, one in each hand, uncovered, and walking by the Police tent. Open the box, pop the top, and pour, pour, pour.
5. Wearing a very expensive pair of sunglasses without a strap, into the surf at the beach on red flag day. Kiss'em goodbye!
6. Deciding to burn trash in your yard, for the first time, and using gasoline as the starter. Kaboom!
7. Sending your girlfriend a text "don't come, I don't love you anymore" when she is in transit, in the car, with your mother and grandmother.
8. Your Neighbor asks you how to smoke a turkey. Hour later you notice the smoker looks like it is on fire, with smoke billowing out of it. Wood pan is in overload! You fix it by removing 2/3's of the wood. Hours later the neighbor says "did you know there was a turkey neck up in the carcass?" "What about the gizzard sack?" "Huh???" Yep! both were well done, bird was black.
9. How to fix an ingrown toenail. Accidentally drop a heavy wooden picnic table on your foot and lose the toenail.
10. How do you stop the question "so, what happened to your big toenail?" Paint it with son's girlfriend's fingernail polish, one color amongst 100's to choose from.
11. How to shit in your pants. After Katrina, sit back, relax, and drink a beer, with a pickup holding three 55 gallon drums full of gasoline with the vents open, in your driveway. Then have your neighbors join you and one of them lights up a cigarette!
12. Go swimming in the Yazoo River as a preteen and hide the muddy underwear in the closet. Next thing you know your momma has you at the health department for a thyphoid fever shot. which hurt!
13. Hand your buddy your beer and say "watch this!"
14. Middle aged men taking on a bunch of college girls in a game of "quarters" or "cup flip". Obviously the girls have had a lot of practice!
15. Change your own oil and guide your spousal unit up, and over the tire ramps!
16. Ride a 10 speed bicycle for the first time and not know where the brakes are, then sit down on the back tire to stop. Burn baby burn!
17. Attend a crawfish boil with your soon to be ex-husband. Consume one too many adult beverages and head home. Then, bed time, and a certain someone forgot to wash his cayenne flavored hands......
18. Long road trip for a football game. You are wearing a tinge unit that you borrowed for back pain. Get to the rest stop for a tinkle drop. You are so concerned about managing all the wires, you forget one other thing. Panty drop!
19. You are in the men's restroom in the John. You here your Boss say "damn! I hate it when this happens!" A week later it happens to you. Boxers on backwards!
20. You are having a party in your backyard, full of neigbors and your three dogs. Youe wife walks out back and says "honey, look what I found in the garage." A cat, with all its claws! Go dogs go! Cat wins, dogs lose, honey bleeding.
As the days and months go by, you can be assured that there will be another list!
1. Driving in the rain on the Interstate with your cruise control on. Sooner or later your butt will be in the ditch, or worse, in a wreck and hurt somebody.
2. Swimming without a life jacket on. Her telling you that "I'm on the pill" ain't gonna cut it when she gets the baby bump.
3. Electricity goes out at the house. Your wife is late for work, and she is in her car, trapped in the garage. Time for somebody to pull the little red handle.
4. Showing up at the "Grove" with two cases of beer, one in each hand, uncovered, and walking by the Police tent. Open the box, pop the top, and pour, pour, pour.
5. Wearing a very expensive pair of sunglasses without a strap, into the surf at the beach on red flag day. Kiss'em goodbye!
6. Deciding to burn trash in your yard, for the first time, and using gasoline as the starter. Kaboom!
7. Sending your girlfriend a text "don't come, I don't love you anymore" when she is in transit, in the car, with your mother and grandmother.
8. Your Neighbor asks you how to smoke a turkey. Hour later you notice the smoker looks like it is on fire, with smoke billowing out of it. Wood pan is in overload! You fix it by removing 2/3's of the wood. Hours later the neighbor says "did you know there was a turkey neck up in the carcass?" "What about the gizzard sack?" "Huh???" Yep! both were well done, bird was black.
9. How to fix an ingrown toenail. Accidentally drop a heavy wooden picnic table on your foot and lose the toenail.
10. How do you stop the question "so, what happened to your big toenail?" Paint it with son's girlfriend's fingernail polish, one color amongst 100's to choose from.
11. How to shit in your pants. After Katrina, sit back, relax, and drink a beer, with a pickup holding three 55 gallon drums full of gasoline with the vents open, in your driveway. Then have your neighbors join you and one of them lights up a cigarette!
12. Go swimming in the Yazoo River as a preteen and hide the muddy underwear in the closet. Next thing you know your momma has you at the health department for a thyphoid fever shot. which hurt!
13. Hand your buddy your beer and say "watch this!"
14. Middle aged men taking on a bunch of college girls in a game of "quarters" or "cup flip". Obviously the girls have had a lot of practice!
15. Change your own oil and guide your spousal unit up, and over the tire ramps!
16. Ride a 10 speed bicycle for the first time and not know where the brakes are, then sit down on the back tire to stop. Burn baby burn!
17. Attend a crawfish boil with your soon to be ex-husband. Consume one too many adult beverages and head home. Then, bed time, and a certain someone forgot to wash his cayenne flavored hands......
18. Long road trip for a football game. You are wearing a tinge unit that you borrowed for back pain. Get to the rest stop for a tinkle drop. You are so concerned about managing all the wires, you forget one other thing. Panty drop!
19. You are in the men's restroom in the John. You here your Boss say "damn! I hate it when this happens!" A week later it happens to you. Boxers on backwards!
20. You are having a party in your backyard, full of neigbors and your three dogs. Youe wife walks out back and says "honey, look what I found in the garage." A cat, with all its claws! Go dogs go! Cat wins, dogs lose, honey bleeding.
As the days and months go by, you can be assured that there will be another list!
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Elvis Has Left the Building
With tailgating in the Grove just three days away, one of the traditions will be no longer. Each fall we have been entertained by the big guy, a really big guy.
Hand this man a microphone, turn on the music, and out comes Elvis from this gentle giant. You end up singing along with him because you know all the songs.
He cut his hair like him, even grew his burns like him. He had costumes upsize to give you the impression that Elvis was indeed in the building!
Our Elvis has sung his last song. He has officially left the building, passing in the night.
His name was Will Atkinson, but for me, he will always be "Elvis"!
Hand this man a microphone, turn on the music, and out comes Elvis from this gentle giant. You end up singing along with him because you know all the songs.
He cut his hair like him, even grew his burns like him. He had costumes upsize to give you the impression that Elvis was indeed in the building!
Our Elvis has sung his last song. He has officially left the building, passing in the night.
His name was Will Atkinson, but for me, he will always be "Elvis"!
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