Not Your Normal Day at HD

Working as a contractor at HD, I am asked daily, "do you work here?", "can you help me?", and a host of other questions.  The best trick to avoid this is to NEVER look up!  Some will stand there, waiting to ask you their question.  Some just walk away, others persist in their waiting on you to look up, while others just bark out their question.  Our usual response is "I don't work for HD."  We are compensated on the items we assemble, so interruptions cost us time, which is money.

Today, my "don't look up" force field wasn't working!    Three different customers broke through and "got me"!

Old Guy Gardener:  This dude was looking for a rake.  Not any rake, but one with a telescopic pole!  Sir, all the rakes they have are right there.  Old Guy Gardener dude would not give up.  "well, I'm looking for a rake with a telescopic pole to use in my garden.  Those on the rack will not do.  Is there another area in the store where I can look?"  Me:  "Sir, you may want to ask someone in an orange apron, or ask at the service desk."  Old Guy Gardener, "but why can't you help me???  Even more conversation.  I have got to get that hat that says "I don't work here!"

Seven Acre lawn Guy:  Hey mister, do you know anything about the Ariens zero turn mowers?  Me:  I take them out of the crates and prep them for sale.  Dude:  But are they any good?  Me:  Sir, I just take them out of the crate and prep them for sale. They are the most popular, and don't stay on the lot very long.  Dude:  But will it hold up?  Me:  That depends on the operator.  Dude: That's true.  Do many come back?  Me:  I take them out of the crate and prep them for sale.  I need access to the intercom:  "Manager!  Complicated Order!!!!"

Middle Eastern Dudes:  These two guys bought a small tiller.  The manager brought them and the tiller to me.  Manager:  can you assemble this for them?  Me:  Now?  Manager:  Yes.  How long will it take?  Me: 3-4 hours.  Kidding, 15 minutes.  We instructed the two middle eastern dudes to go spent more money.  Just as I was finishing up, they returned.  I told them:  "mix this container of 2 cycle oil with a gallon of gas, put use ethanol-free gasoline."  Here it comes....

"My English is very poor.  What is 2 cycle?"  Five minute conversation about 2 cycle vs 4 cycle engines.

"I no have gallon can.  I have five gallon can"  Ok, mix 5 containers of 2 cycle oil with 5 gallons of gas, the non-ethanol kind.  "What is ethanol gas?  Another 5 minute conversation about gas.....

"How do I start it?"  Me:  read the instruction manual for the proper steps to operate this machine.  Dude:  "my English is very poor.  Can you show me?  Another 10 minutes to show him how to crank it.  Then it dawns on him, "Oh, I have weedeater, like weedeater?"  Me:  yes just like weedeater!

"Can I use weedeater gas in tiller?"  Yes!  You got it!

"My mower, when I turn the key, the mower does not crank, just makes noise, like errerrerrerr.....".  New Battery, I ask?  "Yes new battery, must be starter?"  Me:  yes sounds like it.  "You fix mower?" Me:  No Sir!  Check with tool rental at the other end of the store. "I not need to rent, I need to fix."  Me:  Tool rental can refer you to a repair shop.

They leave, then back again.  "This the right oil?  2 cycle?"  Me:  Yes.  Remember 5 containers to 5 gallons of gasoline.  They leave.  They return  "I want box back."  Me:  here you go!

The younger guy looked like he understood everything.  I ask, do you understand?  He said yes, but he hardly said a word to the older guy, with limited English.  And I'm an old southern redneck trying to explain!  I'm guessing the younger guy did not want to embarrass the older guy in front of me!

I made $10 on that tiller.  Build time and conversation took an hour.  Now you know why we use the "don't look up" rule!