Busted!

My Mom has been on me to include some of her "suggestions" in my blog.  Okay Mom, this one is for you!

Yazoo River:
Growing up in Belzoni, sometimes things would get a little slow.  Somebody came up with the idea of going swimming in the Yazoo River. Hours were spent on a vine swing, and sliding down the river bank.   Brother Jim and a few others were a bit more adventurous and decided to swim across and back.  Once we got home, we didn't know what to do with that muddy underwear.  We knew that we shouldn't throw them away, so we hid them in the closet.  Busted!  Well, it didn't take Mom log to find them.  Off to the health department we go for a typhoid fever shot.  Turns out this was before sewage treatment plants and the Ole Yazoo River was the dumping ground for all that.  Brother Jim had baseball practice that afternoon, and his arm almost fell off from the aggravation of that shot!

Heater:
Back in the day before central heat and air, out house had electric space heaters.  The grid had the look of a waffle iron.  Butt naked, and boys being boys, Brother Jim and I got into a shoving match on who would take a bath first.  I won.  Jim's butt lost. Yep, in the tussle, he got backed up right into that space heater.  For several months he had the nickname of "waffle butt"!

Dog Named Heinz:
My Mom was famous for coming up with named of all our dogs.  We had a beagle covered in fleas, he got named "Fleahound".  Heinz,our sister Julie's dog, had more breeds in him than you could name.  Mom said, "well, he's nothing but a Heinz 57"  Thus the name.  One day my Mom was bent over the dog using scissors to give him a trim.  All of a sudden I hear this explosion of gas.  My Mom says "well Heinz!".  I said "Heinz nothing"!  Busted!

Damn Radiator:
I had an old Chevy that occasionally would run hot.  I used to keep an old antifreeze jug in the trunk.  It was the summer after my senior year of high school.  Got up late to go to work, but needed to add water to the radiator before leaving for work.  I popped the trunk to retrieve the jug of water, forgetting about the case of Miller ponies left over from the weekend.  I sweated it out for several days, not hearing anything from Mom.  Several months later, after my 18th birthday, at a family gathering, a discussion arose concerning underage drinking.  Busted!  Mom: "well Bill had a case of beer in his trunk this summer!"

Blue Ribbon:
When I first moved to Jackson, the spousal unit was a nursing student, and worked a summer at the VA.  One Saturday, I gave her my car keys.  When she returned, she noticed the apartment door was locked.  She used her key to unlock the door.  As she entered the room, she suddenly fell to the floor in total laughter.  There I was, doing my Burt Reynolds imitation on the couch, wearing nothing but a blue ribbon around my neck.  Busted!  So much for a spontaneous moment of romance!

Playing Hookie:
One day at work, my buddy got a call from his wife, who worked at Belk.  She wanted to know if today was a school holiday.  I said "no, why?".  Because I just saw your son Matthew in here with two girls.  Busted!  Made a call to the spousal unit, who drove up to the school and found his car in the student parking lot.  She gave him a call, asking him where he was.  He said he was on his way home.  Mom:  "Oh really.  Well I'm standing next to your car, and you aren't in it!"


Wee Hours:
One summer night, I was awaken by the spousal unit.  "Do you want to know what your son has been up to?"  I said, "I guess I'm about to find out."  Turns out, Oscar the dog had been barking.  He wanted into Morgan's bedroom, but Morgan would not let him in.  It was 3 in the morning.  The spousal unit opens the door, and in she and Oscar goes.  She notices the closet door was shut, which never happens.  She says "Ok Morgan, what's up?"  Morgan's response "girls!"  Busted!  Two girls were hiding in his closet.  They had gotten bored in the night, and came over for a visit.  The spousal unit was getting more enraged as she was telling me the story.  I had to bite my pillow to keep from laughing.  Spousal unit said "what's so funny?"  I said, "well you know what this makes Oscar?  A cock hound!"  Ice broken.  Ever since Oscar gets extra treats.


While not all of these came from my Mom, I am sure that she will be reminding me of more.  She better be careful what she reminds me, as I just might remember a few more on her!