Shacking Up, at Her Place 101

This younger generation has made the traditional relationships with their mate a thing of the past.  You like her, she likes you, hey, lets move in together!  But, before you pack your bags, and move out of mamma's house, there are ten rules you must observe and obey:

1.  Bathrooms:  girls do not share their bathroom, period.  You will be granted access to the guest bathroom.  You must keep this room neat and tidy at all times.  No beard hair in the sink!  And the cardinal rule to never break-never use the monogrammed towels to dry your hands and do not use that special bar of soap in the dish!  That soap is for guest only!

2.  Toilet seat:  the seat must be in the down position at all times.  If you miss or spatter, wipe it down!  And don't just flush and go!  You must remain in a holding pattern until the completion of the water cycle!  Most women prefer the lid down also.

3.  Toilet Paper:  you must observe the paper flow of the roll of paper before using up the roll.  The woman of the household has a particular preference, paper under, or paper over.  Do not make light of this.  Your relationship with this woman depends on it.

4.  Running water:  during the first six-twelve months of your stay, you will notice that the woman of the house runs the water in the sink, while they are in that room doing their business.  Once the gal of the house becomes comfortable with you in the house, then the running water will stop, and then you will notice the sounds of the jungle coming from behind that door!

5. Closets:  your best hope is that the bedrooms have walk in closets.  If not, you best get used to living out of your suitcase!  The bedroom closet will be full of this season's clothing, and the other bedroom closets will be full of the other seasonal clothing.

6. Refrigerator:  forget having space for your twelve pack of your favorite beer.  The refrigerator will be full of bottles of white wine, cottage cheese, yogurt, and sugar free flavored water!  The veggie bins will be full of, you guessed it, veggies!

7.  TV:  don't even think of reprogramming the favorite tv channels on the TV, even if its yours!  The remote control is her domain!

8.  Laundry:  stick with just washing your own clothes, until she gives you permission to run a load for her.  On each and every item, you must check the recommended laundry procedures, as some items will need to be sent to the dry cleaners, and you must separate the whites, from the pastels, from the dark colors.  When removing items from the dryer, have a pair of tongs handy, in case you come across her thong underwear.

9.  Bed covers:  chances are the duvet, or bed spread is light colored.  Never come into the bedroom all hot and sweaty and crash on the bed for a quick nap.  You must first take a quick shower, dry off, and put on clean clothes.  Your body sweat will stain that light colored material.

10. Pets:  if the gal of the house has a pet, remember, it was here first.  If the woman of the house has to make a choice, it will not be you!

If you will observe these house rules, your stay may eventually become permanent  Most of these rules will apply, if she moves into your domain, but that's a whole separate topic!