Everybody has pool rules, and they are usually posted on the fence or wall somewhere. At the Markie Mark we have our own set of rules. Here are our top 12:
1. If the water is green, don't look for your toes, you won't find them. If its too green, start looking for frogs!
2. If you bring snack, be sure to bring enough to share. A pork butt to snack on, include slider buns instead of the full size ones, women and their diets
3. Don't get your man card punched by blowing up a giant sized beach ball for a lady with other women around. Death sentence
4. In a pool full of cougar mommas. head for deep water, with a float, and your cold beverage. As they drink, their vision gets blurry, then anybody in trunks are fair game
5. On a warm day, have your flip flops handy. Not cool to scoot across concrete yelling hot! hot! hot!
6. When the pool sounds like it has a bad case of indigestion, time to add several inches of water
7. Never call the Pool Popo lady a "ball sack" when she asks you your name and unit number. Citizens arrest! You better have your unit number and owner name down pat!
8. Never fall asleep on your pool float, you might miss out on Duck Commander dropping by with his duck decoys to record a video.
9. If you're a sugar daddy and you are with your sugar baby, keep your affectionate little butt pats underwater, or back at the house! You'll be the talk of the pool for weeks!
10. When the pool is in cocoon mode, don't be letting your babies be splashing and making waves. Us older peeps need our calm waters!
11. Alcohol and pool floats can be a deadly combination. We've seen float swallow up babes like a taco!
12. Woman that goes silent, works her way to open water, then returns to her usual spot has just left you a present in the pool. A warm spot!
Retired in 2012. I'm trying to out run old age and boredom. So far, I'm winning the race!
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