Babying Ain't What It Used To Be

Got a grandbaby nephew in the oven and today is supposed to be his birthday.  Ain't heard a word yet, but with all the new fangled ways to do things these days I'm not surprised.  Back when I was born they used to do the announcing be smoke signal and telegram.  Now, holy moley!  You gotcha cell phone calls, text messages, Facetime, Snapchat, Facebook page, Facebook group, Facebook messenger, Twitter, Instagram, Tumbler, and on, and on....

When we had our first born, we entered the hospital around 8 p.m. and he came to us by C-section at 8:34 the next morning.  The hospital didn't have 637 tv channels to watch.  In the wee hours it was her and the contractions, me, and the few infomercials that were being telecast at cheap rates that time of night.

Once Matthew got here it was a mad rush to the payphone.  Luckily I had my roll of quarters with me.  Cling, cling they went!  The Maw-in-law was with me, and she was more excited than anybody.  She was getting all flustered, and yelled at me, "well fiddle!  Where do the quarters go on this pay phone???!!!"  I had to calm her down a bit, let her use the one I had, and explain to her that she was trying to feed quarters into a credit card slot on that particular pay phone!  Lord, I am so glad that I've never had to take her to a Casino!  All the calls got made in spite of that credit card one!

When I got raised, all they had was cotton diapers.  With good poops and bad, it was the same process!  Those with money paid for a diaper service.  The rest did the self service cleansing regularly.  When mine came along, it was all about disposable diapers and wipes.  We were lucky that the diaper genie was invented during our time.  That sucker could hold a few days of used-ups at a time, with a built in senor telling you it was time to dump, you know, the smell!  Nowadays, I'm guessing my version of the diaper genie is long gone.  This new generation probably has one that incinerates each one, or recycles it into garden fertilizer!

In my day, they killed a rabbit for some strange ritual. With ours, the spousal unit merely peed on a sweet tart contraption.  With her, there were no ifs, ands or buts, she was 100% pregnant both times.  These days I think the sweet tart thing is history too.  There has gotta be an IPhone or Android Application that these women have on their phones that picks up some kind of sensory reading and sends the findings to the OB-GYM.com app and they get some type of message telling them its time for them to start eating all kinds of weird combinations of food items! Their hubbies need to go ahead and find one of those online child birthing classes. And forget about that new truck or sportscar, its SUV time.  He'll also need to be stocking up on those e-cigars to hand out on birth day! 

Car seats are another thing.  In my time, first you bought an infant carrier.  Then you upgraded to a car seat that you moved from car to car. That car seat was good for at least two birthings  Now it's a combination all-in-one.  You have one carrier, and at least six base units, two for you, two for the grandparents, and to for those sister-in-laws that fight over baby sitting rights!

I saw a commercial the other day where a baby came out, grabbed the nearest IPhone, and got things rolling then and there.  I won't be surprised if it happens with this one.  Come on ACE!  You've got a crowd of folks waiting on ya!