Rebel 101

With a new freshmen season coming near, now would be a good time to go over the rules of the games for those newbie parents that will be on campus visiting their college student this fall.

1.  At that school up north, one doesn't  greet each other with a "hello", or "how ya'll doing?"  Now one must greet with a "hotty toddy" and reply with a "hotty toddy"!  This kinda takes care of those unpleasant moments when you don't know what to say.  Rumor has it that it has been spoken to love ones in the box whose whole life was all about the red and blue.

2.  Your freshman son must have in his wardrobe a navy sportscoat, kaki dress pants, and a selection of ties.  Bow ties are optional.  The sports coat, on occasion has been known to be used as cover in the stadium when one is stuck in the crowd and has to pee!

3.  Young ladies are required to wear their three inch heels to the Grove on at lease three home football weekends.  The heels are required in order to insure that the soil on top of the majestic oaks gets good aeration.

4.  On football Saturday, you must remember to cover your twelve pack or case of your favorite adult beverage.  It is usually the incoming freshmen that has not yet gotten the lowdown on the hoedown in the Grove.  Once "busted" it is your responsibility to recycle responsibly!

5.  Tailgating is no longer all about the chicken strip.  Once in College, students must develop a taste for a variety of dips, pasta salads  and finger sandwiches.  Rest assured, there will be chicken fingers present, but not in the volumes of years past.

6.  It is permissible for young coeds to wear panty hose in lieu of a Florida summer tan, but under no circumstances is she allowed to also wear open toed shoes!  Her great grandmother would roll over in her grave!

7.  Coolers of all types will arrive for the tailgaters party.  Personal coolers, rolling coolers, and chest coolers of all colors and sizes.  One does not necessarily need to place a lock on their cooler.  The lid must, however, be secured tightly.  Any accidental spillage on the Grove loop is fair game for Security to claim!

8.  Prior to your arrival on football Saturday,  please have the GPS coordinates of your tent site locked and loaded into your cell phone.  No point looking like lost sheep on your first visit.

9. For you ladies on your first visit, please be prepared for your first encounter with a "port-o-john".  Restroom lines are quite long in the few buildings that are open, and there are only two "hotty toddy potty" trailers.

10.  The number one rule to remember on your visit is that "they may not win every game, but they never lost a tailgate"!