With April comes the Double Decker Festival. And with it, we had the Ole Miss vs LSU baseball series. The weather was great, Arts, Food, Music, and people, OMG the people!
Thursday night was an ESPN thing, with Ole Miss winning in a runaway game. Friday night did not disappoint, with the Spousal Unit's Rebels coming up a little short. Our crew decided to make a stop downtown for a bite and to catch up on the gossip. My buddy Paul has a secret parking space that's just two blocks off the Square. South Taco Depot was the destination.
As we rounded the corner, there were two horse patrolmen blocking the sidewalk. Three patrol cars were also there blocking the road. And, a little further down, three more horse patrolmen in formation had the street covered. Security for night one of Double Decker? Nope. Next door to the restaurant at the Lyric, a shot had been fired, with an injured person. This just happened before our arrival! Nobody goes down the street, nobody leaves the area!
Eventually we were allowed to enter the restaurant, which was full of students enjoying their favorite adult beverages. Those "21" year olds were packed in there like sardines! And there was no leaving with any cup in hand! A few conversations with security, and we were up to speed. The next day, the police report indicated that a patron had shot a round up in the air, and a girl got cut on broken glass on the rush to exit the scene! Glad I had my pocket knife on me at the ready!
The Double Decker Festival got kicked off Saturday morning at 10:00. All the downtown roads are blocked off, and the parking lots are restricted to event staff and vendor use. You either hike it for quite a bit, or park at the High School and do the $5 shuttle ride. We opted for the shuttle service.
We arrived at the high school, and the line was quite long. After parking, we joined the wait. In this world of "I want it now!" our line began to shrink. A rumor was going down the line that one of the buses had broken down. People in front of us began thinning out. Patience people, patience! Eventually the two buses returned for the next load. The buses dropped us off one street off from the Square!
The Courthouse was surrounded by vendors selling their food items. We made the circle, looking to see if the "fried pie" lady was present. Dang. No spot for her this year. Those pies are oh, so, good! I think the longest line was at the Regions Bank ATM! Don't people think to bring cash to these things anymore????? I ended up with a tasty smoked turkey leg, and the Spousal Unit got a chicken bacon ranch wrap. Making your way around the Courthouse was an adventure whe you spend your time dodging the wagons, strollers, dogs, service carts, and the 600 lb lady in the double wide electric scooter! She was literally plowing her way through the crowd with her entourage in tow! Time to move on....
We made our way past all the vendor tents. Yep, seen all this before.... It kills me to see how many people buy the bird feeders year after year! We finally made the turn, and were headed back to the bus pickup line. Oh, and we did see the two double decker buses two blocks down on Jackson Avenue, full of parents and kids taking the tour. Now time to head back to the campus for the baseball game!
I dropped the spousal unit off in front of the Ford Center, then I went searching for a spot. This was almost 2 hours before the game! No luck in the Ford Center Lot. I called the Spousal Unit and suggested she begin her walk without me. I headed to the South Lot near Hwy 6 and caught the shuttle back to the stadium. As I entered the concourse, there was the SU only 30 paces in front of me! Who knew!
The third game of the series with LSU would be a nail biter! Ole Miss took an early lead, but the wheels fell off the pitching staff and LSU took a big lead. Then, Thomas Dillard smashed one so hard over right field, that the students under it forgot to toss up their beer in the traditional celebration! Ole Miss had a two run lead in the top of the ninth. The bases got loaded up, and the closer ended up walking in a run. In dramatic fashion, the next batter hit one to the fence, but it was caught for out number three! What a fitting ending to the game and our Double Decker Weekend!
Retired in 2012. I'm trying to out run old age and boredom. So far, I'm winning the race!
Sunday, April 29, 2018
Friday, April 13, 2018
Beach trip on Friday the 13th
I planned this trip over 10 months ago, a beach trip for the Spousal Unit's birthday. This is not any beach, but Miramar at Sandestin, where the water is clear and the sand is like sugar!
We got a late start Thursday night, with me tossing the necessities into the car: cool cabanas, chairs, wagon, yeti with already made Rita, and two CPAP machines!
For us to be old timers at this, you would think we would be more prepared! No beach bag, no beach towel, no sun screen, limited snacks, but plenty of Ritas!
As soon as you top the slight hill on the board walk, you can smell the salt air. When you reach the crest, you get the sight you have been waiting for all winter, that emerald green and blue water! Yes! BEACH!
We pick our spot, and pull out the two cool cabanas. It's been a while! One canopy is brand new, a replacement for one stolen in Fort Myers last summer. We almost forgot how easy the Set up was. Chairs were in place in no time!
In an instant, I was bird watching from my favorite perch, beach chair in the shade! First sighting was an orange crusted strut butt. That ole gal was giving it her all in her attempts to get her umbrella anchored in the sand. The Spousal Unit has a sharper eye, noting that one of the girls in this particular covey of birds was the niece of one of her high school classmates. How women are able to keep up with all that is beyond me!
A little boy and his dad were sneaking up very slowly and quietly. He whispered to us "I'm gonna catch me one of those birds, but you have to be very quiet....". His dad had beer in hand. I told him, "hey, no drinking while on the hunt!"
All around us were these coveys of women! The first one we spotted had that familiar face in it. The one behind us, was a bachelorette trip, all in their 40's. One was a recent widow, and the others were trying to spot her a prize! We overheard them making up commentary about the events occurring around them. We were doing the same!
This one woman had on this one piece skin tight onesie! That suit was from head to toe! Then she came out with this cape! Her onesie reminded me of those beach blankets that doesn't let the sand come through! With the cape, she could have quickly become a beach kite!
It's funny to watch these birds use up a whole spray can of sun screen in just four squirts! The rest becomes airborne and heads down wind! The gal with the vaping habit had a strange taste in flavors that we all got to smell down wind!
The young bucks spent the day getting up their courage through cans of beer. They decided they would all succeed or all go down in a ball of flames with an attempted hit on one of the many coneys around them. Crash and burn they did!
I think all the women over 40 were on sensory alert overload. They all spotted the one girl that had way too much to drink, being cared for by some guy she had just met today. We got a recap of her day from the bachelorette party that had been measuring her up all day! We are goimg to meet up with them tomorrow to add another chapter to "a day at the beach"!
Stay tuned......
We got a late start Thursday night, with me tossing the necessities into the car: cool cabanas, chairs, wagon, yeti with already made Rita, and two CPAP machines!
For us to be old timers at this, you would think we would be more prepared! No beach bag, no beach towel, no sun screen, limited snacks, but plenty of Ritas!
As soon as you top the slight hill on the board walk, you can smell the salt air. When you reach the crest, you get the sight you have been waiting for all winter, that emerald green and blue water! Yes! BEACH!
We pick our spot, and pull out the two cool cabanas. It's been a while! One canopy is brand new, a replacement for one stolen in Fort Myers last summer. We almost forgot how easy the Set up was. Chairs were in place in no time!
In an instant, I was bird watching from my favorite perch, beach chair in the shade! First sighting was an orange crusted strut butt. That ole gal was giving it her all in her attempts to get her umbrella anchored in the sand. The Spousal Unit has a sharper eye, noting that one of the girls in this particular covey of birds was the niece of one of her high school classmates. How women are able to keep up with all that is beyond me!
A little boy and his dad were sneaking up very slowly and quietly. He whispered to us "I'm gonna catch me one of those birds, but you have to be very quiet....". His dad had beer in hand. I told him, "hey, no drinking while on the hunt!"
All around us were these coveys of women! The first one we spotted had that familiar face in it. The one behind us, was a bachelorette trip, all in their 40's. One was a recent widow, and the others were trying to spot her a prize! We overheard them making up commentary about the events occurring around them. We were doing the same!
This one woman had on this one piece skin tight onesie! That suit was from head to toe! Then she came out with this cape! Her onesie reminded me of those beach blankets that doesn't let the sand come through! With the cape, she could have quickly become a beach kite!
It's funny to watch these birds use up a whole spray can of sun screen in just four squirts! The rest becomes airborne and heads down wind! The gal with the vaping habit had a strange taste in flavors that we all got to smell down wind!
The young bucks spent the day getting up their courage through cans of beer. They decided they would all succeed or all go down in a ball of flames with an attempted hit on one of the many coneys around them. Crash and burn they did!
I think all the women over 40 were on sensory alert overload. They all spotted the one girl that had way too much to drink, being cared for by some guy she had just met today. We got a recap of her day from the bachelorette party that had been measuring her up all day! We are goimg to meet up with them tomorrow to add another chapter to "a day at the beach"!
Stay tuned......
Tuesday, April 3, 2018
Not Your Normal Day at HD
Working as a contractor at HD, I am asked daily, "do you work here?", "can you help me?", and a host of other questions. The best trick to avoid this is to NEVER look up! Some will stand there, waiting to ask you their question. Some just walk away, others persist in their waiting on you to look up, while others just bark out their question. Our usual response is "I don't work for HD." We are compensated on the items we assemble, so interruptions cost us time, which is money.
Today, my "don't look up" force field wasn't working! Three different customers broke through and "got me"!
Old Guy Gardener: This dude was looking for a rake. Not any rake, but one with a telescopic pole! Sir, all the rakes they have are right there. Old Guy Gardener dude would not give up. "well, I'm looking for a rake with a telescopic pole to use in my garden. Those on the rack will not do. Is there another area in the store where I can look?" Me: "Sir, you may want to ask someone in an orange apron, or ask at the service desk." Old Guy Gardener, "but why can't you help me??? Even more conversation. I have got to get that hat that says "I don't work here!"
Seven Acre lawn Guy: Hey mister, do you know anything about the Ariens zero turn mowers? Me: I take them out of the crates and prep them for sale. Dude: But are they any good? Me: Sir, I just take them out of the crate and prep them for sale. They are the most popular, and don't stay on the lot very long. Dude: But will it hold up? Me: That depends on the operator. Dude: That's true. Do many come back? Me: I take them out of the crate and prep them for sale. I need access to the intercom: "Manager! Complicated Order!!!!"
Middle Eastern Dudes: These two guys bought a small tiller. The manager brought them and the tiller to me. Manager: can you assemble this for them? Me: Now? Manager: Yes. How long will it take? Me: 3-4 hours. Kidding, 15 minutes. We instructed the two middle eastern dudes to go spent more money. Just as I was finishing up, they returned. I told them: "mix this container of 2 cycle oil with a gallon of gas, put use ethanol-free gasoline." Here it comes....
"My English is very poor. What is 2 cycle?" Five minute conversation about 2 cycle vs 4 cycle engines.
"I no have gallon can. I have five gallon can" Ok, mix 5 containers of 2 cycle oil with 5 gallons of gas, the non-ethanol kind. "What is ethanol gas? Another 5 minute conversation about gas.....
"How do I start it?" Me: read the instruction manual for the proper steps to operate this machine. Dude: "my English is very poor. Can you show me? Another 10 minutes to show him how to crank it. Then it dawns on him, "Oh, I have weedeater, like weedeater?" Me: yes just like weedeater!
"Can I use weedeater gas in tiller?" Yes! You got it!
"My mower, when I turn the key, the mower does not crank, just makes noise, like errerrerrerr.....". New Battery, I ask? "Yes new battery, must be starter?" Me: yes sounds like it. "You fix mower?" Me: No Sir! Check with tool rental at the other end of the store. "I not need to rent, I need to fix." Me: Tool rental can refer you to a repair shop.
They leave, then back again. "This the right oil? 2 cycle?" Me: Yes. Remember 5 containers to 5 gallons of gasoline. They leave. They return "I want box back." Me: here you go!
The younger guy looked like he understood everything. I ask, do you understand? He said yes, but he hardly said a word to the older guy, with limited English. And I'm an old southern redneck trying to explain! I'm guessing the younger guy did not want to embarrass the older guy in front of me!
I made $10 on that tiller. Build time and conversation took an hour. Now you know why we use the "don't look up" rule!
Today, my "don't look up" force field wasn't working! Three different customers broke through and "got me"!
Old Guy Gardener: This dude was looking for a rake. Not any rake, but one with a telescopic pole! Sir, all the rakes they have are right there. Old Guy Gardener dude would not give up. "well, I'm looking for a rake with a telescopic pole to use in my garden. Those on the rack will not do. Is there another area in the store where I can look?" Me: "Sir, you may want to ask someone in an orange apron, or ask at the service desk." Old Guy Gardener, "but why can't you help me??? Even more conversation. I have got to get that hat that says "I don't work here!"
Seven Acre lawn Guy: Hey mister, do you know anything about the Ariens zero turn mowers? Me: I take them out of the crates and prep them for sale. Dude: But are they any good? Me: Sir, I just take them out of the crate and prep them for sale. They are the most popular, and don't stay on the lot very long. Dude: But will it hold up? Me: That depends on the operator. Dude: That's true. Do many come back? Me: I take them out of the crate and prep them for sale. I need access to the intercom: "Manager! Complicated Order!!!!"
Middle Eastern Dudes: These two guys bought a small tiller. The manager brought them and the tiller to me. Manager: can you assemble this for them? Me: Now? Manager: Yes. How long will it take? Me: 3-4 hours. Kidding, 15 minutes. We instructed the two middle eastern dudes to go spent more money. Just as I was finishing up, they returned. I told them: "mix this container of 2 cycle oil with a gallon of gas, put use ethanol-free gasoline." Here it comes....
"My English is very poor. What is 2 cycle?" Five minute conversation about 2 cycle vs 4 cycle engines.
"I no have gallon can. I have five gallon can" Ok, mix 5 containers of 2 cycle oil with 5 gallons of gas, the non-ethanol kind. "What is ethanol gas? Another 5 minute conversation about gas.....
"How do I start it?" Me: read the instruction manual for the proper steps to operate this machine. Dude: "my English is very poor. Can you show me? Another 10 minutes to show him how to crank it. Then it dawns on him, "Oh, I have weedeater, like weedeater?" Me: yes just like weedeater!
"Can I use weedeater gas in tiller?" Yes! You got it!
"My mower, when I turn the key, the mower does not crank, just makes noise, like errerrerrerr.....". New Battery, I ask? "Yes new battery, must be starter?" Me: yes sounds like it. "You fix mower?" Me: No Sir! Check with tool rental at the other end of the store. "I not need to rent, I need to fix." Me: Tool rental can refer you to a repair shop.
They leave, then back again. "This the right oil? 2 cycle?" Me: Yes. Remember 5 containers to 5 gallons of gasoline. They leave. They return "I want box back." Me: here you go!
The younger guy looked like he understood everything. I ask, do you understand? He said yes, but he hardly said a word to the older guy, with limited English. And I'm an old southern redneck trying to explain! I'm guessing the younger guy did not want to embarrass the older guy in front of me!
I made $10 on that tiller. Build time and conversation took an hour. Now you know why we use the "don't look up" rule!
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