Toasted and Roasted but Still Creaking and Squeaking

As I get older, there are things that have begun to happen to me and my body, that only old people talked about or experienced.  Well, looks like I'm fast approaching that "next phase" of this wonderful thing called life.

The first sign was roller coasters.  Loved doing the mild ones with the spousal unit and the boys.  The look on Matthew's eyes when he road his first after finally reaching the minimum height limit.  Or when Morgan lost his favorite cap at Six Flags, Then opening up the package at home to find that the Park had mailed it back to him.  My stomach now twists and turns, my face turns green, and my whole body turns clammy for several hours.  Bring on the grand babies and the kiddie rides!

As most people know, I love to cook, and I love pepper.  The first sign was when I'd be eating wings at BWW, and the hair on the backside of my head would begin to sweat.  No problem, just turn down the heat a bit.  Now I feel like I'm blasting with dynamite.  Eat something hot now, then suffer "fire in the hole!" later! 

Used to be, when out on the town, I'd get the urge, go to the trough, and stand there and wait for things to get started.  Once the pressure got started, you felt a big aaahh.  Now, you stand there with other gents in similar situations, waiting for things to get started.  Someone will yell out "any progress down there?" and we all giggle, thinking not yet, but hopefully soon!  Had an old boss one time that was standing there, trying to find his soldier.  He suddenly figures out the problem and mumbles "damn, gott'em on backwards again.". I chuckled big time.  Happened to me a week later.

I guess I can adjust and adapt to a change in lifestyle:

  The other day I rode the electric shopping cart back to Lowes to save the card guy the trouble.  Kinda slow, but the stomach held up.

I figure I can add a little paprika to food for color, and I'm already using milder rubs that are low on cayenne pepper.

As I wake up each day, I reach for my daily dose of alieve for all the aches and pains in the joints.  The spousal unit now has a temporary handicapped parking permit, and that has been a life saver for her.  We look like two weebles wobbling walking down the road, but we don't fall down!

I have had bifocal eyewear for some time.  Now I find that I am taking them off to look and read at things up close.  Thankfully this has not effected my "bird watching".

I have reached milestone #57 this weekend.  Looking forward to many more.  Too many blogs to write to slow down now.  Already got the first beach trip booked for 2014, and working on the next one.

Life is good, all the time.  Don't sit still and let it pass you by.

Birthday Tour, Year 57

I'm not much Of a birthday party boy.  Never been one for the party scene.  But I do like road trips that involve food and people.  Birthday number 57 became a planned road trip to Nashville to see son #1, girly friend, and Henry Dog.

The day started off by making dog treats for Henry and cookies for the son.  Almost the same thing when you think about it.  Both will do just about anything for their favorite treat.

Bones for Henry

There are several routes to Nashville, but none of them are short.  Trace, I55 to I40 or the route we took, I20 to Birmingham, then up I65.  Probably come back I40 to I55 to break up the scenery.

A late start made lunch a "no brainer", Dreamland in Tuscaloosa!  Got there about 1:30 and you would have thought it was high noon.  Parking lot was totally full.  There was even security at the door.

Nothing like the original location

Tent for game day pickup. 

Notice the security guard blocking the door

 Never seen it like this.  Guess its an every weekend occurrence during home game weekends.  We had to wait a few minutes minutes to be granted access to a table, at DREAMLAND!  Ended up sharing a table with a couple, Kevin & Tiffany, from Covington, Louisiana.

New friends from Louisiana

Waitress came to take out order, and she actually "asked" is if we wanted to start with one slab.  I countered "when did y'all start asking?!  It was love at first sight!  First, the appetizer, barbecue sauce and white bread.  Best ever!  Turns out our table mate is a youth pastor at a Baptist Church down there in Catholic country.  He said a short blessing and even blessed me before we "broke bread" and grabbed a bone!

Big Poppa's chair

"Recent" addition to the menu

We got to the last bone on our plate, and Kevin and Tiffany both looked at me and asked "what was I waiting on"?  I had to tell them the story about the last slice of the Spousal unit's birthday cake.  Ever since I heard the words "bull shit ass hole", I refuse to take the last of anything.  Left that last rib sitting on that plate!

Last bone on the plate

The ribs at Dreamland aren't the best by any means.  But, the combination of the smoke, the atmosphere, and the sauce make these a treat worth the out of the way location.  But, don't ever get them to go to eat later.  Hot, or not, never cool.

Time to once again hit the road to Nashville.  Get to Birmingham and hit I65.  Very busy interstate.  Before long, gravity and three glasses of tea kick in.  We spot a sign for a Stuckey's up the road at exit 318.  They had us hooked!  Good thing, because we passed a couple of other stops along the way.  Stuckey's were the only roadside stops along the interstate when the system was opened.  Great concept, but got gobbled up by bigger players when they finally figured it out.  These were the original convenience stores where you could find just about anything:

gotta have a pecan roll

This little road side stop almost had every SEC school covered

Yep.  Vending machines in Tye bathroom

You, the Florida Gators and the Kentucky Wildcats can be saved by Jesus

This store was a stand alone operation on exit 318, complete with gas pumps, bathrooms, snacks and trinkets of all kinds, and even a grille and ice cream shop.  I got the thickest vanilla milkshake I'd ever seen.

Since all the Nashville area hotels were overloaded, we had booked a freebee out by Smyrna.  This Hampton Inn even had a complementary charging station for electric cars.

You would definitely need it for the power to get over the hills up here.  Hills they got.  Even saw what looked like a castle on top of one of the highway cutouts.  Love to see it on another trip.

Son #1 and his girly friend had plans for an outdoor concert.  Arriving layer than planned, we chose to "wing it" and see them the next day.

Time for dinner.  Since I had my Landry Select dining card, and since it as birthday month, I picked the Acquarium restaurant, one of Landry's latest selections.  The location was at he Opry Mills outlet mall.  Parking nightmare.  Once we entered inside, I immediately notice this lonesome cowboy up on the public stage, telling a story, tuning his guitar.  He had an audience of three.  DUDE!  Just play and sing before you lose these three!

We loved the restaurant.  Great wait staff, food was excellent, and a salt water aquarium to kill for!

Picture doesn't do this justice

Flounder Melissa

We had a great time.  The waiter, like Son #1 was a starving musician, but with a side job with food benefits.  He went out of his way to tell us all about the restaurant and the contents of the salt water aquarium.  If you have kids, great experience.  Dinner done, we decided to take in a movie.  Turns out this one sells beer.  Got to wondering when the "last call" would be since they don't have a "7th inning".  Saw the "Family".  Short on plot, big on violence and cussing, just what an R-rated movie calls for.

It way a great start to birthday tour #57.  Best part was sharing it with my best friend, the number one spousal unit in the universe!  Love ya babe, thanks for a great day!

Bucket List

Everyone has a few things that they always wanted to do but never have the time.  I call these my bucket list, like from the movie with Morgan Freeman:

1.  Visit the San Diego Zoo.  Been a zoo fan since my boys were little.  This one has been on my list for a long time.

2.  See the sun rise and sunset from Key West.  I've gotten older and I may have to have a nap in between

3.  Chicken on a stick at the Chevron Station on Lamar Avenue in Oxford, after a night game at OM.  For some reason, we never take the time to get this one done.  Happening soon!

4.  Grand Canyon

5.  Snow Angel.  never been enough around here, and what we do get has been "yellowed"!

6.  Take my grandkids to Orlando.  No hurry on this one Boys, we have plenty of time.

7. Hawaii.  Been there twice on Company trips.  Got timeshare credits to go.  Its just a long, long plane ride.

8 .U.S. Virgin Islands.  kinda like Hawaii, just got to get there!

9.  Smokey Mountains or Colorado during the winter time.  The busiest times of my working live have been during snow season.  Again, timeshare credits!

10. Heaven.  Can't wait to see my two grandmothers again.  No hurry on this one by any means.  Those two women meant the world to me.

11.  Cruise.  Been on one, ready for another.

12.  LSU tiger Stadium, wearing neutral colors.




Here are things that will never make my list:

1.  New York City.  Sorry, ain't happening

2. Climbing on my roof again.  Been there once, took too long to figure out how to get my big butt back on the ground.

3. Chase another woman.  Worked too hard to get and keep the one I got!

4.  Work for another asshole.  Life is much too short to work at a job that makes you unhappy,  depressed, and ill.

5.  Listen to someone who says "trust me".  Trust me on this one!

6.  Loan something out.  Burnt too many times on this one.  Need something of mine, I come with it. Got some folks that are referred to as the "borrowers"!

7. Trip to another country.  I like this one too much to leave.

8.  Massage, Manicure and pedicure.  Sorry, ain't nobody gonna be touching me.  Took too long to train the spousal unit!

9.  Class reunions.  Never been.  Got dragged to one by the spousal unit one time.  Pure punishment!

10. Roller coasters.  My mind says yes, but the body says puke, turn green, and feel awful for three hours.

Bucket lists are great for "been there, done that".  The essential thing is to get out there and do something.Took one of Morgan's friends, Nick, to Orlando.  The boy would not get on a roller coaster.  Last day, he tried one.  Couldn't get him off of them the rest of the day.  And to think he almost didn't try.

Get out there and enjoy what life has to offer.  God is good, all the time!

Don't Drink The Koolaid-Part II

And then there is the rest of the story.....

I was invited over to a "friend's" house to hear about a business opportunity.  Supposed to be low key, talk about it, sit back, enjoy a dinner and some wine.

First thing was "lets get the presentation out of the way".  Okee Dokee.  Got to hear this amazing story about financial freedom, and what great things I can have, just by "drinking the Koolaid, signing a contract, and writing a check for $2200.  I can then invite friends over, for a dinner , some wine, and tell them about this great business opportunity that will only cost me $2200.  Best part about it was that I would be getting all these commission dollars from getting others to "drink the Koolaid"!  Hummmm.  Sure sounded like a pyramid scheme to me.

The part that got me was when "Joe" said , "and the best part about this program is you don't have to sell anything"!  I looked at Steve and replied, "but Joe, you are selling something, you are selling yourself".  The business opportunity presentation is a "sales job"!

At the end of the night, we parted ways.  When I got home, I did my research on this business opportunity called "Team National".  They have a Dunn & Bradstreet number and an A+ Better Business Bureau rating.  The only complaints I could find was from people attempting to get a refund after the three day "free look".  I found a friend that had joined, but not done anything with it, and confirmed all the facts.  I then proceeded to write my blog posting, with no mention of my "friends" or the time we spent together.

A couple of nights later, around midnight, my phone begins to ring, but I do not answer any call that late.  Caller left two UGLY voice mails, then sent two followup text messages about what a scumbag I was.  Then my wife got the same calls and voice mail messages and text messages on her phone.  I still have the voice mails and text messages saved.

I have filed complaints with both the Better Business Bureau and Team National.  Interesting thing happens.  I get a reply from the department head of the complaint department at Team National.  They have a whole department to handle complaints??????

I have been "de-friended on Facebook and was told I would never be welcomed into their house again, not even for reunions for co-workers from an dead company that we had all  worked it.  I think back, and just realized that the only way they would have gotten our cell numbers was from the contact list everybody signed at the last reunion party.  Looks like they have a great source for contacts from hosting the reunion!

I will not be sharing this blog post to the public.  If you are reading it, you found it on your own.  If you are curious as to who these people are, I will be more than happy to share that information with you.  I might even let you see the texts and listen to the voice mails.

As mentions in the initial blog post:  Don't sign anything or pay out any money on the first date.  You will eventually find that the Koolaid is far too sweet, far sweeter than you ever imagined!

I

Football Saturday Starkville

Nothing like waking up to the sound of pouring rain that had started hours before.  This is normally music to one's ears during a dry spell, but this is Football Saturday, and one has to prep, pack, and hit the road for a "gimme win" in Starkville against Troy State, TROY STATE!

Game plan on what to take got altered.  Nix on hauling one of my fancy ice chest cooler boxes.  Add rolling cooler, wet boots and rain gear, expecting the worst and hoping for the best.

Ride up highway 25 was a continuation of the rainy wake up call from hours earlier.  But, as we got closer to our destination,  the weather began to let up.   The "always wrong" weather guy said no rain by 2:00.  Fingers crossed.

With two car loads of gear, our game plan Starkville was to meet up with our "mini me" and his girly friend and hit the unloading zone, one-two.  Girly friend came up with her own "plan B" and nixed Football Saturday for a visit with her sista. (No Bill Weems cookies for you!)

We arrived at the scene of tent city disaster.   Mangled tents were everywhere, results of too much rain water, and a few wind gusts through the night.   Tailgaters were slowly arriving, only to be greeted by these scenes of "rut row"!
 

Never fear!  Super Dads to the rescue everywhere.  Out came the tent repair kits:  rope, string, steel strapping, tent stakes, and of course, duct tape!  Suddenly this disasters became tent city once again, to be replaced with something new before the next home game.

Once the tents were back up, the logistics engineers began setting up camp.  A sea of maroon and white tents everywhere, with our $49 clearance red tents in the middle.  (Hey, I love a bargain, and they would be easy to spot in this sea of maroon and white.)  Once the tables were decorated and the satellite TVs were hooked up, the late comers never suspected that a disaster was here hours earlier.

Two older guys were next to us, with a tailgating setup that would rival anything a southern belle could put together.  Flowers, banners, ceramic dawgs, table cloth layering, and even a glass drink dispenser. Generator was humming, satellite dish was synced up, and crockpots were simmering all of grandma's favorite tailgating dishes.

Setup complete, time for tailgating.   Kids were throwing and kicking footballs and having a ball.  Several balls came awful close, and after a few threats of sticking a knife into the ball and forcing them to kiss their sister, they decided to just pass the ball, me grinning from ear to ear,  idle threat from this crusty crudmudgeon was a success!

Since the whole setup was for the MSU ultimate Frisbee team, the premise was for those boys to bring some items for the party.  Son soon learned that all they would bring would be a couple of packs of buns and big appetites. Son begins to understand the 20/80 rule.

Now past 2:00 and what do ya know.  The clouds begin to break up and disappear,  just like how the "always wrong" weather guy had said the night before.  A hand full of boys show up and they set up the latest game for Frisbee geeks, game called can-kan. Two pieces of plastic with a slit in the middle.  You make a garbage can out of the plastic.   Object is to: hit the can, get it in the can, and extra points for going thru the slit.



 

This new game was quite the attraction.  Had 20 guys and two girls.  One girl was a "retired" MSU cheerleader from Brookhaven.  I commented to her that I could not believe she would let a Frisbee game out attract her.  She said she was "needing a break"!  My kinda girl!

Boys found the food:
 

 















Notice the bark.  Used Gurlen #32 rub on the pork shoulders, delish!

I looked down for a second, and saw a photo opt that I could not resist taking.  Yep, it was a flip flop kinda day!
 

For power, I tried using some lawn tractor batteries.  Looked good, but no cigar.  Moving up to a full grown one for the next outing.






The playmate cooler was perfect for carrying, but Ever-ready bunnies they were not.

Ah..... The smell of charcoal, the sound of generators, the short maroon skirts and cowboy boots, and the clanging of cowbells. This is Starkville.  Every campus and their traditions are unique.  For MSU, its the Junction and the "Dawg Walk".   Before too long the buses arrived, and the football players unloaded for them  to do begin their walk.  Its a strut through the "Junction" on their way to the stadium.  The walk began, the cowbells were a clanging, and the fans are yelling "go dawgs"! Glad there are no fire hydrants on the route, just saying....it ain't Oxford. #hail State!

Soon, our campsite was abandoned, since the students have to go get in line for their first come, first served seating in their section.  My ole high school friend Buck the "Grin" came by for his adult  beverage.  Earlier, we visited with Mayor Dave from Monticello.  We closed down shop and headed to the stadium.

Lots of good things happening on Football Saturday at MSU.  End zone is being closed in.  New bathrooms and no more peeing into the trough on the floor.  New concession areas, level walkways and overall, a great game day appearance.

 

Defense scored first, then once the offense got clicking in the second quarter, the Dogs would win in a run away.  These games make everybody in maroon look like geniuses.  We will see next game.  Stay tuned..... 

Time to pack up and head to the house. Traffic cleared out early and one kid stayed to help, and yes,  he was rewarded with a take home feast the rest would envy.  This bag of bones has gotten too old to "do it all".  Time for the next generation to step up their game.  

Overall, a great game day experience, even for my Rebel Bride. Already planning the next menu!

 

Don't Drink the Koolaid

Everybody had heard of pyramid schemes that a friend has gotten into.  They try to sell you on just about everything under the sun:  Amway, vitamins, health food, and others.  You end up buying excess inventory to meet a quota and it stock piles in a spare room or garage.  Then, what do you do....

There is a new kid on the block, called Team National.  No products to sell.  You pay a membership fee to gain access to online shopping discounts, and with the lifetime plan, you get a commission on the items you buy through your own personal web site..  That is the premise.....

The attraction is the money they pay you for building a network of partners.  Each partner buys a lifetime membership and you are rewarded with a referral fee.  Guess where the money comes from, yep, the money paid in by your partners.

Each time your network adds another level of partners you again get paid.  They limit the number of levels on which you get paid, but you  can start up additional networks to continue the referral income money.

I checked several sites, but found very little negative information. It looks like you have to pay an annual fee of $75 for access to your website. There are discounts, but you can often beat the prices with a little Google searching.  And why pay a fee to get discounts.

Sales presentations are pretty slick, and they feed on your desire for easy money, just like all the pyramid networks.  Listen, take notes, but do not sign anything.  They give you a three day window for a refund, which passes quickly.  Ask to see the actual discounts from the stores with examples. 

Please do not "drink the Koolaid" on the first date.

Here She Is, Miss America!

Just finished watching the 2013 Miss America Pageant.  Back to back winners from the State of New York.  I can remember back to the Bert Parks days when it was truly a beauty pageant, full of swim suits, pageant dresses and lots of singing and piano players.

This year they had your normal talent performers: singers, violin players, and dancers.  But there were Bollywood performers, the tattoo lady archer now opera singer, river dance clogger and baton twirler.  Give me a break!

Natural beauty on these girls is never without enhancements.  Teeth are fixed, tans are sprayed, boobs are fluffed, stuffed, and puffed with assistance from surgery, padding, and even duct tape.  Dresses cost thousands of dollars, and of course they have to bring 3-6 outfits for each day, along with the makeup and hair care products.

Not sure about other State pageants, but in Mississippi, the winner has to pay her dues before earning her crown.  The dues includes a minimum of 3-4 years of being a contestant, and thousands of dollars spent on advertising in the pageant programs, hiring a convertible for the parade, and buying countless numbers of tickets for family members who want to attend one of the nights of the pageant.

I say its time to revamp the whole pageant process into a competition where the winner takes all.  Swimsuit competition would be replaced by a wet t-shirt contest, no points for second place.  Talent would be replaced by a mud wrestling contest.  Instead of a question and answer session, replace that with a watermelon seed spitting contest and a beer bong guzzling contest, with bonus points for the loudest burp!  The final round would be a series of field sobriety contests.  Money would be saved on dresses, who needs a tan when you have mud, and a beer company could sponsor the whole thing!

The current panel of judges also need to be replaced.  How can a basketball player, a gay boy band member, and a shark tank member be qualified to pick a beauty queen.  I say bring in the Olympic Ice skating panel.  We all know they are biased, but they know grace when they see it.

We have a Facebook Group that lives for the two pageants.  Participants can't wait for the next pageant season to roll around so they can read all of the commentary.  Of course, a true pageant addict has the "honey boo boo" contests and the regional contests to occupy them.

But, there is always Football Saturday, and all the bird watching!

You never know about a Guy named Joe

I went to Stewpot Food Pantry yesterday to do my due with buddies from St. Marks UMC, Denise Parker and Lisa Peacock.  Our church sends a work team there several times a year and we spend the week working in the food pantry.  Church members leave food donations at the church, so when I arrived at Stewpot, I was met by the humblest of people that come to the car to help carry in the items for the pantry.

Most of the time is spend bagging groceries for the folks in need.  Free time is spent doubling plastic bags that are then piled up for future use in the distribution of the food.  We also "re-bag" bulk items like flour, corn meal, sugar and rice.  Shelves are restocked from an old grocery cart that gets filled up from the big storage room that has more cans of green beans and corn than you could ever imagine.

Upon my arrival today, I discover that the chest freezer that had been on its last leg for the last several years had been replaced with a brand new one, courtesy of another church group.  I lifted the lid to see what was inside for today's distribution.  You literally never know what you will find in that freezer.  Today's find was Pizza Hut pizza, frozen loaf bread, and bags upon bags of shredded dark chicken meat. (I will never forget the hog head from a previous visit!)

I began noticing that the pantry was much neater than it had ever been.  All the can goods were neatly organized and stacked.  All the cereal boxes were lined up in orderly fashion.  I then begin to notice that one of the local helpers was busier than usual stacking additional items on the shelf.  While I was bagging flour and rice, he noticed that sugar and corn meal were low as well.  He offered to fetch additional bags of these items from the big storage room.

The man asked me how often I came, who I was with, etc...  I began to think, you know, this guy sure is asking a lot of questions.  We both compared notes.  Told him that I had been "retired" from a job I loved, much too soon.  He said, the same for him.  His name was Joe, and he was recently told he could no longer do the job he had performed for over 25 years.  He had been a truck driver.  The doctors told him he could no longer do the only job he had ever known.  His high blood pressure and diabetes had finally caught up with him.  He said that he is on dialysis three days a week and has been coming to Stewpot Tuesdays and Thursdays the last month to help out.  He is just too far spent on those days on dialysis.

Joe said, he knew that he should have been taking better care of himself over the years, but being a long haul truck driver, there was never time to eat right, sleep right, and see your doctor on a regular basis.  Well, he is doing it now.

I thoroughly enjoyed my time visiting with Joe today, and I hope that I will be seeing him on future work visits to Stewpot.  If  Joe was writing this he would probably end it by saying "eat right, sleep right, and see your doctor on a regular basis"!  Thank you Joe!

Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins, Not Your Average Kinfolk.

Growing up in the Mississippi Delta, it is hard to get away with much without a family member finding out about it, because in small towns you are surrounded by family, especially cousins.

These aren't your normal relatives.  These cousins are like an extension of your brothers and sisters.  You grow up playing with them, then you begin partying with them as young adults,  then you are there with them when an aunt or uncle has passed.

 

Probably my most memorable cousin moment was one Christmas.  Ole Aunt Evelyn had it in her head that we needed to read the Christmas story each family Christmas gathering.  Well, we had a new crop of cousins, and I don't think she trusted my brother and me with that Bible of hers.  Musta thought it would have burned up in our hands.  She may have been right!  Little cousin Brooke got the nod to be the first reader from the new testament.  She got through the Jesus story just fine, but she forgot to stop there.  She got to reading about Jesus getting circumcised. and that is where Ole Aunt Evelyn jumped back in and "cut her off"!  That was the end of the annual Christmas reading!

 

Had an uncle that treated me as if I was one of his. He took me along with his kids on fishing trips, and watched over us during early dove hunts.  He was the first adult to counsel me on the evils of drinking beer, "its like drinking your own piss" he used to say.  I never did have the courage to ask him how he knew that!

 

Later in life, my dear Aunt Beebsie developed breast cancer.  She had a mastectomy and was given a prosthesis.  Ole Aunt  Beebsie was blessed with more than her fair share of boob.  She had to put a sack of silver dollars to weight the prosthesis down to line up with the real one!  Vampires didn't dare come anywhere near her!

 

This lady was some kind of special to me.  I needed money and she paid me to paint some of the rooms in her house.  Being the mother of five kids, she also had need for a maid and cook.  My favorite was Pie.  One day at the dinner table, Aunt Beebsie began to recite some of the Hebrew that she had learned as a child.  Pie yelled out " Mrs. Beebsie, I didn't know you knew Chinaman"!

 

After Aunt Beebsie left us, my Uncle begun to get lonely.  He checked out all the availables and went to courting.  He met up with a woman, who had a daughter that my brother had tried to date several times.  I learned later that she objected to the dating because we came from Jewish heritage.  Well, my Uncle fancied her, and they got married.  That Easter we were having lunch at Barbie's house,  Since I was sitting at the same table with my "new" aunt, I just could not resist.  I said, "this ham is delicious, Miss Rae Kelly, don't you agree?"  She nodded approval.  I finished by saying "I believe its the best kosher ham I've ever eaten"!

 

My cousin Barbie at one time was a teacher in Pascagoula.   Her brother and I would load up and head down there for a weekend of fun.  Met the Stringfellow girls down there, along with some others.  What a fun group we were.  Of course, we ended up in New Orleans, and I the designated drunk driver, driving up and down Canal Street for an hour, looking for the interstate on ramp.  Barbie took over till we got out of the city, then this ole country boy took the wheel. We'd wake up not knowing how we made it back in one piece!

We have our share of fast cars, mine was a yellow firebird.  Got more tickets in that thing than during any other time of my life.  I blame a few of those tickets on the color of the car.  MHP could see me for miles before I fell under their radar!  There are several trees that wonder how we survived to an older age.  We may not have invented the expression "tree hugging drunk", but we sure put it to practice.

 

All that hard playing led to some hard living.  Eventually it catches up with you.  We all have high blood pressure, some have diabetes,  some have hepatitis,  and some have had bypass surgery.  All our joints ache when we get up in the morning, and we are all swallowing a hand full of pills each day.

 There are a lot more stories out there, but its not about the them, its all about the living and becoming them.  (Also been threatened if I tell too much!)  Yes, we survived.  Sewed our wild oats, so to speak.  We all met our future spouses, got married, and had our children.  From all the stories she had heard, the spousal unit was scared that one of the Stringfellow girls was gonna show up at our wedding!

 We don't get together as much as we should, but when we do the stories begin to pour out.  Our children haven't been privy to many of the stories.  They don't have a clue on how we parents know so much.  Well duh, we lived it.  Hopefully they will continue the tradition and make their own.

 Live is good, all the time.  Start living it!

Ain't no Spouse Like the one I Got!

Just thought I would take a minute to share some pictures of my best friend.  A man couldn't ask for a better spousal unit, they don't come no better than this:


When a line dance starts she will be in the middle of it!

Here she has her "cougar cub" by the necktie!



The "money dance" with the cougar cub on his wedding day!



Recouping from hip surgery pool side with fellow recoveree "Della"-knee surgery



My Rebelette cheerleader warming up for Football Saturdays!



Partying with "Faux-Lisa"!



With soriety sista's for life


a
With two young bucks from Notre Dame that showed up looking for some tickets and a meal.



Her good deeds started early in life!

This woman is the love of my life, to cherish from this day forward, til death do us part!

Beach Buddies

This one ain't watcha think.  No pictures, no jokes about the sights and sounds of the beach.  And the worst part is, I don't even get to enjoy it.

This one is about the "Greenwood Ya Ya Sisterhood".  The spousal unit has some very special friends from high school:  Susan King, Leslie Barlow, Dawn Reynolds Wilson, and Alisa Bowen Jernigan.  These five ladies have an annual Orange Beach/Gulf Shores  trip each year, just them, no men allowed.

The whole group is not always able to work out their schedules so that all can attend, but those that are not there in body, are definitely there is spirit.  I haven't been able to figure out if they have a bunch of male strippers show up, but they sure know how to keep each other entertained.

Last year, one of the girls couldn't make the trip.  So, on the ride down south, they stopped at an adult book store and picked up an inflatable doll, including wig. They named her " Faux-Lisa" in honor of their missing mate!  That babe got blowed up and dolled up, and where the gals went, so did she.  She was at the beach, she was in the hot tub, and even went out to eat.  At the Flor-Bama, she even did the zip line to the stage!



Toward the end of the trip, their blowup friend developed a leak and had to stay home.  Some folks in the restaurant spotted them and yelled "hey! where's ya'll's friend?!"

I am so glad that the spousal unit has these friends and that they are able to make the time to go hang out at the beach for a week and do nothing but be girls again and have a blast.

I've been practicing all summer in hopes of being drafted as their "resident beach boy" for next year, but as hard as I try, I don't think its gonna happen.  What happens on the beach, stays on the beach, and no men allowed!

 So, SALUTE! of the Greenwood Ya Ya Sistahood!

I ain't no Ole Miss Rebel, but I dressed like one Saturday

Game Day:
Saturday.  Game day.  First home game in Starkville. First home game in Starkville.  What to do, what to do?  Since I live in a "house divided" some tough decisions have to be made.  We line up the schedules, figure out the "no brainers" then flip a coin on the conflicts to see what colors to we will be wearing on Football Saturday.  Since TSUN only has one home game in September, Oxford was the winner this go round.

Pit Stop:
The roads to Oxford and Starkville are a whole lot easier these days compared to "back when I was in school".  Now you have four lane highways headed in both directions. 

I was so fired up about Football Saturday that I was up at the butt crack of dawn.  All the tailgate gear was packed the night before, just needing to be loaded up at early rise.   I had a cypress bench to deliver, so packing had to be loaded around that.  Also loaded up one of my ice chest cooler boxes to use as a refrigerator for all the "foo foo food" that needed to be kept cool.  Got it all packed, hopped in the drivers seat, cranked up the Kia, then oh CRAP!  The spousal unit was still in the bed cutting those zzz's with the CPAP machine justa humming.  I shoulda thrown a yellow hankie at her for delay of game!

Pit Stop:
We finally got on the road about 10:00 and up I-55 we went.  I learned long ago it is better to be slow and safe, compared to fast and pulled over, or God forbid, in a wreck.  Got a call from a friend that needed a favor.  Her SUV broke down on her during her gas stop in Grenada.  She couldn't find her parking pass so she asked me to stop and look through the car.    Get there, find the hidden key, and open the door.  Found coffee cups, cigarette butts, six changes of clothes, several beach towels, lots of unopened junk mail, but no parking pass.  That girl must live in that vehicle.

Since we had stopped, it made since to kill a few errands at one time.  Topped off the gas tank, got the bottled water for the chafing dish, got the ice for the ice chest cooler box, then went across the street to the local liquor store for a bottle of tequila that we needed for Sunday.  Oh Lord!  I step through the door of the Sunset Liquor Store and it looked almost abandoned, nothing, literally nothing in the center of the store.  All four walls were lined up with shelves, stocked with everything needed for a good ole drunk in the Grenada County Hills on a Saturday night.  Don't even think about asking about the wine selection in a place like this!  I looked for the clerk, and there he was.  Good ole Bubba, all decked out in a stained covered wife beater t-shirt.  I asked about Tequila, and he just pointed, saying nothing.  I looked though his selections, no Cuevro Gold.  I politely inquired, and his answer was, "ain't no gold in here, just silver and 1800".  Silver it was.  Bubba turns out to be quite the math genious. All the prices were listed with so many dollars and a bunch of odd cents. Bubba done priced everthang so that it would ring up even dollars including sales tax!  Don't think he even had any coins in the register.  You have got to stop by and see Bubba's operation for yourself the next time you take a break in Grenada.

Final Approach:
As you reach Batesville you take the exit to highway 6.  On the right is a gas station that has all the party supplies that you forgot to pack and then some.  There is even a Rebel Shop in a trailer in the parking lot for those that forgot and wore the wrong color shirt for game day.

As you get closer to Oxford, you have to take pause, and remember the poor gals that were killed or injured on a charity walk on this highway, as you pass the memorial that was erected to honor them.  There are a lot of things that happen in this world that make you wonder "why", and this is one of them.

City Limits:
It always cracks me up to see the line of cars in the left lane once you enter the city limits of Oxford.  Everybody wants to turn left on Jackson Avenue.  There are three more exits right down the road that end up in the middle of campus!  Must be getting a bite to eat, Shopping at Rebel Rags, or loading up on tailgate supplies at the Wally World.

We take the last exit on Lamar that leads to downtown, the Square, and University Avenue.  The exit off 6 at Lamar has  "round-a-bouts" on each side of the bridge.  There has been many a country boy that has gotten caught up in one of those loops where he has either backed up traffic waiting his turn, or he is in a continual loop and can't figure out how to get off! 

The first sighting of what the day will bring was one of those self serve ice machines.  It was only 1:00 pm, with a 6:30 kickoff, and they had already put up the "sold out" sign.

Parking:
With the new parking policy, I knew that some would take advantage of the situation to their profit!  Didn't realize it would be the local churches!  The Baptist kept their price steady at $20.  The enterprising Methodists marked theirs up from $20 to $30.  The Catholics in previous years had figured it out and theirs was reserved parking only.

On game day 2013, you can enter the campus up to 3 hours before kickoff to unload your supplies and passengers, but you have to have a parking pass to park your vehicle on campus.  This was especially troublesome for the families that had large blocks of tickets, but get only one parking pass for a fee of $100.  I damn near had three or four fender benders just trying to unload.  Those hem lines on those coeds keep getting shorter and shorter!  Thank you Lord for blessing me with two boys!

I think the University had more security working the parking issue today than they had in the 1960's on the day when the first black kid, James  Meredith, was enrolled as a student.

We were fortunate enough to get assigned to the Ford Center parking, which is one a hop, skip and a jump from the Grove.

Tailgating:
We are fortunate enough to have friends that locate their tent on the corner as you cross the bridge on University Avenue, right next to the "Popo Tent".  Here is a picture of me and the spousal unit with the "Popo" in the background:

As a surprised, I got all decked out in the color of the day for my Rebellion Friends"

Yep! even my shoes wear red.

My dear friend Marian, remarked that I truly must be going through the change.  I just fired back "I may be red on the outside today, but I am true maroon on the inside, including my boxers!"  Tried to get her to look but she turned her head away in just the nick of time!

The ice chest cooler box I brought was a great addition.  It became the designated refrigerator for those "foo foo" items that can't take the heat, like those deviled eggs!


People have finally figured out the little party wagons, as we had three identical red ones!  My buddy Thom commented that after seeing mine, he had to get one.  He was glad he did, because his parking lot was on the back side of nowhere!

To me, the best part of being in the Grove is the bird watching.  It must have been a tough summer state wide, as the plumage on the coeds has gotten shorter and shorter. My buddy Thom and I agreed that on our next trip to Oxford, we would be bringing a wooden yard stick and a t-shirt printed with "skirt alert". If these coeds come by with dresses and skirts shorter than my shirt tail, we are gonna yell "skirt alert!" And turn them around and send them home! (We would probably be out numbered!)

The Game:
These days, schools have a designated game day color.  Today of course, was red.  As you entered the stadium, all you saw was a sea of red.  And hot, oh it was hot.  You can pay $8 for a large stadium cup that has refills.  Mine ended up averaging $2 per cup full.  I highly recommend it on a hot day.

They have a "freshmen run" at the first home game.  The freshmen all line up outside the stadium, and they get to run the length of the field to the student section.  There is no way that security has validated all of those tickets of these freshmen.  It is amazing to see how many freshmen there are on campus each year.

During one of the game breaks, Cspire, the cell phone company, gave away a car to one of five students that had the highest rebel reward points accumulated from last year.   I got to wondering, are they are going honor the student with the highest number of parking tickets from last year at the next game?

As predicted, the game against Southeast Missouri was a runaway.  Before the beginning of the second half all the frat boys and their dates had left the Vaught!

Potty Break:
On a hot game day Saturday, you will eventually have mother nature come a calling.  As you age your body starts going through changes.  I have officially reached the latter stages of manhood.  Me and four older guys were all lined up at the urinal, and nothing was happening.  Not a drop.  Felt like I was a kid again that had consumed too much alcohol.  No matter how hard I tried, nothing!  Finally one of the old guys hollered "anybody having any luck down the line?"  All of a sudden the whole bathroom broke out in laughter.  Seems nobody was having any luck, since we had all sweated out most of the liquid we had consumed.  Finally, the Ah's began, relief!  Another round of laughter began.

Time to Go:
Game over, back to the Grove you go.  Some begin to immediately pack up, others sit down and discuss the days events while waiting for traffic to clear.  We try to figure which little red wagon belongs to whom. We get everything all packed up and loaded up with the exception of the tent.  Tent guy comes by later.  Great investment by friend Charla!

Since traffic had now cleared, I was able to pull my KIA up to the curb.  Some ole boys noticed my MSU Dad sticker on the window and they said, "Hey lady, what's with the State sticker, you need to get rid of that"  The spousal unit replied "I live in a divided household, Hotty Toddy!"  With that those boys were very apologetic and came back and gave her a hug and together that all yelled their Hotty Toddy cheer, Momma and the young'n's!  Love it!

 As we are driving down highway 6 towards Batesville, I kept smelling something.  I didn't figure it out until we got to I-55.  It was ME!

What a day.  Got to spend quality time with my wife, see lots of friends that went to the wrong school, and practice my bird watching skills.  Ain't nothing like the South on College Game Day.

Life is good, live it each day, for tomorrow you will be gone.  For all my Ole Miss friends, Hotty Titty!, I mean Hotty Toddy! Go Dogs!

I Got the Unemployment Check Blues

Well, my life changing event that occurred nineteen months ago has reached another milestone.  As of tomorrow, I will have received my final unemployment check, unless the Federal Government and the State of Mississippi grants another extension.

For those of you that have been fortunate enough to miss out on this, it has been quite an experience.  Each week you have to go online and file your weekly certification that says you are able to work, but still unemployed.  In addition to that you have to submit a minimum of three job applications that you applied for that week.  This is easily done through careerbuilder.com. Also included in this process are two free visits to the MS WIN job center office, where they verify that you are living and breathing.

Here is the kicker:  I have been counted as "unemployed" for the nineteen months.  Next month, even though I will be still unemployed, I fall out of the statistical count, neither employed or unemployed.  Government's way of counting only includes the bodies they are paying.

I'm not a whiner, I'm not a complainer, and I'm not a "poor pitiful me" person.  I have definitely made the most of my "retirement" with tag-a-logs with the spousal unit on business trips, and vacations in the timeshares we have acquired over time.

There  are both "downers and uppers that come with the territory.  These are for readers that are or  about to follow in my unemployment footsteps:

Downers:

1.  Medical insurance.  While I was employed, I had excellent medical coverage.  Some of the best I had ever seen.  Once you become unemployed, you are allowed to continue the coverage for a period of months, at the full premium, with no discount called COBRA.  My premium skyrocketed when the employer paid portion became my responsibility.  Fortunately for me, my wife's insurance plan picked us up, at a discounted rate.

2.  Life insurance.  I had very good life insurance benefits, at affordable rates.  Because it was group term insurance, the only conversion available was an individual term product, where again, the premium for the same coverage skyrocketed.  Only affordable option for me was a lot less coverage with an independent carrier.

5.  Finances.  I have been fortunate enough to have some resources for the road before me.  I had one son finish college, but unemployed, and another son just starting college.  Between scholarships, student loans, and college savings plans, the schooling is taken care of.  Please plan ahead people.  Every penny adds up.  I used to eat restaurant lunches five days a week.  Now peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and pop tarts are my two best friends. 

4.  Work friends.  You work with people for 18+ years, and you develop a kinship with them.  Not like family, but more than "just punching a clock".  Suddenly, you are alone, and very quickly those "work friends" become "former fellow employees", then just people you used to "work with".  I am a people person, and this hard been the hardest thing for me to adjust to.  I still have two dear friends that I occasionally meet for lunch, but that is about it.

Positives:

1.  I wake up everyday with a smile on my face.  Don't do a job because you are good at it, do it because you enjoy it.  After I informed my wife and oldest son of my situation, the oldest called the youngest at school and said "something is wrong with Dad".  The youngest asked if he needed to come home.  The oldest said "stay at school.  The old man is smiling"! Suddenly, I realized that  I had forgotten how to smile.  It finally occurred to me that I was depressed, for more years than I would admit!  I have not used an alarm clock in nineteen months and I am awake earlier than ever and ready to take on the world.

2.  I found a great financial planner that has consolidated all of my retirement assets under one umbrella.  Together we are working on a strategy for me that hopefully, will allow me to survive to old age.  If you haven't begun to save, shame on you.  Start now.  Make a plan and stick with it.

3.  Social media has been a life saver for me.  I have reconnected with hundreds of friends from elementary school to former co-workers.  This is a far cry from public interaction, but hey, its free and most importantly its fun!

4.  Besides taking trips, I also occupy my time doing charity work and a hobby or two.  The first summer I was cutting the front lawns of all my neighbors while they were at work.  Believe it or not, some asked me to stop, for one reason or another.  Once the heat of July and August got here, I just stuck with mine.  Pick a charity, but don't let the charity pick you.  My time is spent with my local church, Stewpot Food Pantry, and several others. 

5.  I have been able to spend time with my wife and sons.  My wife and I have become more closely connected.  We are more bonded together than at any other time of our marriage.  I live you babe.

6.  Pick up a hobby.  Me, I bucket garden, "can" the harvest, twiddle with wood working, and have cooked for  some terminally ill friends.   I even started this blog, at the encouragement of my boys and a few supportive friends. Get busy, stay busy.  Stop, and you will rust, fall apart, and die.

I have been thinking about writing this one for a long time.  The timing was never right, but with the "last check", it just felt right.  .  With a few exceptions, I don't know who you are.  It doesn't even matter, because you are there, you are reading my words, and you are thinking about what I have to say, and for that, I "thank you"!

Call Me Old Fashioned, but...

There are a lot of old traditions that seem to be disappearing, but not in my book.....

Open Door Policy:
With the invention of the automatic door openers that have been installed in retail stores, boys, and even men, have forgotten how to open a door for a woman.  Part of the problem is that people are in too big of a hurry.  It is my policy to always take a look behind me when I reach to open a door.  You will never notice the woman pushing the stroller or the older woman with a walker if you don't take a second to look.

A Bridge too Far:
Its funny how you are in need of a particular item in a store and it is on the top shelf, just out of reach.  This is especially true for women that are short in statue.  If you see someone struggling to reach an item on a shelf, take the time to reach for them.  Being an impatient kind of guy, I have been known to grab a stick and just knock it off the shelf!

Hugga Hugga:
This is something that's been hard for me to do.  I grew up in a family atmosphere where you just didn't touch each other.  My youngest makes sure that he gets a big ole hug from me every time we say goodbye.  I'm learning that there are advantages to hugging women.   They smell good, and feel good, especially the ones with all the curves.  I feel like I might break the little petite ones if I squeeze them too hard.


Phone Call:
Nothing I hate worse than my two boys not answering their cell phone.  We pay the bill, answer it.  They, like others of their generation would prefer to text everything.  Me, I want to hear your voice.  You pick up on a lot more by listening to the sound and patterns of the spoken word.  You often ask the question "how are you?"  You can learn a lot about a person just in the way they say the word "fine".

Last Piece:
I have learned the hard way, never, ever, eat the last piece of your spousal unit's birthday cake.  Trust me on this one, it ain't pretty.  When I had my first roommate, it would frustrate me to no end to open up the refrigerator and discover an empty pitcher of Koolaid on the shelf.  Drink the last glass, make a fresh pitcher. 

Church Mouse:
My momma always said, "if you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything at all."    I've never been much on small talk, I'll either talk your ear off on a topic of interest, or I'll just sit back and take a listen.  I've even been known to take a seat and "play possum".

Valet Parking:
As we get older, our body parts don't want to work like they used to.  A bottle of Aleve has become my new best friend.  When going to a restaurant, pull up to the curb, and let everyone out at the door, then go find the closest parking spot.  One advantage to this is your name gets put on the seating list a little sooner.

Thank you cards:
I will always remember my high school senior English teacher, Evelyn North.  She told us that as graduating seniors, we would be receiving gifts from friends and relatives.  She stated that is most proper to respond with a thank you card.  She reminded us, that when you are shopping for "thank you cards" remember that the "thank you" belongs inside of the card, not on front! She said to be sure to put something personal in the card, since the "giver" took the time to get you a gift, you in turn should take the time to offer a proper thank you.  I am always finding humor in the thank you cards we do get.  I find it odd that some young married couples don't even bother replying with a card.

Borrowing:
Me, I would rather go to the store and buy an item rather than ask a friend or neighbor if I could "borrow" theirs.  When I cook, I always make sure I have all the basic ingredients first.  What's up with borrowing an egg, a cup of sugar or flour?  Are these items ever returned?  Got a sister in law that has been nicknamed the "borrower", because the only time she comes over is to borrow something.  I have come to the conclusion that everything that gets borrowed needs a bungee cord attached so that it comes back in a timely manner.  More often than not, I find myself going to retrieve my stuff.  Must be where that old expression "possession is 9/10th of the law" came from!

Sit and Wait:
Seems like we have become a "hurry up, then wait" society.  You rush to the emergency room, only to wait to be seen.  You run to the next amusement ride, only to find a line with more curves than a water hose.  When I am at a restaurant, waiting for a table, I will give up my seat for a woman, old our young.  Give it a try.  Standing for 10-15 minutes is not a lifetime.

Remember to slow your pace down when you feel you are in a rush.  That traffic light will turn green again.  The elevator door will open again.  Life is good, take the time to enjoy it!

Tailgating Essentials

If you are going to a college football game this year, there are some things that are "essential" and other things, not so much.  Here is a list of a variety of the "essentials":


A food tent.  Really??  If its cooked right, smells right, then the flies go to some other tent!


Games are an optional pastime.  Me, I'm too busy taking in the sights, sounds, and smells of the day.  And the "bird watching" O M G!!!!!

A chafing dish is an absolute must.  This is the disposable version.  Good for keeping things hot, like Rotel, Pulled Pork, meatballs, jambalaya etc...  I have four keepers that are used all tailgate Saturday season long.


Drinks gotta be kept cold, and this is a pretty cool one.  Sista in law gave me one of these and it will be put to good use.

I'm planning on taking this bad boy to Oxford this weekend to see how it works out for tailgating.  Might even get a sale or two out of it.  Ya never know......


If you are going to tailgate, you have got to get yourself a tent.  No ordinary tent will do.  The top must represent your school colors, and be decked out in your finest party attire.  Table cloths, Chandiliers, TV's and satellite dishes are not a mainstay.  There are no strangers when it comes to tailgating, all starving college students are welcomed at these tables, since we all once a time or two in our youth.  Quite a few college kids are making a good living setting up and taking down these tents.  They are paid handsomely to secure the same spot week after week.

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A wheeled cooler and wagon are a must, if you are going to tailgate properly.  Parking is now at a premium, and reserved paid parking spots are now the norm.  This particular wagon fold up for ease of storing and transporting.  The only negative is that it kinda has a mind of its own and goes where it



What is a tailgate party without cups.  The "red solo cup" is legendary, but it is being replaced by cups imprinted with a variety of things.  Plus, they hold your favorite adult beverage....
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With all the hoopla on campus, it is inevitable that gravity will kick in.  There is no way that the facilities on campus can accommodate the crowd.  Universities have begun adding  port-a-johns and portable bathrooms like this one found at Ole Miss:


There are also companies that will set you up with a complete tailgate package for over $3,000 per year. 


The tailgating season has just begun so you still have time to get your essentials in order.  If you make it to Oxford or Starkville, look me and the spousal unit up.  We have tickets for both!

Life is good.  Get out there and enjoy it!