My Dad

Everyone has special relationships with their parents and lots of stories to tell regarding their special bonds with each other. My relationship with my father was a bit strange, in that we didn't really have one, at all.  This seems kind of sad, but in many ways it made me stronger and taught me lessons that I have used as a man and as a father to my own children.  For that, I am thankful!

When I was 10 and my brother was 8, we asked for an allowance to have spending money.  Instead, he loaned us his lawnmower, and had us cutting his, my grandparents, and a neighbors yards.  We did not get paid for cutting his, that was the cost for using his mower.  We learned the value of earning a dollar.

When I was thirteen, I asked for a new bicycle.  My dad told me that if I wanted a new bicycle, I would have to spend my own money to buy it.  I learned to work hard and save my money for the things I valued in life.  I saved up, bought that bicycle, a banana seater, and even used it to earn a bicycling merit badge in the Boy Scouts.  From that point on and throughout my adult life I have never asked him or any other individual for a dime.  We did borrow some money from my in laws for a down payment on a house, under a signature loan that was paid in full at the end of the terms of the loan.

There was never any time for family vacations.  With farming, there was never enough hours in the day to tend to the crops.  We only took one family vacation during that time, but Mom did her best to entertain us with short excursions as time and money would allow. By the time my Dad had changed occupations, the three of us kids were already out of the house.

When the gas line pipe blew out at the reservoir, LaNelle was pregnant with our first born,  It was around 2 am, in a panic, I called my dad, expressing concern about the welfare of my wife and unborn child.  I was cool, calm, and collected, until he answered the phone, and I just fell apart with emotions.  He very calmly asked me if I was breathing, and I replied yes.  He then said, well you'll also be breathing at 8 am, call back then, and hung up.  That taught me to always remain calm, think things out, and to never call him after hours unless i was near death.  As luck would have it, over 33 years later, I  never had to make another call like that to him again.

My Dad was never there for me during athletic events.  He was too busy working to support a family of five.  Anything else would have to come later.  I used his work ethic to my advantage.  I learned to work hard and manage my time, and make a good living so that I could be there for my two boys through their teenage years.  I coached T-ball, buddy ball, and soccer.  I hated every minute of coaching, knowing there was someone else much more capable out there, much better at it than me.  But those guys were far and few to find.  Two friends of mine called it being "just a dad". In spite of all the stress that came with being a coach, I was there for my boys, and no one can ever take that away from me!  Later I became the treasurer for the band boosters, raising money to fund the the band.  I was also the manager for select soccer team, making sure that all the logistics were taken care of so the coach could coach, and the boys could play! 

After retirement, my Dad took up his favorite past time, gardening.  He got his green thumb from his mom.  He cared so much for his home town so much that he ran for Mayor and served two full terms.  The towns legal representative asked him if he realized that he had applied and gotten grant money for the town practically every year he was in office.  My Dad replied, I was just doing my job.

During the winter months, when gardening tapered off, he would make his "social security stew".  This was his recipe for Brunswick stew that he would make, using a lot of ingredients out of his garden.  He would then distribute it to the ladies in town that were on social security.  you either got a pint or a quart.  It is a guarded secret that he took to his grave on what determined who got what!

Unknown to the citizens of his town, he used part of his salary to complete public works projects and support the police department.  Dad, thank you for your service.

My parents were the go to citizens for recycling aluminum cans. Towns people would bring them by, they would save them up, cash the in, and spend the money on their travels.

So while I didn't get the traditional kind of support from my Dad that you might expect, I did learn some valuable lessons from him that I have tried to pass on to my two boys.  Hopefully they too will appreciate those lessons and pass them on to their children.

Tomorrow, we lay my Dad to rest, with a military graveside service.  Dad, thank you for your service!  Time to now rest!

Old School, New School

My two boys continually remind me that they live 2+ and 4+ hours away from our Condo in that town up north, and it is just not practical for them to get in their cars and drive over for the day or an overnight stay, but we do get an occasional visit. Granted, both of their spousal units are nurses, and scheduling can be a challenge, but their old man ain't getting any younger.

They want hardships, I'll give them hardships:

1.  They have heated car seats.  We were lucky to have seats without a hole in them.

2. They have google maps.  We used paper maps that we picked up at all the rest stops as we traveled around!

3.  They have electric windows.  We had the self crank, which I don't think either have ever had to use.

4. They have satellite radio, apple play, android pay, pandora.  We had an am/fm radio!

5.  They have tires that tell them their psi, and give a warning when one is under inflated.  We had to walk around, kick the tires, and manually check the psi!

6.  They have in car mounted tv's.  We had a dang etch-a-sketch!

7. They have autopilot, if they pay for it.  All we had was on occasional back seat driver!

8.  They have their choice of fast food restaurants at any exit.  We had pack a picnic and stop at the rest areas.

9. They have self diagnostic plug in ports to trouble shoot maintenance issues.  We had Uncle Joe, the shade tree mechanic!

10.  They have sensors that tell them how many miles are left on a tank of gas.  We were lucky if the gas gauge even worked!

11.  They have hands fee cell phone calling.  We be like,cell phone??????

12.  They have paypal and venmo.  We had a wallet full of cash!

13.  They have their electronic video games for travel entertainment.  We had spot the items on the side of the road bingo!

14.  They have YELP to help them decide where to go, what to eat.  We be like, leftovers, again???

15.  They have over the top safety measures and the latest in car seat design.  We rode in the back bed of a pickup truck!

16.  They have the latest in tire rims, with spinners and low profile tires.  We were lucky to have four tires that match!

17.  They have gasoline prices that drain the pocket book.  We had $.50 per gallon, HA!

18.  They sell their personal stuff on social media.  We collected coke bottles and returned them for the deposit money and recycled aluminum cans for money.

19. They go to the grocery store and pick up a couple of pounds of shrimp, steamed.  We had to first thaw out the five pound frozen brick!

20.  They have chicken tenders and boneless wings.  We had the KFC bucket, then the convenience store fried chicken and jojo potatoes!

So yeah, they have it hard, real hard.  They don't even have any kids to deal with, but one is in the oven!  This list of 20 can grow a whole lot longer.  I didn't even get to the part about walking 4 miles in the snow , backwards, just to get to the bus stop!