My Dad

Everyone has special relationships with their parents and lots of stories to tell regarding their special bonds with each other. My relationship with my father was a bit strange, in that we didn't really have one, at all.  This seems kind of sad, but in many ways it made me stronger and taught me lessons that I have used as a man and as a father to my own children.  For that, I am thankful!

When I was 10 and my brother was 8, we asked for an allowance to have spending money.  Instead, he loaned us his lawnmower, and had us cutting his, my grandparents, and a neighbors yards.  We did not get paid for cutting his, that was the cost for using his mower.  We learned the value of earning a dollar.

When I was thirteen, I asked for a new bicycle.  My dad told me that if I wanted a new bicycle, I would have to spend my own money to buy it.  I learned to work hard and save my money for the things I valued in life.  I saved up, bought that bicycle, a banana seater, and even used it to earn a bicycling merit badge in the Boy Scouts.  From that point on and throughout my adult life I have never asked him or any other individual for a dime.  We did borrow some money from my in laws for a down payment on a house, under a signature loan that was paid in full at the end of the terms of the loan.

There was never any time for family vacations.  With farming, there was never enough hours in the day to tend to the crops.  We only took one family vacation during that time, but Mom did her best to entertain us with short excursions as time and money would allow. By the time my Dad had changed occupations, the three of us kids were already out of the house.

When the gas line pipe blew out at the reservoir, LaNelle was pregnant with our first born,  It was around 2 am, in a panic, I called my dad, expressing concern about the welfare of my wife and unborn child.  I was cool, calm, and collected, until he answered the phone, and I just fell apart with emotions.  He very calmly asked me if I was breathing, and I replied yes.  He then said, well you'll also be breathing at 8 am, call back then, and hung up.  That taught me to always remain calm, think things out, and to never call him after hours unless i was near death.  As luck would have it, over 33 years later, I  never had to make another call like that to him again.

My Dad was never there for me during athletic events.  He was too busy working to support a family of five.  Anything else would have to come later.  I used his work ethic to my advantage.  I learned to work hard and manage my time, and make a good living so that I could be there for my two boys through their teenage years.  I coached T-ball, buddy ball, and soccer.  I hated every minute of coaching, knowing there was someone else much more capable out there, much better at it than me.  But those guys were far and few to find.  Two friends of mine called it being "just a dad". In spite of all the stress that came with being a coach, I was there for my boys, and no one can ever take that away from me!  Later I became the treasurer for the band boosters, raising money to fund the the band.  I was also the manager for select soccer team, making sure that all the logistics were taken care of so the coach could coach, and the boys could play! 

After retirement, my Dad took up his favorite past time, gardening.  He got his green thumb from his mom.  He cared so much for his home town so much that he ran for Mayor and served two full terms.  The towns legal representative asked him if he realized that he had applied and gotten grant money for the town practically every year he was in office.  My Dad replied, I was just doing my job.

During the winter months, when gardening tapered off, he would make his "social security stew".  This was his recipe for Brunswick stew that he would make, using a lot of ingredients out of his garden.  He would then distribute it to the ladies in town that were on social security.  you either got a pint or a quart.  It is a guarded secret that he took to his grave on what determined who got what!

Unknown to the citizens of his town, he used part of his salary to complete public works projects and support the police department.  Dad, thank you for your service.

My parents were the go to citizens for recycling aluminum cans. Towns people would bring them by, they would save them up, cash the in, and spend the money on their travels.

So while I didn't get the traditional kind of support from my Dad that you might expect, I did learn some valuable lessons from him that I have tried to pass on to my two boys.  Hopefully they too will appreciate those lessons and pass them on to their children.

Tomorrow, we lay my Dad to rest, with a military graveside service.  Dad, thank you for your service!  Time to now rest!