This younger generation has made the traditional relationships with their mate a thing of the past. You like her, she likes you, hey, lets move in together! But, before you pack your bags, and move out of mamma's house, there are ten rules you must observe and obey:
1. Bathrooms: girls do not share their bathroom, period. You will be granted access to the guest bathroom. You must keep this room neat and tidy at all times. No beard hair in the sink! And the cardinal rule to never break-never use the monogrammed towels to dry your hands and do not use that special bar of soap in the dish! That soap is for guest only!
2. Toilet seat: the seat must be in the down position at all times. If you miss or spatter, wipe it down! And don't just flush and go! You must remain in a holding pattern until the completion of the water cycle! Most women prefer the lid down also.
3. Toilet Paper: you must observe the paper flow of the roll of paper before using up the roll. The woman of the household has a particular preference, paper under, or paper over. Do not make light of this. Your relationship with this woman depends on it.
4. Running water: during the first six-twelve months of your stay, you will notice that the woman of the house runs the water in the sink, while they are in that room doing their business. Once the gal of the house becomes comfortable with you in the house, then the running water will stop, and then you will notice the sounds of the jungle coming from behind that door!
5. Closets: your best hope is that the bedrooms have walk in closets. If not, you best get used to living out of your suitcase! The bedroom closet will be full of this season's clothing, and the other bedroom closets will be full of the other seasonal clothing.
6. Refrigerator: forget having space for your twelve pack of your favorite beer. The refrigerator will be full of bottles of white wine, cottage cheese, yogurt, and sugar free flavored water! The veggie bins will be full of, you guessed it, veggies!
7. TV: don't even think of reprogramming the favorite tv channels on the TV, even if its yours! The remote control is her domain!
8. Laundry: stick with just washing your own clothes, until she gives you permission to run a load for her. On each and every item, you must check the recommended laundry procedures, as some items will need to be sent to the dry cleaners, and you must separate the whites, from the pastels, from the dark colors. When removing items from the dryer, have a pair of tongs handy, in case you come across her thong underwear.
9. Bed covers: chances are the duvet, or bed spread is light colored. Never come into the bedroom all hot and sweaty and crash on the bed for a quick nap. You must first take a quick shower, dry off, and put on clean clothes. Your body sweat will stain that light colored material.
10. Pets: if the gal of the house has a pet, remember, it was here first. If the woman of the house has to make a choice, it will not be you!
If you will observe these house rules, your stay may eventually become permanent Most of these rules will apply, if she moves into your domain, but that's a whole separate topic!
Retired in 2012. I'm trying to out run old age and boredom. So far, I'm winning the race!
Tuesday, July 24, 2018
Sunday, July 15, 2018
Pool Talk, at the Markie Mark-Brunch on Us
Our little pool crew had so much fun on Saturday, doing our interpretation of cocooning and gossiping that it had to pick up again the next day. Let's bring snacks they said. Ok, cheese straws and champagne, that's the ticket!
We were the last to arrive. We look under the pavilion, and there is a table cloth on one of the picnic tables! This last minute planning idea resulted in a full blown pool tailgate! We had cheese straws, sausage balls, cinnamon rolls, chicken & waffles, fruit, and mimosas! What a deal! A late arrival came walking up with two small bags of chips and a box of cheesits. Girl! You gotta step up your game!
From here, our first topic of the day came from our mini-tailgate party. "Ya'll, let me tell ya about some of the crazy stuff from our Grove Tailgating!...." We all agreed, there are several universal "oh hell no's"that we all had in common:
1. Don't be walking up with just a bag of chips in your hand, oh hell no!
2. Don't be showing up at 12:00 for a 11:00 game with the sausage and biscuits that should a been there by 8:00. Oh hell no!
3. Don't show up, no ticket, no groceries, and clean us out while we are at the game. Oh, hell no!
4. Don't borrow a cooler because you forgot to bring one, then not return it to the owner. Oh hell no!
5. Don't be the one to announce, "were out of cups and paper products" when you never bring any. Oh hell no!
6. Don't show up late, and plop yourself in front of the tv and ask "when ya'll gonna have the game on???" Oh hell no!
7. Don't be showing up with several bottles of wine and ask, "anybody got a cork screw??? Oh hell no!
As the day wore on, even more topics were discussed. We all agreed to save the gossip for this coming week for next Saturday, for the next installment of Pool Talk, at the Markie Mark!
We were the last to arrive. We look under the pavilion, and there is a table cloth on one of the picnic tables! This last minute planning idea resulted in a full blown pool tailgate! We had cheese straws, sausage balls, cinnamon rolls, chicken & waffles, fruit, and mimosas! What a deal! A late arrival came walking up with two small bags of chips and a box of cheesits. Girl! You gotta step up your game!
From here, our first topic of the day came from our mini-tailgate party. "Ya'll, let me tell ya about some of the crazy stuff from our Grove Tailgating!...." We all agreed, there are several universal "oh hell no's"that we all had in common:
1. Don't be walking up with just a bag of chips in your hand, oh hell no!
2. Don't be showing up at 12:00 for a 11:00 game with the sausage and biscuits that should a been there by 8:00. Oh hell no!
3. Don't show up, no ticket, no groceries, and clean us out while we are at the game. Oh, hell no!
4. Don't borrow a cooler because you forgot to bring one, then not return it to the owner. Oh hell no!
5. Don't be the one to announce, "were out of cups and paper products" when you never bring any. Oh hell no!
6. Don't show up late, and plop yourself in front of the tv and ask "when ya'll gonna have the game on???" Oh hell no!
7. Don't be showing up with several bottles of wine and ask, "anybody got a cork screw??? Oh hell no!
As the day wore on, even more topics were discussed. We all agreed to save the gossip for this coming week for next Saturday, for the next installment of Pool Talk, at the Markie Mark!
Pool Talk, From the Markie Mark
Well, it has taken us almost 2 years to finally meet up with the right kinds people at the Markie Mark. Some are weekenders, some are resident owners, some are renters, and others just come back for a pool day because they miss it so much.
For the most part, we resemble those characters from the movie "Cocoon". We sit on our floats, sipping our favorite beverages, and trying to make as few ripples in the pool as possible!
Yesterday we all noticed this couple at the other end, enjoying the lounge chairs
The guy looked a lot older. The gal was a sweet looking blonde thang in a skinny bright yellow bikini. Occasionally, she would get out of her lounge chair to take a dip and wet her ankles.
All of us noticed the older guy would casually give her a pat on her behind. It wasn't a fatherly pat, either. After they left, one of our cocooners blurted out, "I don't think that was a father daughter thing!" OMG! The dam just broke on conversation!
This couple had to have been one of those sugar daddy and sugar baby thangs! One of our crew knows of a girl that goes out to dinner with older men, and gets tipped $150, plus the meal! We all then began plotting on how we could figure out which building they stay in! The old ladies in the assisted living facilities ain't got nothing on us!
We had so much fun that we had to give our little group a proper name! Pool Talk, at the Markie Mark was born! Plans were made to regroup the next day, pool side, early at 11:00 a.m. sharp! Cheese straws and mimosas would be served. I'm thinking, this is gonna be a hoot!
For the most part, we resemble those characters from the movie "Cocoon". We sit on our floats, sipping our favorite beverages, and trying to make as few ripples in the pool as possible!
Yesterday we all noticed this couple at the other end, enjoying the lounge chairs
The guy looked a lot older. The gal was a sweet looking blonde thang in a skinny bright yellow bikini. Occasionally, she would get out of her lounge chair to take a dip and wet her ankles.
All of us noticed the older guy would casually give her a pat on her behind. It wasn't a fatherly pat, either. After they left, one of our cocooners blurted out, "I don't think that was a father daughter thing!" OMG! The dam just broke on conversation!
This couple had to have been one of those sugar daddy and sugar baby thangs! One of our crew knows of a girl that goes out to dinner with older men, and gets tipped $150, plus the meal! We all then began plotting on how we could figure out which building they stay in! The old ladies in the assisted living facilities ain't got nothing on us!
We had so much fun that we had to give our little group a proper name! Pool Talk, at the Markie Mark was born! Plans were made to regroup the next day, pool side, early at 11:00 a.m. sharp! Cheese straws and mimosas would be served. I'm thinking, this is gonna be a hoot!
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