Sunday, August 7, 2016

GPS Crazy Chick

When we got our first Garmin years ago, it literally saved our marriage.  Before, we would try to find our way using a paper map, or worse, some hand written instructions, and of course, we would end up missing a turn, taking a wrong turn, and end up being mad at each other.

Enter the GPS gal to save the day!  The spousal unit did not appreciate my love affair with the Garvin chick.  She would say "you never get mad or yell at her!"  I'd just look a her and say "well at least with her, if I miss a turn, she says "recalculating"!"

Our GPS with our Chevy Traverse was wonderful.  If you couldn't load or find the location in the GPS, you simply called the OnStar folks and they would send you the directions via satellite, and off you go!

Well, the old Traverse got a few too many miles on her, and repairs were becoming a nagging issue, so time for a new ride.  The Spousal unit decided on an Acura MDX.

The Acura has a "state of the art" new high end, high tech, GPS system.  It mostly works off of voice commands.  That works great except that she will only listen to the driver, ignoring all other passengers.  The process works great, as long as you are speaking the Acura version of the English language.  If you are an ole southern Redneck like me, your patience will eventually run thin.

The backup plan would be to hit the "Acura link " button and ask for the directions to be downloaded, just like OnStar.  Only problem, they want $300 up front just to turn on that feature!  Being an independently minded feller, I ain't go time for that!

Normally, when heading to a new dot on the map, I'll take the time to load the coordinates before we leave the driveway.  This trip, I knew where I was going and how to get there.  The trip was gonna take around six hours, and about halfway, I got board, so what the hell, let's play Captain Kirk and voice command!

The Acura chick prefers you to give her city and State first, to narrow down the search.  I told her "Miramar Florida".  I admit, I spoke it in Southerneze, dragging out F-l-o-r-i-d-a!  She comes back with some place in Oregon!  WTH???  It got a little better once I tried "Destin", with a quick reference to "Florida".  But, the more I tried voice prompting the exact location, the more frustrated I became.

I looked over at the Spousal unit, who was laughing at me, so much that she was about to wet her pants.  I asked "what???"  She replied "you are yelling at her like you used to yell at me!!!  I guess the honeymoon with you two is over"!  Busted!  She had my number!  We were now both laughing our heads off!

Finally I just hit the cancel button on the Acura chick, hit goggle maps on my smartass phone, typed in the desired location, and bam!  Instant directions!  Strike up a win for Google!

I'm not done with the Acura chick yet.  There are many more battles with her coming before I throw in the towel!



No comments: