Do's and Don't's at the Beach

After being in Sandestin for a week, I have come across some do's and don't's that you might find helpful:

1.  Don't wear white socks, or any other color, with your sandals.  Looks down right dorky!

2.  Don't request a table for eight, sit down, order drinks, then decide its too cold and just get up and leave without paying.  That's just ain't right.

3.  Don't drink EVERCLEAR out in the sun during the middle of the day.  The rest of your stay will be spent talking to Ralph on the big white phone.

4.  Look in the mirror before going out.  If you look "camel toed" its time to change.

5.  If you have an AT&T cell phone, don't bring it to the Destin area, because it ain't gonna work!

6.  Capri Suns stored in the freezer make good ice blocks for a small cooler bag.

7.  If going on a time share tour, practice saying no, then NO then NO DAMIT, then oh what the hell!

8.  Dine early, short wait.

9.  If you are from Mississippi, yes they do sell wine in the grocery store

10. When wearing a speedo to the beach, remember to your cell phone in the back.

11. If you have a hairy back, shave it.  That stuff is like Velcro when you roll around in the sand.

12.  If you must drink tall boy PBR's, pour them in a cup instead of smashing the can against your     head.

13. Pack light for your trip.  Seems like that dang outlet mall is open 24-7!

14.  When you dine out, tip well.  Have you seen the real estate prices lately.

15.  If you have to ask how much is the umbrella and chair rental is, you probably can't afford it.

16.  When planning your trip, make room for your 100 year old relative.  Their handicapped parting permit makes parking a snap.  Be sure to unlock the trunk so they can get plenty of air.

17.  When visiting the pool, read the rules.  You never know if they have a "Pool Rule" for diarrhea.(true story)

18. If you weigh over 300 lbs and have a tramp stamp, cover it up!

19.  If you have a relative that is eight months pregnant and they are planning to wear a bikini to the beach, burn it!

20.  If it is your first time at the beach, don't make a mad dash dive through a wave first thing.  Chances are, the water is only a foot deep.

21.  If you see a swim suit just like yours, do not panic.  There are at least three more.

22.  If you are bringing something to the beach that is on wheels, remember, nothing rolls on sand.

23.  If your child is five and still breast feeding, do it before you get to the beach.

24.  If you are going to make Rotel dip, ask the clerk where the Velveeta is, you will never find it.

25.You will catch your self saying this more than once:  "What the hell, we're on vacation"!


Enjoy your stay and come back often!