Things Your Momma Might Say, or Maybe not

Over the years I have heard a few things, here and there, and not all attributed to my dear Mom:

1.   We chose that restaurant because it looked good from the outside

2.   Now, don't go repeating what I tell you because it was told to me in confidence

3.   Don't be putting this on Facebook.

4.   Learning to wiggle the computer mouse:  "Ok, I'm at the end of the desk, what do I do with it now?"

5.   Are you wearing any underwear?

6.   Every other word has a "R" in it, like Warshington!

7.   Wait till your Father gets home!

8.    Does she come from a good family?

9.    I know ya'll didn't have separate rooms in New Orleans!

10.  "Mom, what's a tampon"?  you get the book "For Boys Only" on your pillow that night.

11. "Now Son, there are some things penicillin can't cure.  If you get it, don't bring it home!"

12.  So, you want to smoke cigarettes huh?  Here is a whole pack.  I'm gonna sit here till you finish

13.  "Are you as good as you put out to be?" Yes Sir! (to my Grandpop).  "Then why is there a fifth of Wild Turkey in your refrigerator?"

14.  "Your Uncle has a heart condition.  The Doctor has recommended that he have a cocktail every evening to stimulate his heart.  We need to sample some so we came to you."

15.  First date: "Young man, do you see how pretty my daughter is?"  "Yes Sir", "Then bring her home looking just like that"!

16.  Son, underwear is not meant to be worn on both sides before washing.

17.  Son, nothing good ever comes from staying out past 11:00.

18. You don't eat like you used to, ever since you met her.

19.  Look!  A chest hair!

20.  Mom, what's wrong with sister?  "Its her time".

21.  Bent over giving the dog a trim, then a poot slips out,  she looks at the dog and  says "Well Buster?"

22.  (From the Dad)  Well, son, are you going to ever update that expired inspection sticker on you wife's car?.  One month later:  Well, Dad, are you going to ever update that expired inspection sticker on Mom's car?

23.  Mom, can I go to the movies with James, its not over until 11:00?  "Ask your Daddy".  Dad, can I go to the movies with James, its not over until 11:00? "Ask your Momma".

24. Power outage.  "Don't open that freezer!, you're gonna let all the cold air out."

25.  Visit to Son at his  college apartment:  Mom, Dad, ya'll take my bed, oh, and I won't be sleeping on the couch.  See you in the morning.....(grin from Dad, blank look from Mom!)

I'm sure there are more.  Life is good, get started enjoying it!