This stuff was left over from a spring break promotion and the front desk dude said take all you want. I'm guessing that they ran out of tooth brushes and condoms, but that's just my guess....
I went ahead and got the Rita machine going while the laundry was stirring. Here is you am trick on taking them to the pool or beach. I had to explain this to some blonde friends several times, as they kept getting confused.
Just mix them as normal, pour into a Ziploc bag and freeze. With the alcohol, they will not freeze completely. Either pour into your favorite Tervis cup, or insert a Smoothie straw into the bag. (That's where the blondes got lost).
Well, the spousal unit could not wait to hit the water, so off she went. I left for the pool about 45 minutes later. I turn the corner, open the gate, and bam! the glare hits me. Off go the readers, and on come my fancy dark shades. I look up to spot my darling, still using my arm to block the glare. I begin to wonder why she has put us my the kiddie pool, and only one chair? I get within five feet, and it suddenly has hit me that this woman is not my WIFE! (Oh shit, don't say anything, be calm, do not panic) I casually scan the pool deck and finally spot her on the complete other side. No problem, I just put on my "Joe Cool" slinky move and get to my chair with in the safety of the confines of the spousal unit. Whew!
No sooner do I get into my chair, I look up and see this spotted human critter of a young man. This dude looked like a red and white pinto pony!
He looked a whole lot worse than the picture shows. His momma said they covered him in sunscreen before they went to the beach. She also says this happens to him all the time. Can you spell "umbrella"????
I look at the spousal unit for a minute, and ask her what has she had to drink in my absence?
She said "Rita, of course!" I could kinda tell from the smile she was wearing. Got too hot, so time to head back to da room to cool off and ready ourselves for our dinner date with the timeshare lady.
I notice that Regions Bank must be sponsoring the bicycles around here because most of the are lime green:
We stop by the lobby to print off some papers. Well wouldn't know it, some kid had killed the courtesy pc with a virus. Spousal unit went into the lobby office, and that printer wouldn't work. Mr. Ed's paperwork is just gonna haveta wait a little longer!
I check FB one more time and I see were my friend Mark Stowers has done put a plug out there for me. This is a confused feller. He was raised on buttermilk and cornbread in the deep south, got educated down here, then up and moved 'Up North". The confusion comes into play that he is living high on the hog up north and writing and publishing articles down south. He has a electronic column every Friday in the Jackson MS newspaper, The Clarion Ledger. Check him out.
By the time I get back to the Condo unit, my smartass phone by now is dead in the water! While its charging, I'm trying to communicate with my friend girl Pam on the finer art of car rental in the greater Orlando area. Now getting ready for a dinner date with our new friend Jenn, the timeshare sales person.
Met at this nice Mexican restaurant, and the evil timeshare lady and her family turned out to be the nicest people. Turns out they take their horns off just like everybody else come 5:00.
She had the cutest five year old daughter named Haley Diamond Ring. I just had to ask her if her middle name wasn't "Cubic Zirconia"!
End of day five. Thank ya'll for reading. Comments are welcome (I think) and appreciated. Life is Good!
2 comments:
I made the blog! I am a celebrity. Pam
I am going to have to try the "Rita in a bag" one day!!!
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