Game Day Oxford, Damn Rookies!

This ole blog of mine is a view of life through my eyes.  What I see and hear on any given day will eventually make it to here.  Some days are slower than others,  but not yesterday's football Saturday in Oxford.  Here are some of the sightings:

1.  Everybody that walks by the Popo tent with an exposed package of beer will be popping the tops and pouring the contents down the drain.  Its a given, see it every game day.  But, if you are going to bring a rolling cooler, with a lock, be sure that the top is gonna stay on it when you hit a bump.  Having the contents spill out right in front of the Popo is a sure fire way to ruin the rest of your day!

2.  When arriving to set up your tailgate, be smart enough to bring the right containers and equipment.  You can buy yourself a copy cat little red collapsible wagon to carry your stuff.  Breakables should be wrapped properly to avoid breakage.  Your crab, shrimp, and artichoke dips should be in spill proof containers.  You are not gonna be happy when that big ole plastic tub without a lid is dropped in the middle of the road, contents spilling out everywhere and your favorite piece of McCarty is now in 30 pieces!

3.  When you bring your little man cub to the game without your spousal unit, expect the unexpected.  When he gets a bobo on his finger and sees a little drop of blood, his is gonna cry.  Putting said finger in your mouth ain't gonna do the trick.  Glad I was able to remind you about Band-Aids at the first aid station and the snow cone to cure those tears.  Lesson learned to you!

4.  If you plan to party hardy, have several airplane barf bags handy.  Having two of your former best friends walk you to the car three hours before kickoff is not cool.  Projectile vomiting in front of the PoPo is even worse!  And no, the bicycle taxi guy is not going to take you anywhere at the risk of more spillage!

5.  Hey Memphis off duty cops, that badge in your back pocket is not going to give you a free pass on the open container ordinances on this campus.  You will pour it out or you will get a free ride to the local pokey courtesy of our friend Glenn and his other copsters!

6.  If you are going to wear that short dress to the game, do not take the lead walking up the stairs.  That gets very distracting to the folks like me that sit on the end of the row!

7.  As you are leaving the area on a golf cart it is not a good idea to pull your little blue wagon behind.  Those curves and turns are funny to me and my crew, but not to the passersby you almost wipe out!

8.  When hiring these kids to work in the concession stand, make sure they can add up the cost of six items in their head.  Waiting in line with 30 other people while they pull out their calculator is a littler irritating.

9.  To the two dudes sitting behind me.  Keep your ignorance of the game of football to yourselves.  Yelling B.S. at the referees from 30 rows up, then hearing the ruling explained, then say, "oh, my bad" all game gets old after the first quarter.  I'm gonna bring my own flag with me next game and penalize you for being stupid.  No wonder you only bring man dates to the game!

10.  To the makers of all these red and blue game day dresses.  Could y'all get together and pick several kinds of material to use.  They are all beginning to look like uniforms!

11.  Ladies, do like my friends Emily and Janice.  They bring a minimum of four outfits and three pairs of shoes to each game.  You must be prepared for hot, cold, wet, and muggy weather.  Walking back after the game barefoot is not how your momma taught you!

12.  For all you Rebellion fans, have your spousal unit or date double check your tickets before leaving the house.  Ross Bjork announced in his three things to remember that you must bring the bar code portion of your ticket with you in order to be able to enter the game.  Having the date, section, row, and seat number is not enough information to be allowed into the stadium.  The attendant has to have that bar code in order to scan your ticket for you to get in.  They ain't paperless yet, and explaining to your spouse why she can't shake her fanny like a cheerleader wantabe today is not gonna be good for your health!

13. And where the hell is Elvis?  Dude! You have missed two home games already!

14.  To the concessionaires.  The $8 refillable cup is a great idea.  But, remember to rotate the color of the cup each week.  People like my friend Hart will bring last week's cup for free drinks all season.

15.  To the CSpire crew sitting in front of me.  Nice chatting with you about the fails of two weeks of beta testing the wireless network.  I was glad to give you feedback other than its a P.O.S.  Don't think two weeks of beta testing are gonna cut it.  Those that tried it said it sucked and there is no way they are going to pay $5 next week to use it.  Your CSpire customers will be happy because they will be the only ones on it!

Next weekend the spousal unit and I are splitting up.  She'll be in Oxford and I'm headed to Starkville.  I don't think the Rebellion is ready to be "Roll Tided" after last nights performance against Memphis.  And the kicker getting tossed for fighting????  He is the kick safety valve for God's sake!!!