Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Beach Funnies

Umbrella
Lady shows up at the beach with her young son and mother.  It was obvious to me from the start that grandmother would not be tolerating the sun for very long.  The daughter went about setting up the umbrella for shade for her dear mother.  It was a breezy day, and a gust of wind blew half of the canopy off of the umbrella.  She gets it put back together, then once again the wind blows the canopy half way off.  She finally figured out that she needed to lean the umbrella into the wind.  That seemed to work, NOT!  The next gust of wind collapsed half of the canopy into the umbrella pole.  The next gust wind separated the canopy from the rods.  That woman spent the better part of the day working on that umbrella to keep her mom in the shade.  Darling, next time, either bring a better umbrella or leave granny in the condo!

Runaway Kid
I was sitting on a bench at the wharf waiting on the spousal unit to finish her purchase in the candy shop.  This young couple with a toddler came walking by.  The parents got distracted in a conversation between themselves.  Their little boy made a mad dash for the garbage can next to the bench I was sitting on.  Something in the can caught his eye and he was bound and determined to reach in and get it.  His mom looked up in horror, screamed "oh my God!".  She reached into her purse as she was rushing over to him.  She grabbed his hands and began to squirt sanitizer on them while the boy began screaming " no momma no!". I'm cracking up, with visions of this woman chasing her son the rest of his childhood with that bottle of sanitizer and him yelling "no, momma no!"

Waiter
Back from the beach, and all cleaned up, it was time for dinner.  It was my time to pick.  It was time for chargrilled oysters at Acme Oyster House.  Our waiter arrived at our table to take our order.  He said his name was Angel.  He was wearing one of Acme's black t-shirts.  I asked him "don't angels wear white?". He looked at me for a minute, then replied " I must be a dark angel!". Great service.  Ask for Angel on your next visit!

Freebies
The condo we are staying in has some kind of deal with a supplier that sends them freebies for the spring breakers every year.  Last year, when you checked in, there was a basket full of tooth paste and disposable razors.  This year they have disposable razors again and feminine shaving cream for women.  The clerk said, please, take all you want!  I asked. They get 50 to 60,000 of these freebies.  Anybody want a razor????

No comments: