Damn That Hurt!

Gotta tell one on myself.

Back in the Spring, while working my assembly job at Home Depot, I was charged with assembling 5 pine picnic tables at one location.  I had plenty of tools for the job, just not the right one.  Seems that there is a special socket that you can use with your impact driver on the wing nuts used in the assembly process.  Well, I figured out that a small crowbar worked pretty good when it came to tightening those wing nuts.

As you might guess, these tables have quite a bit of weight and size to them.  They are made of 2 inch thick pine that is 8 inches wide and around 5 feet long.  I decided to stack the finished ones on top of each other to conserve floor space for the floor.  While I was attempting to stack the last one, I lost my grip, and gravity took over.  I was able to slow it down a bit with the grip I still had with my other hand.

That table came to rest with a big thud, right on top of my left big toe.  I'm not required to wear steel toed boots, but other safety measures are followed in attempts to avoid injury.  We have an expression, "if you haven't cut yourself this week, you aren't working!"  Well that big toe of mine did a bit of throbbing the rest of the day.  When I got home, of went the shoes and socks and on went my flippers.  Them toes of mine have got to breathe!  Big toe wasn't much on breathing at this moment, as the toenail had turned black.  The Spousal unit said I'd be losing that toenail for sure.

I went about my business the rest of the week, working for the weekend.  At the neighborhood gathering, people kept asking me what was wrong with my big toe.  Told them my little story, and life went on.  Couple of days later I ran into some friends, and they were all asking "dude, what's with the toe?"  After a while you get tired of answering the same old questions about me and my big toe!  I decided I had to do something.

Son #1's girly friend has taken up residence with us until she can get on her feet financially.  One of the things she brought with her was her collection of over 500 different colors of nail polish.  I got to thinking, "well, maybe she has a color that would match my skin tone.  After about 15 minutes of digging, I found three bottles that might work.  I set me up a nail polishing station, and picked the closest match.    I've painted the inside and out of houses many times, but never my toenail.  It took four coats to finally get that black toenail to look a little bit like the others.  Hee, Hee, kinda felt proud of my self, God forbid I end up in a nail salon!

When the Spousal Unit and the Girly Friend got home, I just had to share my accomplishment.  I showed the Girly Friend the bottle I used, and she began to laugh!  I said, "what's so funny?"  She replied "Well, the bottle you used is scented!"  Now we are all laughing!  I offered up my toe for them to take a sniff but got no takers.

I got good use out of those four coats of polish.  Made a beach trip and lots of errand trips wearing my flippers, and not one question about my big toe.  I guess the scent had worn off.  The Spousal Unit eventually began to complain that it was starting to look like it had a fungus.

I finally relented, and off to the bathroom I went.  Since it was only one toe, removing the polish was a snap.  Once it was clean, I noticed that you could really see that the nail was dead.  I reached for the clippers and snip, snip, off went the majority of the nail.  Most of the black discoloration was gone too!

Thankfully, a new toenail has begun to grow up under what's left of the old one.  Every so often I get out the trimmers and remove a little bit more of the old nail.  I learned my lesson with those picnic tables , and fortunately haven't seen one since.  I'll be ready for them next spring, with a pair of work boots, and a brand new wing nut socket driver!

I think my luck is changing.  I had a run in today with a red wasp, and he just missed my left hand with his stinger.  At this point in my life, any karma is good karma.  Till next time.......