Parody-Public Beach vs Resort Beach

I've been at the Sandestin Resort and Beach for a week, and I've written several blog posts about the daily occurrences during that stay.  In looking back, and reflecting on the events of the trip, some things began to stick out, like the difference in what I see at resorts vs visits to public beaches.

Life Guards:
At the resorts, you are pretty much on your own.  Occasionally the beach patrol will ride through on their four wheeler that is all decked out with rescue gear.  The public beaches, for the most part, have paid lifeguard staff manning lifeguard towers during the prime beach hours of the day.

Beer:
Yep, you've got beer at both places.  No beach, resort or public allow glassware or glass bottles on the beach.  Rules on that are pretty clear.  You can get ticketed at either place.  The difference is in the container.  The public beach patron has his in the easy opening pop top can that Jimmy Buffet is so famous for singing about.  The resort patrons also have their beer in cans, but its the screw top variety, in the tall cans.  Plus, the resort patrons occasionally will pour theirs into a drinking cup.

Coolers:
The public beach patron will bring his jumbo cooler full of iced down beer, usually requiring a buddy to heal tote the load.  They are there for the day and don't plan to make any return trips to the parking lot!  The resort patron either uses his small Yeti or a soft sided cooler.  This guy either limits his intake for the day, or makes several trips back to the room to refill.  Others like me are enjoying frozen margaritas in Ziploc bags, poured into an insulated cup.  I refer to these as "Ziporitas".

Bathrooms:
With the consumption of considerable amounts of beverages, gravity will kick in.  In both cases, the men tend to stroll out into the water, waist high, and pause, back to the beach.  They are easily spotted looking like solitary posts in a rolling sea.  In a few minutes they do an about face, and return to the shore.  The women folk are cut from a different mold.  The Female patrons at the public beach typically will follow their male counterparts into the sea, but with more splash, so as not to be profiled as a squatter.  The female resort patrons will work their way back to the facilities near the Hotel/Condo/or street.

Shuttle Service:
The resort usually provides a shuttle service at no cost to the patrons that have accommodations that are scattered throughout the resort and not necessarily on the beach.  Patrons are shuttled to the parking lot, the hotel/condos, and other destinations within the resort.  The only shuttle service at the public beach is the one that takes you to the police station for public drunkenness!

Tattoos:
During my stay at the resort this week, I saw very few tattoos on the patrons.  Believe me, I looked!  Most of the tattoos were small and were discretely placed on the arm, shoulder, leg or back.  The public beach patrons tend to have much larger tattoos, which are all over the body.  Sleeve tattoos are a common site as well.  I have nothing against folks with tattoos, but sometimes I look at the tattoo, then look and the person, and wonder "what the hell was he/she thinking!"

Chairs and Umbrellas:
Public beach patrons tend to bring their own, usually just a towel,  or blanket, sometimes an umbrella or party tent.  The resort patron will do the umbrella and chair rental, usually at a going rate between $200 to $250 for a week.  Some bring their own, more often than not, a "Tommy Bahama"  chair and umbrella set.  They also have some type of cart to haul the chairs and umbrellas to the shoreline.  They have spent about as much on their beach toys as a week rental, but they will be used enough to justify the cost as a savings.

Editorial:
Me, I love going to the beach with my spousal unit, and we usually take family or friends.  I spend my time with a good book, and I always have an eye out looking for a photo opportunity or a story to re-tale on this blog.  The number one unwritten rule, is "what happens under my umbrellas stay under the umbrellas".  Nothing goes into the blog without prior approval from our crew.  I bring my own chairs and umbrellas, I have a cart, and you better believe that I have ziporitas in my soft sided cooler.  Everything I post here is meant to be funny or entertaining.  If you find some postings offensive, remember you clicked through the warning prior to reading any of my posts. For those regular readers, thank you for your patronage.  For the occasional reader, "ya'll come back now, ya here!".

Loving life, 'cause it is good, all the time!  Come join me sometime :-)