This would be the first roadie trip to Oxford in the Spousal's unit new ride. I read the manual this week and found more innovative technology features to try. I discovered that if you Bluetooth connected your phone to the car, the girlfriend under the hood could display your text messages on the video screen and play them back to you.
We are on hwy 43, going the back way to I55. I ask the Spousal unit to send me a text. Sure enough, the girlfriend under the hood picks up the text and displays "you have a text" on the screen. I come to a stop at the next red light, and with my foot on the break, I push the buttons to near the playback of the text message. Well, the girlfriend under the hood announces "keep your eyes on the road".
At this point, I'm thinking WTH! How does this car know I'm in the road since my foot is on the break? Thinking quickly, we are still at the redlight, so I push the park button and then hit the replay button. Again, I get the message over the speaker, "keep your eyes on the road". You gotta be kidding me! The car is in park for God's sake! Then it hits me, that was the message that the spousal unit sent! We both laughed til our stomachs hurt and agreed that was the best gotcha from her for all time!
We finally made it to our destination of Oxford and took the Lamar Avenue exit. Traffic was backed up for blocks, but it was only noon, with a 6:00 kickoff, what the heck??? Nobody was going anywhere fast. I took a chance and traveled the nonexistent turn lane all the way up to University Avenue, passing at least 30 cars. Well duh! They were all headed to the Oxford Square, the Mecca of Rebel Nation! Me, I just turned left and we were unloading in no time at all!
The corn hole game was set up for all to enjoy. One of our little critter buddies asked me if it was ok if he and his dad could play. Observing that he was quite young, jokingly I said "sure, but you have to be at least 14 to play". He gave be one of those puzzled looks, then blurted out "I'm 14!" His Dad got a good laugh outta that, telling me that his current age was 13! We both had that look on our face, that we both knew what he would be doing once he got to town later in life as a freshmen-"Library!" They were both serious corn holers, only counting the throws that went through the hole!
My father-in-law arrived and took his place in the middle of the semicircle of chairs. I took the seat next to him and we began catching up on the hot topics of the day. After a while, he announced that he was gonna turn his chair around because he was missing all the action. One thing both he and i have in common is that we're both still boys inside! We laughed at the passerby's that got busted for carrying cases of beer. It was so funny to see these two older guys get taken down carrying a twelve pack in one hand and a bag of ice in the other. They gave up the beer but weren't giving up on the ice!
My father-in-law, then made the observation "you know, the skirts keep getting shorter and shorter!" I said, yep, back in your day this would be scandalous! He commented that in the 1950's if a coed had gym class she would have to wear her outfit under a full length coat to walk across campus. Yep, times sure have changed!
A bunch of us guys were standing around doing our bird watching when one of our party spotted a chic prancing down the street coming our way. All males were on chic alert! Got her on radar!, tall, blonde, slender, wearing one of the skimpy outfits of the day. Turns out she was a friend of one of our female party and she stopped to chat. All of our man crew stopped and looked at each other. The closer the chic got, the sooner we discovered she was more mother hen material, and quite underfed! We all said whoops!, eyesight failure!!! That's why we call it window shopping! Never buy till you have tried it on!
It was finally time to make our way toward the stadium. I walked solo while the spousal unit took the ADA taxi with her Dad. I woulda rode too, but gravity was kicking in and I knew some port-o-john were right around the corner. As a woman was exiting, I made my entrance. How a woman can take a seat in one of these and do her business is beyond me! I could hear kids playing behind my particular unit. They were playing tag. All of a sudden my unit went bam!, it was home base. They don't make these things like they used to. Those kids had the whole unit rocking everytime they tagged it. My biggest fear at this point was a tidal splash back! Needless to say, I exited quickly!
I met up with my party and we make our way to our seats. Paw-n-law takes his seat and I look down to find only enough room for one of my cheeks to land. Now I'm hoping my neighbor is a no show or at least tee tiny! I look over at paw-in-law and he is sitting there spread eagle, with his legs wide-open! I'm thinking it must be because of his two new knees and one new hip! That, or the reseating has claimed more territory for more seat numbers! Thank God for sending me a tiny to for a neighbor on this night. I shared my peanuts as a thank you!
I noticed we had a young cutie pie Vandy fan sitting amongst us. She had captured my fancy as she made her way back an forth during the game. Then, during one pass, I noticed her wedding ring finger. That was the biggest wedding ring I had ever seen! The fella she married sitting next to her now had my sympathies! Maintence, HIGH maintence! Good luck young man!
Game over, rebellion won, now back to the tailgate tent to pack up. Traffic was gonna be one way for quite awhile. How in the hell am I going to get a loaded wagon and a 150 pound corn hole game to the car. Where there's a will there is a way!
In a couple of days I'll be ready for the next one. Lucky me! It's in Gainesville, Florida!
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