Tailgating Funnies From MSU

I am the greatest fan of spectator sports that God put on this earth.  Some are chosen to lead as coaches.  Others have God given talents to be players on the field.  Me, I take great pride in being one of the greatest spectators of all time!

Being a spectator takes a lot of work.  Your eyes must be on the lookout at all times.  Our never know when an event will occur that requires your full attention.

We have arrived early and unloaded.  We head out for a few more errands, stopping by Popeyes for a to go order.  I return to campus to secure my parking space.  The parking lot attendant says "that will be $20, and man that fried chicken smells good!"

In tailgating, you must observe the weather conditions around you.  When setting up your tents the night before, you must anticipate all senerios.  The surprise waiting for you after a night storm is a mangled mess of collapsed canvas and twisted poles.  It's amazing what you can do with a little bit of bailing wire and a roll of duct tape!

When you have all the right tools for the job, but they are all the wrong colors, what do you do?  Any average grandmother knows, when you have an Ole Miss Table colored in red and blue and you are in the dawg's house, you simply cover it a cloth colored in maroon!

You know a young man wasn't raised properly when you observe him packing his ice chest, and he puts the ice in first.  And, this kid is a junior!  I was scared to death to ask him what his major was!

At some point during the day you have to wonder what has happened to your own children.  With mine, I blamed a slip by the man cub on the stress of always being in too big of a hurry.  I look up, and he is nowhere to be found.  He has headed back to the condo to retrieve not one, but two vegetable trays left in the refrigerator.   He had one job..., along.with a lot of others.

Parking on GameDay is at a premium.  When you are in charge of the Bud Light dune buggy with built in tshirt machine gun, you must not overstay is a reserved parking spot.   Yes, it will get towed!

We get to the stadium and make it to our seats.  A nice couple have the last two seats on the end of the row.  We have the next two.  You know somebody is short, when they stand up next to you, while you are in the sitting position, and you are still several  inches taller!

Watching tailgate rookies take down a tent after the show is comical.  Off comes the canopy.  Then, on three, grab your pole and walk to the center.  Seems someone in your party always forgets to push the hidden button.  Another tent for the trash pile, and you were sooooo close!

I have my cart loaded to the brim.  It has bicycle tires and is rated for up to 350 pounds.  It's a balancing act, but pushing it to the truck in the parking lot is a breeze.  A woman stops you in mid stride and says "here, let my son help you with your load.  He hasn't helped me with anything all day and you look like a good place for him to start!"

Such is the life of a tailgater, and it's only week two!  Ready, set, go!  Time to begin prepping for week three!