It's only the first game of the year in Oxford, but already change is in the air. The game of football is still the same, but the rules for tailgating are being tampered with. Tailgating in the circle and the Grove have been a tradition for quite some time. There is only so many spots in these two locations. Tent setup begins after 7:30 p.m. on Friday evening. In the past, fans could take up residence on a spot of dirt, waiting for the appointed hour. Now, these two areas are off limits until 7:30. There will be some tense moments as fans maneuver for ownership of spots. Our location isn't in danger because we are next to the University PD'S tent.
Gone are the hazards of exploding propane tanks from gas grilling. No more potential for any forest fires from charcoal. The hum of 10,000 generators is a distant memory. You tell people about parking amongst the mighty oaks and the younger generation says, "do what???" Listening to the drum line warm up in the circle is all but forgotten. Now everything is prettied up. Brick pathways for the walk of champions. Red and Blue trash cans placed in all the right places, and electrical outlets every so many feet. There is even indoor plumbing, whether its an out house or a trailer house called the Hotty Toddy Potty.
Today's game had that awful start time of 11:00 a.m., which we have experienced many times before. We were driving in, and wanted to be there early for fellowship, food, and bird watching before heading to the house that Vaught built. We targeted 8:00, being three hours before the appointed time, but only 2 hours before the migration. Traffic shouldn't be a problem, and parking is a no brainer since we have a parking pass at the Ford Center. Now, just get across the bridge on University Avenue for the unloading.
Well, 100 yards before you get to the bridge, traffic comes to a stand still. Cars in front of you are unloading. What the heck? We always pull up in the spot where the ambulance is stationed, ahead of its arrival for quick and easy unloading. No need to pull up further, into the "Grove Unloading spaces, 15 minute maximum parking time". Today, the Grove loop is totally vacant, like a ghost town. The University PD has barricaded the entrance. I'm thinking WTH????? The school had already started shutting down entry to campus two hours before kickoff if you don't have a parking pass, and its now 8:15? We finally get to out unloading destination, and see the traffic cops are diverting all cars to turn left, with no entry for unloading.
As I'm approaching our tailgate spot, right behind the UPD station, a woman is yelling at our favorite officer, "Possum". She is screaming "what is going on?!!! My caterer has called me an he cannot get here to do our delivery or anybody else's food!" Here comes more women, and more yelling! I ask ole Possum "what's the deal?" News alert: the Grove will be off limits to vehicle traffic three hours before kickoff before every home game". I'm thinking, ok, MSU has been doing this for several years. Then I realize that the University implemented this new regulation without taking the time to inform the tailgating public. Somebody has just created a cluster ****!
The news quickly spreads through phone calls, text messages, and social media like Facebook. Traffic in and around the campus is now in gridlock because of the diverted traffic away from the grove. The chat boards will be lighting up big time and somebody's head will have to roll! Once people figure it out, they go into plan B. Women that usually carry in the flower arrangements and the bottles of wine and now loaded down like pack mules. Two young bucks are having to stop and rest every 30 yards because they are now having to hand deliver the heaviest wide screen flat panel you have ever seen. People that usually make one trip from the parking lot are now forming a wagon train, all pulling those collapsible wagons that now come in all the fashionable colors! Wagons ho!!
Now , our tailgate crew is in a rush! Time is passing by far too quickly. Traffic has made for late arrivals. Fortunately our food plan was brunch and munch due to early kickoff and the anticipated heat. In no time at all, the marching band has struck up, and have begun their march. Whoa! I haven't even had my first margarita! Quick! grab the purses, check for tickets! Women and children first! Off we go! The migration to Vaught's house has begun!
We have different seats this year. One section over. Three seats on one row, and a fourth two rows higher. Ole Miss wanted more money. Time to redistribute the ticket wealth to those with deeper pockets. Section F, our home for 40+ years is now beyond the family's reach. $1,000 one time capital contribution this year to keep your same seats from last year in this section. Plus $400 per seat goes to the athletic foundation for the right to buy the ticket in those seats each year. Then there is the cost of the tickets. That's right at $2,000 per seat for a total of $8,000 to sit on aluminum bleachers and bake in 90+ degree heat!
Next, the price of the program guide. $10, up from $5. Whoa!!! But it has a hologram souvenir on the front and a poster on the inside. Whoopie! Now off to concessions. Large cup price $8, but it is now bottomless, with unlimited refills. Genius marketing plan. People usually only buy one cupful a the game. Profit, profit, profit! We pass our old seats on our way to the new ones. Yep, much younger crew with deeper pockets now enjoying what the University has labeled "best seats in the house", at a price!
Today is definitely a hot one with no air movement. The spousal unit didn't last to the second of many touch downs. The concourse was filling up fast. The bottle water concession has dried up, and its not even the end of the first quarter. People are returning for a refill, but they are wanting ice and water. No water tap on the soda fountain, so now things are backing up with trips to the sink faucet at the rear of the concession stand. We left after the spousal unit finished watching the halftime show. Pretty sure they ran out of ice not long after.
Back to our tailgating station. Most of our tailgating crew has beaten us getting there. Several commented on how the heat took its toll, many seeing others requiring assistance. New tailgating regulations require campers to be cleared out three hours after the game. Today, that would not be a problem. But what about future games. What are fans going to do with all the passed out coeds? The traffic lines will possibly be more intense. What else is on the horizon?
Purse sizes are now limited to 12x12x12. Fans are now using those bladders for their favorite adult beverages, and half pints in the girlfriend's cowboy boots. Today was a white out game, so none of the frat boys were wearing the traditional navy blazer and kakis.
I made a joke about there being 40,000 virgins all dressed in white for this opening game of the season. Everybody looked at me. More like 400, maybe they replied. Sign of the times I guess.
I am predicting that within the next five years the campus will be closed off to car traffic totally, accept for access to the parking spaces. No more unloading at the Grove curbside. Within the same timeline, there will be a lottery for tailgating site rental. The passion for the tradition is going to get derailed in the name of public safety and the almighty dollar. Sit back and watch. Resistance is futile. Your tailgating traditions will be assimilated. Pay to park. Pay to ride. Pay for your spot. And pay us for your catered food. After all, "We are, Ole Miss". Me, I'm just a maroon dawg that married into the frenzy, sitting back, taking notes, and watching it all happen.
Cheers! and Hobby Lobby to all!
Retired in 2012. I'm trying to out run old age and boredom. So far, I'm winning the race!
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