Flashbacks

I've reached the golden age of 50+ with one more year remaining.  The two boys are now adults and are beginning to venture out on their own.  The Spousal Unit and I are now closer that ever, with me sharing in lots of her work days as the chauffeur of the rich and famous.  Got lots of time on my hands during the down times to think back of the roads we have travelled together.  In no particular order....

1.  I used to get all huffy and puffy on travel days.  It never failed, the spousal unit would forget to tell me where to turn, and I would get lost, or spend forever back tracking to eventually reach our destination.  This was of course before smartass phones with google maps.  Along came Dora the Explorer, the GPS!  This little contraption literally saved our marriage.  The spousal unit once said "how come you always would get mad at me, but you never get mad at her?!!!"  I replied, "simple, my dear, Dora has a comeback for a missed turn, "recalculating!""

2.  As a young buck, it seemed like I could drive forever, only needing to stop for a tank of gas.  Drink refills and potty breaks were included as a three for one, back in those days.  Now, we have to stop for gas, we stop for meals, we even stop for emergency potty breaks.  The Spousal Unit's new car has all the old and some of the latest features I would have never considered paying for in the past.

The car has memory seat settings for driver #1 and drive #2.  You don't have to push the button, because the car senses which key fob is in the driver's seat, and automatically moves into the proper setting.  The steering features settings that keep the car in the current traffic lane and will even steer itself in a curve.  The cruise feature will keep the car several car lengths behind the car in front of you.  The voice command system only listens to the voice in the driver's seat, almost the next generation Dora!  The car will of course answer your phone, and now will even display your text messages on the video screen!  The only feature missing is a built in urinal!

3.  Bladder control is a thing of the past.  Now, when Fred hears water running, he goes into automatic pilot, "Run, do not stop, until we have reached a urinal destination!"  I knew it was eventually gonna happen.  I've always taken pride knowing I had good water pressure.  The early signs of aging hit me when the boys were young.  While on a roadie trip, we made a pit stop on the side of the road at a rural intersection.  The boys and I got out.  I gave the order "Ok, lets see who can hit the stop sign?"  I barely was able to reach the pole, while both boys went over the top!

4.  Growing up and learning how to cook, I would ask my Dad about a favorite recipe.  His reply would all ways be, "You follow the basic recipe, and add a little of this, and a little of that".  Being an accountant by training, this would drive me nuts.  Finally he would dictate those special recipes for me to put down on paper, "a bottle of this, a 1/4 bottle of that, an pinch of salt......"  Dad!  what SIZE bottle!  I still use same measurements, but now I'm modifying them as best I can to include ounces, my gift to the next generation of Weems Boys doing the cooking.  (Also loading them into an Excel spreadsheet)

5.  In the early years, vacations were "all out!"  Nonstop from early morning till midnight, each and every day.  It was nothing to have two or three blisters on each foot.  Vacations were special, we only had seven days, and I was bound and determined to not waist a minute.  Then Father Time began creeping up on me.  I used to fear no ride, I would tackle them all, at least once, showing no fear to the boys and the Spousal Unit.  Father time has not been good to me.  Now I take my place on the park bench with all the other former green faced, stomach turning  devotees of coaster madness.  My ultimate sadness was the day I was too big for the Harry Potter Ride at Universal.  All of us rejected subjects had one thought in mind, "if they only made the seat bigger....."  And now there is a new ride in Potterville.  I wonder, will I succumb to the same fate as the other......

6.  When the boys were young, I would stay busy in the kitchen during Holiday season baking cookies and gingerbread men for them to take to school and share with their homeroom.  Then they hit the age where the Dad message was "sorry Dad, but I'm not going to be seen taking cookies and gingerbread men into school!"  The cookie cutters have laid dormant for quite a few years.  A new generation of babies are coming along, and now, with the power FB, people of my generation are messaging me "I want some too!"  Now I'm playing around with coloring and flavoring royal icing as an added touch.

7.  Seemed like for a bunch of years, the only thing that our boys would eat came in the "Happy Meals" bag from McD's, in the form of chicken McNuggets.  By the time the boys got to High School, it w.as all about McAlisters.  Forget those fast food burger joints!  Now its all about specialty foodie shops and Sushi!  Our last visit to a Sushi Restaurant in Oxford yielded us a complementary appetizer, shot of sake, and some sushi tacos!  Oh and a tab of well over $100!

8.  When the Spousal unit was in College, tailgating consisted of popping open the trunk, and enjoying a bucket of Colonel Sanders finest!  Now, fees are paid for tent and table setups.  Fans come in droves pulling one of those wagons that have a mind of their own.  Chicken no longer has a bone in it, and it comes in a variety of flavors.  The status symbols of tailgating, 1.  Tent in team colors, 2. Honda Generator, 3.  maximum size flat screen tv, and 4. whatcha drinking?  We're now up to microbrews and frozen margaritas!

9.  My good neighbor Kevin has a rule, the five finger rule.  First you get a high school diploma, second, a college degree.  Third come a good paying job.  Fourth comes marriage, and fifth, if you're lucky, babies in multiples.  Back in my day, the little old ladies of the church would start the clock from the time you got married to the day of the birth.  Their afternoon teas would be full of discussion of who was early, who was on time, and who, God forbid, would have none.  Now, good luck on the five finger rule. And, the days of wondering, will it be a boy, or a girl are now history.  Its all about "gender parties", and I wonder if they will ever get married?????

10.  Its kinda funny.  When you think about flashbacks, the old phrase "what goes around, comes around."  We spent many a vacation with the boys going to amusement parks.  Disney, Universal, Bush Gardens, Sea World, and several Six Flags locations.  most have been visited several times, so much so, that the boys had had enough.  Well guess what?  Heading back!  The girly friends have never been or not as much!  Here we go again!  Park bench, I'm coming for ya!