Highway Bathroom Etiquette 101

Warning, warning, Will Robinson!

Lately, in our travels, we are finding the rating scale for rest room cleanliness to be off the charts, as in not even registering.  This road trip just about did us in.  Here are a few rules:

1.  If the exit sign only shows one gas station, slow down and read the sign.  If the stop is more than a mile away, re-enter the interstate.  Usually a hole in the road.  Trust me, the spousal unit has learned the hard way to hold it a little longer.

2.  If you enter a convenience store in your travels and come across an old friend just coming out of the restroom, do your best to avoid the hand shake.  More often than not, that hand has not seen water, soap, or paper towel in the last four hours.

3.  Before taking your seat in the stall, check for seat covers and plenty of toilet paper.  Nothing like hearing the guy in the next stall say "hey buddy, can you pass me a roll"!

4.  If you enter the men's room and need to use the urinal, take the one at the other end of the restroom, not the one next to me, unless all others are taken.

5.  While in the men's room, do not ask me "hey buddy, you got four quarters for a dollar" for the men's room vending machine.

6.  If you really have a bad one, its OK to flush a few times before finishing, believe me!

7.  To the guy that has to take his leak into the only toilet in the room, lift the lid, its not that hard.

8.  To the girl shacked up with my son and not paying any rent, please take the bowl brush and swish it around for a minute or two once a week.  Small duty that is appreciated by the owner during the occasional visit.

9  .Ladies.  Be prepared, It cracks me up when you ask to borrow $5 outside the ladies room.

10.  Be like the spousal unit.  When its an obvious bathroom break, buy something.  It surprises the heck out of the cashier.  I love snicker bars.....

11.  It amazes me that a woman that has to go real bad, can be in and out in a flash, while the guy is still trying to find the zipper.

12.  Men, remember, it is better to pee on porcelain than directly into the water.  Less noise, and no misguided splashing.

I'm sure there are a lot more rules for the road.  These were some obvious ones from this last road trip!